Dental plan!

EagererBeaver

https://www.instagram.com/p/BW_5aSChNV2/

Benicetomonty

"Have the rolling stones killed."

Wise Old Elf

Awww, this isn't gonna be about Jesus is it?

Everything is about Jesus, Homer; except this.

Realt Dearg Sec

Slow down sir! You're going to give yourself skin failure.

wnolan1992

Wise Old Elf wrote: »

Awww, this isn't gonna be about Jesus is it?

Everything is about Jesus, Homer; except this.

Now Marge, you're going to hear a lot of talk about Bart working in a burlesque house...

P.Walnuts

"Marge get a hacksaw, call Interpol.....anything!"

Nerdkiller1991

Benicetomonty wrote: »

"Have the rolling stones killed."

"Oh sir, those aren't..."

Wise Old Elf

Nerdkiller1991 wrote: »

"Oh sir, those aren't..."

DO AS I SAY

Nerdkiller1991

Beanntraigheach

Man 1: Oh good Lord, there's a fly in my drink!
Homer: I put it there.
Man 1: You did?
Homer: I slipped it into your glass as a gag.
Man 1: Pure hilarity!
Woman: Pure Homer.
Man 2: I pronounce it to be the most whimsical jape of the season!
*refined laughter and applause*

HalloweenJack

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqtef0TGvVE

Realt Dearg Sec

Wife suggested going to a museum today, and I said "good things don't end with -eum, they end with -mania, or -teria."

My wife doesn't watch the Simpsons and was not amused.

Rawr

Bart: Ralph! I thought you were dead!

Ralph: Nope.

Dirty Dingus McGee

Father McGrath... I thought you were dead.
I was!

Dirty Dingus McGee

Squeaky voiced teen: If I had a girlfirend she'd kill me.



Which is a line I've often thought of using myself in real life.

Nerdkiller1991

Hmmm...

Ipso

Grandpa Simpson working at Krusty Burger.
"We're out of secret sauce."
Squeaky voiced teen: "Put the mayonnaise out in the sun"

paddylonglegs

Ipso wrote: »

Grandpa Simpson working at Krusty Burger.
"We're out of secret sauce."
Squeaky voiced teen: "Put the mayonnaise out in the sun"

Do we sell French.Fries?

ohnonotgmail

"Hey, Chief, can I hold my gun sideways? It looks so cool."
"Ah, sure. Whatever you want, birthday boy."

suicide_circus

Revenge? Of course! But why wound his body with bullets, when I can set his soul on fire with a slanderous mambo?

Marzipan85

Eduardo: You are now carrying my child.
Lisabella: But how?
Eduardo: It is the mystery of the dance.

Sin City

Prison warden : Children are our future
Homer : Unless we stop them now

wnolan1992

Hey Marge! We're going out, if we don't come back, avenge our deaths!

EagererBeaver

wnolan1992 wrote: »

Hey Marge! We're going out, if we don't come back, avenge our deaths!

Not back, avenge death.

Beanntraigheach

Hey, my threads, baby!

Sin City

Ralph :" Hi Principle Skinner, hi Supernintendo Chalmers"

Rawr

Thomas the Tank Engine: I'm going to die, children, and so will you someday


(I kid you not, it was in one of the more recent seasons too!)

wnolan1992

Rawr wrote: »

Thomas the Tank Engine: I'm going to die, children, and so will you someday


(I kid you not, it was in one of the more recent seasons too!)

The newer episodes have some really dark lines, and I love them for it. My favourite is from Homer:

"I'm in an abusive relationship with life, and I'm too much of a coward to leave it."

I mean, it's ostensibly a kids show, so damn. Still glorious though.

lazybones32

Marge: And all this time i thought "googling yourself" meant the other thing.

Nerdkiller1991