Dental plan!

Fox Hound

This radio-controlled plane gives your baby the chance to fly, just like my son here. He can execute the barrel-roll, loop-de-loop, then bring it in for the perfect landing. Whoo. (Plane crashes) Oh dear, my wife is going to kill me.

Ipso

I think I’m coveting my own wife.

I’m meek, but I could be meeker!

Sin City

Chorus ] " The Simpsons " [ Bell Ringing ] [ Tires Screeching ] D'oh! [ Screams ] - All right, I raise a quarter.
- I'm out.
- I'm out.
I'm out.
[ Groans ] -

Homer,you want any cards? Homer.
! - [ Gagging ] [ Grunts ] Whoo.
Don't try to eat these so-called ''chips.
'' - Do you want another card or not? - Huh? Okay.
I'll take three.
D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! Uh, I mean, whoo-hoo.
I'm in.


Let's see your cards.
- Oh, I was bluffing.
- [ Laughs ] Come to papa! Wait a minute.
You have a straight flush, Homer.
G'oh! You do this every time, ya-- Oh, you-- [ Gagging ] Chokin' on my own rage, here.
- Hey, don't yell at Homer just 'cause he's a little slow.
- [ Gasps ] [ Thinking ] Something was said.
Not good.


What was it? ''Don't yell at Homer''! No, that's okay.
What was it? ''Slow.
'' They called you ''slow''! How dare you call me that? I-- Huh? Hey, Homer,you still here? Boy,you are slow.
- [ Gasps, Thinking ] Something said.
Not good.
- Get the hell out of here.

Dirk Richter was a beautiful man

Grab All Association

Yeah… well, I may not have a fancy black bathrobe and a hammer like Snooty, but I do have slippers and an oatmeal spoon. Look!

AndrewJRenko

Belle: "Are you wearing a grocery bag?"
Homer: "I have misplaced my pants"

Grab All Association

I wouldn’t take it down if I were you, it’s a load bearing poster

P.Walnuts

No deal McCutcheon, that Moon moneys mine!

Nerdkiller1991

Rawr

Ominous voice: They are all against you, Bart... You must kill them all... They all must die!

Bart: Are you my conscience?

Ominous voice: I— Yes! I am!

Hector Savage

But Mr. Hutz, your card says "FREE LEGAL AID! NO MONEY DOWN!"

Hutz: .. Oh they always screw this up.... it should read

"FREE LEGAL AID? - NO!,MONEY DOWN!"

Hector Savage

oops got it a bit wrong, but classic!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yuL6PcgSgM

Ulysses Gaze

But Marge, valets! For once maybe someone will call me "sir," without adding "you're making a scene."

Beanntraigheach

Wiggum: This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect driving a..... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, eh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless, repeat hatless.

pleas advice

Wiggum: "Dispatch, this is Chief Wiggum back in pursuit of the rebelling women"

dispatch: Alright, your current location?

Wiggum: "Ohh, Ahh, I'm eh, I'm on a road, eh, looks to be asphalt... Aw jeez, trees.. shrubs... Uh, I'm directly under the earth's sun.....now"

paddylonglegs

Wiggum from the helicopter: continue swimming naked. Ah come on, continue. Ah, open fire

Nerdkiller1991

Beanntraigheach wrote: »

Wiggum: This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect driving a..... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, eh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless, repeat hatless.

"I can't wait 'till they throw his hatless butt in jail."

Fanny Wank

Daybreak, Jakarta. The proud men and women of the Navy are protecting America's interests overseas, but you're in Lubbock, Texas hosing down a statue, because you're in the Naval Reserve. Once you complete basic training, you only work one weekend a month, and most of that time you're drunk off your ass. The Naval Reserve: America's 17th line of defense, between the Mississippi National Guard, and the American League of Women Voters.

badabing106

It's coming!

suicide_circus

Ow! Damn sandwich just took a bite outta me!

paddylonglegs

suicide_circus wrote: »

Ow! Damn sandwich just took a bite outta me!

Do we serve French......Fries?

AndrewJRenko

Lisa: Dad, women won't like being shot in the face.
Homer (in high-pitched patronising voice): Women will like what I tell them to like.

Beanntraigheach

Narrator: On May 21, 1864, the men of the 9th Bearded Infantry were sunning and fluffing their beards in the sun. Suddenly enemy troops crested that hill over there....

Confederate Soldier 1: Fort Springfield, we surrender unconditionally.
Confederate Soldier 2: We're sick, we need leeches, and hacksaws to saw off our gangrenous limbs.

Narrator: But the Springfield Brigade was too BRAVE to accept their surrender.*

Union Soldier: Come on boys! Those white flags are no mach for our muskets.
Union Officer: Charge!

Narrator: And the Springfielders heroically slaughtered their enemies as they prayed for mercy.

Schoolchildren: YAYYY!


(*I love the way he emphasises "brave" )

AndrewJRenko

Homer: I'm tired of fumbling with round fruit

ohnonotgmail

“Will you guys turn that thing down?”
“Sweetie, if we didn’t turn it down for the cops, what chance do you have?”

Beanntraigheach

I get me brain medicines from the nawtional 'elf.

Grab All Association

Skinner: Right or wrong, your behavior was still disruptive, young man! Perhaps spending the remainder of your life in a madhouse will teach you some manners.
Nelson: Ha Ha

RhubarbCrumble

"Flanders to God, Flanders to God. Get off your cloud and save my Todd"

Rawr

RhubarbCrumble wrote: »

"Flanders to God, Flanders to God. Get off your cloud and save my Todd"

Bart: [on radio] Rod!....Todd!.....This is God!

Rod: How did you get on the radio?

Bart: Whaddya mean, 'How did I get on the radio?' I created the universe!....Stupid kid.

[Rod and Todd quickly fall to their knees and clasp their hands.]
Todd: Forgive my brother. We believe you!

Bart: Talk is cheap. Here is a test of your faith. Walk through the wall; I will remove it for you!

[Rod makes the attempt and walks into the wall.]
Bart:....Later. [laughs]

Todd: What do you want from us?

Bart: I got a job for you. Bring forth all the cookies from your kitchen and leave them on the Simpsons' porch.

Rod: But those cookies belong to our parents!

Bart: [grumbles] Look, do you want a happy God or a vengeful God?

Todd: [quickly] Happy God!

Bart: Then quit flapping your lip and make with the cookies!

Rod and Todd: Yes, sir!

castletownman

Lisa: "Hi, I remember you from such film strips as 'Locker Room Towel Fight: The Blinding of Larry Driscoll'.

Troy McClure: "You know, I was one of the first to speak out against horse play"