Dental plan!

pleas advice

its whisper quiet!

suicide_circus

Moe: Hawaii here we come. Ananakooli, Makawani, Ana-ona, Nanawula Wa, Hawaii...ha

Homer: Hawaii? What about Hawaii? Moe? Who's going to Hawaii? Am I going to Hawaii?

Wiggum: Stop saying Hawaii in there.

razorblunt

"oh man I shouldn't have eaten the mint first"

EagererBeaver

This is nothing but dead white male bashing from a PC thug. It's women like you who keep the rest of us from landing a husband.

Realt Dearg Sec

EagererBeaver wrote: »

This is nothing but dead white male bashing from a PC thug. It's women like you who keep the rest of us from landing a husband.

Oh I'm sorry honey, I've been called a greasy thug too, and it never stops hurting.

pleas advice

Cletus, up a telegraph pole:
Hey, you know what? I could call my ma while I'm up here.

HEY, MAW! GET OFF THE DANG ROOF!

Beanntraigheach

Homer: Hmm, I guess Bart's not to blame.
He's lucky too, because it's spanking season and I got a hankerin' for some spankerin'!

Ipso

STEALING! How could you? Why do you think I took you to see all those "Police Academy" movies, FOR FUN? I DIDN'T HEAR ANYONE LAUGHING, DID YOU? except at that guy who made sound effects.

Realt Dearg Sec

Ipso wrote: »

STEALING! How could you? Why do you think I took you to see all those "Police Academy" movies, FOR FUN? I DIDN'T HEAR ANYONE LAUGHING, DID YOU? except at that guy who made sound effects.

Where was I? Oh yeah, stay out of my liquor cabinet!

Grab All Association

Well I don't know what phallocentric means, but NO GIRLS!

Froshtbit

You don't win friends with salad!

god's toy

Can you name the truck with four wheel drive,
smells like a steak and seats thirty-five..
Canyonero! Canyonero!

Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down,
It's the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown!
Canyonero! (Yah!) Canyonero!

The Federal Highway comission has ruled the
Canyonero unsafe for highway or city driving.
Canyonero!

12 yards long, 2 lanes wide,
65 tons of American Pride!
Canyonero! Canyonero!

Top of the line in utility sports,
Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!
Canyonero! Canyonero! (Yah!)

She blinds everybody with her super high beams,
She's a squirrel squashing, deer smacking, driving machine!
Canyonero!-oh woah, Canyonero! (Yah!)
Drive Canyonero!
Woah Canyonero!
Woah!

"Dear Homer, I.O.U. one emergency doughnut. Signed, Homer."

Bastard! He's always one step ahead.

pleas advice

Ipso wrote: »

STEALING! How could you? ....

When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany, like that movie "Spaceballs."
But instead it was dark and disturbing, like that movie "Police Academy."

Fanny Wank

Kent Brockman: Mr. Simpson, how do you respond to the charge that petty vandalism such as graffiti is down 80%, while heavy sack beatings are up a shocking 900%.

Homer: Oh people can come up with statistics to prove anything Kent. Forty percent of all people know that.

EagererBeaver

Fanny **** wrote: »

heavy sack beatings

Unquestionably one of my favourite bits in the entire show.

paddylonglegs

EagererBeaver wrote: »

Unquestionably one of my favourite bits in the entire show.

But you have to supply your own knobs

Ipso

"I'd like 25 copies on goldenrod, 25 copies on canary, 25 copies on saffron, and 25 copies on paella."
"Okay, 100 yellow.

EagererBeaver

Fanny **** wrote: »

Kent Brockman: Mr. Simpson, how do you respond to the charge that petty vandalism such as graffiti is down 80%, while heavy sack beatings are up a shocking 900%.

Homer: Oh people can come up with statistics to prove anything Kent. Forty percent of all people know that.

Oh, also, I think that last line is made even better by it being "forfty" percent.

Realt Dearg Sec

EagererBeaver wrote: »

Oh, also, I think that last line is made even better by it being "forfty" percent.

To quote a related show, you are technically correct, the best kind of correct.

god's toy

Homer: Your old meat made me sick.
Apu: I am so sorry, sir. Please accept five pounds of frozen shrimp.
Homer: These shrimp aren't frozen, and they smell funny.
Apu: Okay, ten pounds.
Homer: Woohoo!

Sephiroth_dude

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NV2taZ8-0EI

Rawr

Christopher Walken [Reading to kids sitting around him]:

Goodnight ROOM. Goodnight MOON.
Goodnight COW jumpin' over the moon.

[Kids listening slowly back away, terrified]

Please, children, SCOOTCH closer.
Don't make me tell you again about the SCOOTCHING.
You in the red, chop-chop.

Fanny Wank

Gloria S.: Johnny-boy hasn't been able to cut it, man-wise, for some time, not that I'd want stench of gin and sour defeat pressed against me.

John S.: That's enough, Gloria!

Reverend Lovejoy: John, why don't you speak?

John S.: She never cooks, she doesn't keep a clean house, she

[shouts]

John S.: smokes and she drinks and she talks profanely! She's the queen of the harpies!

Gloria S.: No, I'm not.

John S.: [shouts] Queen of the harpies!

Gloria S.: No, I'm not!

John S.: [shouts] Here's your crown, Your Majesty. Queen of the harpies!

Gloria S.: Get away from me, you swine!

7 Seconds...

RhubarbCrumble

Can I come too... wrote: »

I see what you did there

Rawr

Kent Brockman: Police say the fake Pope can be easily recognized by his high-top sneakers and incredibly foul mouth.

Grab All Association

Can I come too... wrote: »

Manual winder on door card yet Homer winds up the window electrically

Realt Dearg Sec

Grab All Association wrote: »

Can I come too... wrote: »

Manual winder on door card yet Homer winds up the window electrically

I hope someone got fired for that blunder.

god's toy

Krusy: I'm not the type of father who you' know does things or says stuff or even looks at you... But the Love is there.