this is what the transition looks like when a boy becomes a girl

Links234

emily tree wrote: »

I just don't know where to start.

Hi Emily

one of the best places to start is with a support group, have a look at this and see if there's one close to you: http://www.teni.ie/Support

you can also try the support line: http://www.teni.ie/Contact%20Us

Take things in small steps and try not to get overwhelmed by everything

L.Jenkins

Hey Emily,
I just found a link that might be useful. http://www.transgender.org/transcend/ It may help you find support groups closer to home

Dubhghaill

Iwasfrozen wrote: »

Wait this is hurting my brain.

Shouldn't one say she was a hot guy? Because she is now a girl? But then saying she was a hot guy, dosen't make correct gramatical sense as she is feminine and guy is male.

But then she is now a girl so when you are talking about her past maybe you should say she....

*Head implodes*

I think the poster just meant she presented well as male(as this is how she would have been perceived walking down the street presenting as a male, obviously) and still looks hot presenting as she is now.

WantToBeRose

emily tree wrote: »

hey there...
So.. i randomly came across this thread while searching for photos of males becoming females because it's what i do when i'm especially depressed...

here's the scoop about me...
i'm a shy, 28 year old male who has known for at least the last 20 years, possibly longer, that i was not intended to be this way.

Once i hit puberty around the age of 12 things got especially confusing and the cross-dressing and all that stuff started happening.

I discovered the internet as a 15 year old and immediately created an identity for myself as a girl. I fooled a lot of people, many of whom became better friends to me than anyone i knew in real life. Obviously i have a conscience, and i hated hurting these people who were very close to me, so i confessed my "secret" and just wound up getting hurt by their obviously freaked out and betrayed reactions.

Ever since that moment i KNEW that i needed to be female, yet i did nothing about it. I haven't been able to talk to my mum or my family about it.. I have talked to friends that have come and gone through my life, but it's been mostly that, talk, and hoping for halloween to come faster and faster so that i can dress as a girl without anyone thinking i'm weird... (although the fact i've dressed as a girl 5 of the last 6 years probably has people thinking something's up by now...)

I don't have a lot of money, nor a giant support circle of friends. But the problem is this... i'm now 28 years old.. I've been regretting not making a decision on this 10 years ago... even 5 years ago... and i have this horrible fear of turning 30, looking at my reflection in this body and doing something very stupid.

I love life. I'm an artist, i love the world, and nature, and can find beauty in almost anything... except when i look in the mirror. I hate the man i've become. And my fear is that i will not be able to live with myself much longer.

I know i need to do something, but i also fear that too much time has passed me by, and that i should have made this decision when i looked like the young effeminite boy that i used to be (growng up people always mistook me for a girl)... not the man that i've now become.

I want to be a GIRL. or a woman. I don't want to look like a tranny. I want to be passable. I want to be happy with my reflection.

I don't know why i'm telling you all this. Maybe i need to reach out. I know i need to do something... I just don't know where to start.

help?

Hi Emily.

I know exactly where you are coming from. I have made friends online, but as a female. It lets me be myself when I can't be to my real life friends. My online ones are actually better. I'm 19, but it doesn't make a difference what age one is, the important thing is that you know who you are.

Only recently I have actually done something about my problem. I haven't told friends or family, but I have gone to my doctor. Now he couldn't really do much for me since he doesn't specialize in that category, but he did get me an appointment with a psyciatrist in dublin, who specialized in Gender Identity Disorder ( I hate how its called 'Disorder'). Anyway, the psyciatrist will probably have written to my doctor by now, and now i'm playing the waiting game, although I'll probably go my doctor soon and see whats going on.

What I want to tell you is, It is NEVER too late to anything about it. Think positive, I feel much better about myself now that I've saught out help. I'm actually excited about tranisioning. What you should do is go to your GP and tell them what you are feeling. At least its a start because transitioning is a very long journey, and the sooner you start it, the better!

I wish you all the luck in the world, we are all in this boat together.

Hope I have helped somehow.

Regards,

Rose.

deirdre_dub

Emily,

emily tree wrote: »

I don't have a lot of money, nor a giant support circle of friends. But the problem is this... i'm now 28 years old.. I've been regretting not making a decision on this 10 years ago... even 5 years ago... and i have this horrible fear of turning 30, looking at my reflection in this body and doing something very stupid. [...] I want to be a GIRL. or a woman. I don't want to look like a tranny. I want to be passable. I want to be happy with my reflection.

I started transition at age 40. I'm now presenting as female everywhere except at work, and even that is going to change shortly. I most certainly don't look like a tranny - I suspect the only thing that "gives me away" is my voice, and even then I suspect that people usually decide that I'm a woman with a deep voice rather than a man with large man-boobs!

It is never ever too late. I know someone in her 50s or maybe 60s who is going to get the operation.

This is something that I don't like about this thread - all the photos on this thread are of young trans people, who usually get astounding results, thereby perpetuating the dangerous myth that you have to be young to start transition. You don't.

I would encourage you to talk to someone who understands. There are trans support groups in Dublin, Cork, Galway, Limerick and Waterford - see http://www.teni.ie/Support for more information. I regularly go to the Dublin support group meeting, and it is just wonderful to speak with people in the same situation. Give it time, and I'm sure you will soon make wonderful, possibly life-long, friends.

Feel free to PM me with anything you would like to ask in private.

Take care,
Deirdre.

livlondon

I started transitioning when I was 31. Age it no factor really. When you gotta do it, you gotta do it.

Don't worry about 'passing' etc.. this is a problem that goes away when you are trying to battle everything else. It's a non-thing really, but please talk to a support group or your doctor.

Links234

This is a really beautiful video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIeuGdkIFao

L.Jenkins

Wow, hormones can work wonders!!!

WantToBeRose

Something I'd like to understand is what happens to the body hair a transwoman might have when she is transitioning from male to female?

Hair like, back, legs, feet, chest, stomach, etc.

I don't mean to make a picture of a hairy man, but I would like to know what happens.

Anyone that can answer my query, I'd be greatful

sunshineoh9

i've noticed FTMs have an even bigger change once they start T

Eebs

sunshineoh9 wrote: »

i've noticed FTMs have an even bigger change once they start T

Depends on the FTM.

I want to flippantly say 'Grow a beard and back hair in under a year! Testosterone' and be a bit silly about it but the truth is that some guys never get facial hair and do have trouble passing on T.

T is a lot more dramatic than estrogen as a hormone BUT everything in this comes down to genetics in the end. They aren't miracle drugs, they'll give you the effects you'd get naturally if you were cis and produced the hormone naturally.

Eebs

WantToBeRose wrote: »

Something I'd like to understand is what happens to the body hair a transwoman might have when she is transitioning from male to female?

Hair like, back, legs, feet, chest, stomach, etc.

I don't mean to make a picture of a hairy man, but I would like to know what happens.

Anyone that can answer my query, I'd be greatful

Certain effects from hormones are permenant.
Breasts don't go away, hair doesn't go away etc.

If you want hair to go you have to do what everyone does to get rid of it, shave, wax or laser.
Most transwomen I think go for laser if they can afford it as it's a bit more permanent.

deirdre_dub

WantToBeRose wrote: »

Something I'd like to understand is what happens to the body hair a transwoman might have when she is transitioning from male to female?

Hair like, back, legs, feet, chest, stomach, etc.

I don't mean to make a picture of a hairy man, but I would like to know what happens.

Anyone that can answer my query, I'd be greatful

In general, the hairs will get thinner and finer, but they won't go away.

But that's the general case - individual results vary widely!

Depending on where you are starting from, and what the effects of hormones are for you, you may need to consider something like laser or electrolysis. Personally I didn't wait to see what hormones did - I just went straight into laser, as I was so sick of my hairy body.

Laser and electrolysis are expensive and time-consuming. In theory you can get the Government to pay for it - but you have to find a registered hospital which will do it for you. The Government will not pay for you to get it done privately - you cannot even claim back the tax on the cost of private hair removal treatment!

sunshineoh9

Eebs wrote: »

Depends on the FTM.

I want to flippantly say 'Grow a beard and back hair in under a year! Testosterone' and be a bit silly about it but the truth is that some guys never get facial hair and do have trouble passing on T.

T is a lot more dramatic than estrogen as a hormone BUT everything in this comes down to genetics in the end. They aren't miracle drugs, they'll give you the effects you'd get naturally if you were cis and produced the hormone naturally.

i agree, there are so many things that can affect hormone therapy such as natural hormone development, size and body type, family genetics on either side, etc... the majority of larger guys are less likely to produce facial and body hair due to body fat producing more estrogen than a thin guy; and on the reverse too much body fat (as in morbidly obese) may cause a person to produce more testosterone.

the statement i made was a general observation, nothing more ^-^

Eebs

sunshineoh9 wrote: »

i agree, there are so many things that can affect hormone therapy such as natural hormone development, size and body type, family genetics on either side, etc... the majority of larger guys are less likely to produce facial and body hair due to body fat producing more estrogen than a thin guy; and on the reverse too much body fat (as in morbidly obese) may cause a person to produce more testosterone.

the statement i made was a general observation, nothing more ^-^

Well due to the nature of hormones (being a equilibrium) dosing on testosterone leads to high estrogen too. Extra T becomes E if it's not used.

So there are a lot of factors, not just fat distribution.

Links234

L.Jenkins

Love the new photo and I also love how some trans girls actually put some natural born women to shame when it comes to ones opinion of sexual attraction. Well most trans girls I've seen have been smoking hot.

For the older woman, here's a link. http://www.youtube.com/user/MeghansLife She's in her early 40s and looks incredible.

sunshineoh9

Eebs wrote: »

Well due to the nature of hormones (being a equilibrium) dosing on testosterone leads to high estrogen too. Extra T becomes E if it's not used.

So there are a lot of factors, not just fat distribution.

i agree, i was using an example

Links234

Links234

WantToBeRose

Links234 wrote: »

WOW! Now that is a transition gone well! If I turn out as good as she did, I'll be one happy lady

I know, I know...it's not the looks that matter. But it helps.

WantToBeRose

This evening I was sitting at the kitchen table with my mother, brother and a family friend.
My brother brought up the topic of the transsexual woman who appeared on "The Saturday Night Show" with Brendan O'Connor.

Rebecca de Havaland is her name, the first transsexual woman to have SRS in Ireland.

Anyway, My brother kept referring to her as "it" and sort of mocking her. My mother too said it was Strange, and they were all sort of laughing about the situation.

I was sitting there trying to defend Rebecca and the situation she went through and told my brother she wasn't an "it". They just laughed. I felt so crushed. Part of me wanted to shout at them that I was transsexual, and see would it be so funny if their son/brother was transsexual. But the most part just wanted to cry. I thought "I can never come out to them. Not knowing this is how they see a Transsexual."

I needed to share this with you all because well, I have no one else to share it with. Us women and men here have to face awful thoughts from other people. It's such a shame in this day and age.

Thank you for reading.

Rose.

L.Jenkins

Despite your families on opinions on transsexuals, it will take courage to continue on your path to be you. When the day comes to tell them, try to have an understanding family member with you. I don't exactly know where you are at in life, with school, college or work, but for yourself you will need support in place, like a place to stay if necessary.

That is what I am working towards at the moment with my new job and I have a date to tell my family, the 14th of January. So with what I have saved by then, I will need to look into accomadation just in case there reaction is unpleasant or they just need time to settle with the idea.

All I can say is, don't rush anything and find someone to talk to that is both understanding and supportive for yourself mainly. It will help and when the time comes you could have all the support you need in place even if it isn't from your family. Best of luck sweetie.

WantToBeRose

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

Despite your families on opinions on transsexuals, it will take courage to continue on your path to be you. When the day comes to tell them, try to have an understanding family member with you. I don't exactly know where you are at in life, with school, college or work, but for yourself you will need support in place, like a place to stay if necessary.

That is what I am working towards at the moment with my new job and I have a date to tell my family, the 14th of January. So with what I have saved by then, I will need to look into accomadation just in case there reaction is unpleasant or they just need time to settle with the idea.

All I can say is, don't rush anything and find someone to talk to that is both understanding and supportive for yourself mainly. It will help and when the time comes you could have all the support you need in place even if it isn't from your family. Best of luck sweetie.

Oh I'll definately have moved out before I tell them. I know their reaction would be negetive. My family is so small minded with these things.

As for where I am at the moment, I'm unemployed, living at home. I'm at home all the time. I'm trying to save my money for my transition. I'd love to move out and get a job, but then I feel I'd be loosing funds for transitioning if I do that.

Someone to talk to, well I have a friend who seems pretty open minded, and she is kind of motherly towards people. But I'm not that close to her, i barely see her and when i do theres always people around her. She's a very chatty person too so I never get a word in (lol) But in saying that, she is the only person in my life at the moment I feel I can tell. I don't have a best friend, but she seems the closet to one I'll get.

Thanks for your reply

L.Jenkins

I feel your pain hunny. Living at home with who I feel are close minded parents or likely to be incredibly upset with my revelation. As a student, you will be entitled to a medical card and this will be more the case if you are dependant and paying rent.

The expense of transition will be minimal for a time depending on whether you want ffs and the ultimate surgery. With a medical card, do expect a small bit of a wait. When you chose to start, go through your gp and when in college, be sure to make full use of the college counsellor as they are free for students. Possibly even join the lgbt society for support and friends. In time it will all work out for you. Just have strength, it will make for a better happier you regardless of who is or isn't in your life. I know I feel much better as a result of the steps I've taken so far.

WantToBeRose

ItsThatManAgain wrote: »

I feel your pain hunny. Living at home with who I feel are close minded parents or likely to be incredibly upset with my revelation. As a student, you will be entitled to a medical card and this will be more the case if you are dependant and paying rent.

The expense of transition will be minimal for a time depending on whether you want ffs and the ultimate surgery. With a medical card, do expect a small bit of a wait. When you chose to start, go through your gp and when in college, be sure to make full use of the college counsellor as they are free for students. Possibly even join the lgbt society for support and friends. In time it will all work out for you. Just have strength, it will make for a better happier you regardless of who is or isn't in your life. I know I feel much better as a result of the steps I've taken so far.

Oh I already have a medical card. Does it help alot in our situation? I'm not sure where Transsexuals stand with Irish laws. I'm not in college or anything, I was over a year ago but dropped out. I'm sure theres councelling services around though.

As regards surgery, well I know I'd be getting the SRS some time along the lines. And possibly Breast Augementation. With FFS i'll have to see what the hormones can do for me. I don't have a very masculine face anyway so I hope I won't need it.

I've already gone to my doctor about it. He did transfer me to a psycologist in Dublin who specialises in "GID" and has diagnosed me, so I've done that much. But I haven't heard anything since, and this was back in August. I might need to go back to my doctor.
I'm going to join some sort of Course i think, something to focus on and hopefully help me make new friends. The nearest Transsexual support group to me is in Galway, and I live in Mayo, but getting there is a hassle. Hopefully further into transition I'll be able to join a group, maybe live closer.
What steps have you taken so far if you don't mind me asking? It's such a long journey for us, each step is a step closer though

deirdre_dub

WantToBeRose wrote: »

I've already gone to my doctor about it. He did transfer me to a psycologist in Dublin who specialises in "GID" and has diagnosed me, so I've done that much. But I haven't heard anything since, and this was back in August.

It takes a few months between when the diagnosis is sent to Loughlinstown hospital and when you get your appointment date. Unfortunately Loughlinstown are terrible at answering the phone - if you don't hear anything from them soon, you may have to write to them, get your GP to write to them, or maybe even go and visit them.

WantToBeRose

deirdre_dub wrote: »

It takes a few months between when the diagnosis is sent to Loughlinstown hospital and when you get your appointment date. Unfortunately Loughlinstown are terrible at answering the phone - if you don't hear anything from them soon, you may have to write to them, get your GP to write to them, or maybe even go and visit them.

Oh where is Loughlinstown? I haven't heard of it before. I'm going to give it a little while longer and then go to be GP again, just in case i've been forgotten about. I live in a small town so my GP isn't really familiar with my diagnosis. Same for alot of GP's in this country, i'm guessing.

L.Jenkins

If you're concerned about your parents finding out before you are ready to tell them, have your GP to get all referrals sent to his office so you can pick them up. I choose this option because no mail for me gets past them without having to know and see what it is.

If you are looking for a referral to a specialist, get him to check out Dr. James Lucey in St. Pats Hospital Dublin. A referral to local Psychiatric services can be of great benefit to you too. As for Dr. Kelly (Psychologist and not covered by the medical card ) you will have to make appointments to see him yourself.

deirdre_dub

WantToBeRose wrote: »

Oh where is Loughlinstown? I haven't heard of it before. I'm going to give it a little while longer and then go to be GP again, just in case i've been forgotten about. I live in a small town so my GP isn't really familiar with my diagnosis. Same for alot of GP's in this country, i'm guessing.

St. Columcille's Hospital in Loughlinstown, south county Dublin, is where the country's main (only?) gender clinic is held. Dr. O'Shea in the Endocrine unit is the main man.