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Most vulgar thing you've ever heard a girl say?

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    #92
    buckshotbrolan
    Registered Users Posts: 124 ✭✭buckshotbrolan


    I was asked at a house party once if i would like to 'stir the porridge' by a girl my bud had f***ed earlyer that night!


    Cought me off gard so it did, so I declined her offer!


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    #93
    Banned Account
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,553 ✭✭✭Banned Account


    df1985 wrote: »
    was having a "happy meal" as i call it going down on a bird when she said "mmmmmmmmm yeah stick your fingers in my ass"

    I burst out laughing, kinda runied the moment!

    Is it just me or does anyone else think there is something terribly unfair about the fact that people who come up with names like "happy meal" for going down on someone, actually get to have sex?

    Boourns


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    #94
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    df1985 wrote: »
    was having a "happy meal" as i call it going down on a bird when she said "mmmmmmmmm yeah stick your fingers in my ass"

    I burst out laughing, kinda runied the moment!

    whats wrong with that?

    2 in the pink, 1 in the stink.


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    #95
    bossa_nova
    Closed Accounts Posts: 458 ✭✭bossa_nova


    Fitzcaraldo wrote: »
    Is it just me or does anyone else think there is something terribly unfair about the fact that people who come up with names like "happy meal" for going down on someone, actually get to have sex?

    Boourns

    and then laugh at a golden opportunity:eek:


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    #96
    LeahK
    Closed Accounts Posts: 335 ✭✭LeahK


    Gummy Panda wrote: »
    whats wrong with that?

    2 in the pink, 1 in the stink.

    2 in the goo, one in the poo :)

    Ive heard also (not directly,but through a reliable source)
    "Sorry the pitch is flooded but you can stick it up the sh!tty if you like"

    Also an old lady knacker type off her face on O'Connell street takin a wee
    "I'm doing me toilets on the stareeeet...doing me toilets on theee stareeet" even made a little song about it!:o


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    #97
    WindSock
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    I once over heard in a toilet one lady saying that the toilet paper was so rough that it ripped the crack off her like sandpaper.


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    #98
    denballs
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 837 ✭✭✭denballs


    if i lick your **** you better not **** in my mouth

    reply=.......what.....why the **** would you?


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    #99
    fullstop
    Registered Users Posts: 11,325 ✭✭✭✭fullstop


    Gummy Panda wrote: »
    whats wrong with that?

    2 in the pink, 1 in the stink.
    Like a bar I went to once, Liquor in the front, poker in the rear.


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    #100
    pearliefan
    Registered Users Posts: 337 ✭✭pearliefan


    'You can see he likes his bit of pussy'.

    Ah, I was shocked and then laughed! Just couldn't ever imagine her saying it...


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    #101
    Celly Smunt
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,464 ✭✭✭Celly Smunt


    denballs wrote: »
    if i lick your **** you better not **** in my mouth

    reply=.......what.....why the **** would you?
    wha?


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    #102
    Coriolanus
    Registered Users Posts: 4,879 ✭✭✭Coriolanus


    Spanish girl I know, when she first moved to Ireland, well, she must have overheard some of the more challenged denizens of Dublin talking.
    So, we're having drinks with a bunch of people and she's got that "crap I can't find my..." look on her face and she announces, "Sure amn't I only a bleedin' cúnt. I forgot my phone." in her raspy Spanish accent with just a twinge of Dub to it.


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    #103
    Din Taylor
    Closed Accounts Posts: 162 ✭✭Din Taylor


    Me and a frind pulled two Scouse girls in Tenerife. Brought them back to the apartment for some shenanigans. He got the bedroom and I got the balcony. I was about to go inside for a piss when my lovely lady said (imagine scouse accent) "Don't walk in on them mid-shag. If you wanna take a piss do it over the balcony or in my mouth."

    Won't say which option I took.;)


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    #104
    00112984
    Registered Users Posts: 1,600 ✭✭✭00112984


    "If I had a bag of fannies, I wouldn't give you one".


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    #105
    Herb Powell
    Registered Users Posts: 3,097 ✭✭✭Herb Powell


    "You're sooo gay, gaylord, you like boys. You fukk men in the ASS"
    she was very drunk and it was hilarious


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    #106
    ZANKOU
    Registered Users Posts: 30 ✭ZANKOU


    ahh come on... any hole is a goal..


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    #107
    jellybeans
    Registered Users Posts: 369 ✭✭jellybeans


    gulf wrote: »
    Something along the lines of "I was fooling around with my bf last night and I've been farting cum all morning..." Out and out slut.

    why does that make her a slut?


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    #108
    1united
    Registered Users Posts: 79 ✭✭1united


    mrsdoyle.jpg

    "Get Your Bollocks out of my face"


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    #109
    punchdrunk
    Registered Users Posts: 3,355 ✭✭✭punchdrunk


    overweight tracksuit wearing junkie on dame st to her junkie boyfriend she was fighting with...

    "Lick me Gee"

    it was a combination of the volume at which she shouted it,and her own physical volume that made it horrific,a mental Hiroshima if you will....


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    #110
    jellybeans
    Registered Users Posts: 369 ✭✭jellybeans


    magotch07 wrote: »
    in college this young lady fancied my mate....turn to him one nite at a social said she was dripping and asked him to pound the gee of her...he didnt but a few lads did

    I hope that's a joke :mad:


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    #111
    ascanbe
    Registered Users Posts: 3,089 ✭✭✭ascanbe


    1united wrote: »
    mrsdoyle.jpg

    "Get Your Bollocks out of my face"

    Ride me sideways was another one...


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    #112
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    OT but not totally unrelated: my favourite Boards username is now JaxxYChicK. Makes me smile every time I see it as it reminds me of "up the jacksie"... :pac::D


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    #113
    RonMexico
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,916 ✭✭✭RonMexico


    "Have you ever thought about marriage and children."


    Mouth like a New York sewer.


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    #114
    df1985
    Registered Users Posts: 4,432 ✭✭✭df1985


    Fitzcaraldo wrote: »
    Is it just me or does anyone else think there is something terribly unfair about the fact that people who come up with names like "happy meal" for going down on someone, actually get to have sex?

    Boourns

    meh.

    im happy, shes happy, whats the problem.:D


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    #115
    philboy
    Registered Users Posts: 375 ✭✭philboy


    Sorry Mate, my Koala bear is a bit messy... but ya can rip me up the ****ter if you like!


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    #116
    bonerm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,595 ✭✭✭bonerm


    Why do feel like half of what's written here is what blokes wish they'd heard some woman saying to them?

    Either that or I just associate with a better class of woman. :confused:


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    #117
    Skerries
    Registered Users Posts: 12,326 ✭✭✭✭Skerries


    what do the classy women you know say?
    "Would one like to populate my lady garden with some of his man fertiliser?"
    Untitled Image




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    #118
    shrewdness
    Registered Users Posts: 2,709 ✭✭✭shrewdness


    In college a few years ago, was out and went home with this girl, very nice looking, seemed to have a good personality and was good craic and all.

    When we got into her place she told me to go into the bedroom, vigorously scratched her crotch and said (her voice rising towards the end of the sentence), "Wait for me in there will ya, I'm dying for an ojous dirty PISS!"

    Fair enough, you don't have to fúcking announce it like!


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    #119
    epgc3fyqirnbsx
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,228 ✭✭✭epgc3fyqirnbsx


    Maybe my frineds are too nice. Worse I've heard is "I'm going home to clean my lady bottom cos ***** might be down there later"
    I got a semi


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    #120
    derra_121
    Registered Users Posts: 320 ✭✭derra_121


    In newcastle recently me and 2 mates were going up to random girls getting them to say "Take it out of my ass and stick it in my pussy" You'll be surprised at how many english girls you can get to say that once you say 33 and a 1/3


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    #121
    ya-ba-da-ba-doo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 884 ✭✭✭ya-ba-da-ba-doo


    A guy I knew from school was at a teenage disco a few years back.

    He was out the back of the disco gettin' the shift :).

    The girl he was kissing was from the rough part of town.

    He went to finger her and she pulled her knickers down a bit only for him to see brown stains on them! :O

    Obviously he's creeped out and she senses this.

    So she says to him - "What's wrong with ya ay? Never seen a bitta shíte before have ya not?"

    I'll never forget that story. :D


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