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Most vulgar thing you've ever heard a girl say?

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  • Registered Users Posts: 10,256 ✭✭✭✭Standard Toaster


    "ƒuckin crabs are killin' me"

    Nearly spat me pint out. Dirt


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,297 ✭✭✭Jaxxy


    "I'm off home to finger the box off meself."


  • Registered Users Posts: 420 ✭✭Diageio_Man


    this was actually said to me. ''If you dont come out with us tonight,i'm gona menstruate all over your face''. i nearly chocked with the laughter.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,817 ✭✭✭myflipflops


    xsiborg wrote: »
    when i was only about ten years of age and i went to use the bathroom, whereupon i discovered a full bath of nice, clean, warm, water. "brilliant" i thought to myself as i quickly took off my clothes and jumped in.

    just as i was leaning back in the bath...

    my mother walked in-


    "AHH JESUS YOU OULD FART OF A BASTARD!!!"



    i nearly jumped out of my unwashed skin, suffering from near heart failure at the same time! :eek:



    well, you try not to get excited at the sight of clean warm water after for so long having to be next in line in the same water after four of your brothers had just washed themselves in it and it came to your turn- fair mucky i tel ya! :o


    Which character from Angela's Ashes are you??


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,111 ✭✭✭Cypher_sounds


    'Its quicker to count the things that aint wrong with you than to count the things that are'


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  • Registered Users Posts: 5,776 ✭✭✭up for anything


    gulf wrote: »
    Something along the lines of "I was fooling around with my bf last night and I've been farting cum all morning..." Out and out slut.

    Who uses the phrase fooling around? No one that I have ever heard - in real life at any rate. :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,431 ✭✭✭Sky King


    Girl in an evening dress to another girl in an evening dress at a soirée [overheard].

    "I really need to evacuate my colon".


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,300 ✭✭✭nice1franko


    Upon walking into a fish market, "eww... smells like a sanitary bin in here"

    bllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarragh ;( sob sob


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 159 ✭✭Smallbit


    "Maaaaarie trow us over a tampax... ah gee!, and trow us a pad too, me gash is pumpin here"

    I was waiting for a free cubicle in Jervis ladies toilets on a busy Saturday :eek:

    I'm used to colorful language in my job, but that was just too much detail :mad:


  • Moderators, Education Moderators, Motoring & Transport Moderators Posts: 7,395 Mod ✭✭✭✭**Timbuk2**


    Any use of the phrase 'growler' or 'pissflaps'


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 483 ✭✭baltimore sun


    Girl: I don't do anal.......


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,168 ✭✭✭Wompa1


    I blew a Mexican and I've had the sh!ts for 3 days


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,588 ✭✭✭derfderf


    I can't cook.


  • Moderators, Computer Games Moderators Posts: 23,081 Mod ✭✭✭✭Kiith


    None of that fancy ****, just horse it into me.


  • Registered Users Posts: 455 ✭✭TheSegal


    'Jesus, my c*nt is fierce itchy!' Laughed my ass off for ages after that one!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    gulf wrote: »
    Something along the lines of "I was fooling around with my bf last night and I've been farting cum all morning..." Out and out slut.


    Out and out slut for having bum sex with her boyfriend? :eek:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,975 ✭✭✭W.Shakes-Beer


    "Aagh...me bleedin' gee is reefin'!"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,553 ✭✭✭Banned Account


    Father, is the snake in your trousers really like the one that lived in the garden of eden?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    A guy I knew in college said his friend had a one-night stand and in the touching post-coital moment of oneness was abruptly prodded and asked "do you want to do me up the arse now?".

    Hopefully it was true.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,538 ✭✭✭Duff


    She actually spoke using incorrect grammar? She is indeed a coarse wench.

    Word for word.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,811 ✭✭✭✭Slidey


    I was once told to ''paint my insides white''

    Durty wench!


  • Registered Users Posts: 428 ✭✭bigbadbear


    "It went all the way up my gowl and it was fúcking big!!"

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8C7ZTbsF-E


  • Registered Users Posts: 724 ✭✭✭jonsnow


    A girl once used a disgusting stomachturning C-word in a conversation with me.Commitment.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    I dont shock easily, but my friends cousin shocked me by saying "I heard shagging a girl who has had a kid is like fúcking a bag of liver". She is the cutest thing you'll ever see and to hear that coming out her mouth made me freeze on the spot.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,941 ✭✭✭thebigbiffo


    he was playin me like a double base for half the night


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    Kiith wrote: »
    None of that fancy ****, just horse it into me.

    "Oh... you're hurting me lovely!" :pac:


  • Registered Users Posts: 546 ✭✭✭clived2


    Who uses the phrase fooling around? No one that I have ever heard - in real life at any rate. :D

    I find it a powerful euphemism,

    "Mate, I was only fooling around with your sister"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    Back when teenagers. Lad goes off with 14-15 year old girl behind a building at night. We thought he was just kissing her. Turns out she decided to give him a blow job.

    A while later they come out from behind the building with her wiping off her mouth while saying "Its salty!" :eek:


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,234 ✭✭✭✭Birneybau


    Overheard on Talbot St:

    "He ate the ditch off me"


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  • Registered Users Posts: 2,728 ✭✭✭dilallio


    Lob it into me boss.


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