Those 'Oh God, I'm an Idiot' moments.

up for anything

Years ago I was renting a bedsit when I got an offer to share a really nice house. The only way I could get out of my lease was if the letting agency could find someone else to take it. Everybody that came to see it got my guided tour talking it up. One day this guy came to see it and I finished off my spiel saving the best for last - the fact that you could climb out the window onto the flat roof and sunbath without anyone overlooking you. He looked at me strangely and said, "I don't think I need a tan, love." He was black and I was red.

uncleoswald

--LOS-- wrote: »

Ok I know I'm dragging this up but wtf?? You took the fail? seriously?

It was going to be a half-arsed hungover presentation anyway that didn't have a big mark attached and was passing regardless. Also, been the insecure type, in my head I had built up the ridicule I was going to receive so much I imagined I was just going to be standing there as everyone including the lecturer just pointed and laughed at my odd shoes for 30 min.

Yesterday I made myself a cup of coffee that was mostly milk with a drop of boiling water. I had gone to the kitchen to make a cup of tea....

Awhile ago I finished an awkward conversation with my boss by blurting out "Hello!" as I walked away.

I feel like Rainman without the smarts.

Nulty

yesterday at dinner i squeezed ketchup in my glass....i was waiting for someone to put milk in it and my mind wandered

alwaysadub

I was out in the pub a while back, wearing a t shirt that has the number 67 on the front of it. One of the lads at our table(which was packed), looked at me and said "ya know, if you add 2 to that, you've a great number". I looked down at the number, stared at him for a few seconds and said....
" 672-whats so good about that"??
The whole table just fell around the place laughing while i was left sitting there wondering what i'd said wrong. I eventually copped it:o

Fago!

mail4liam wrote: »

I mean, how could you walk the opposite way along Pearse Street and realise an hour later you were going the wrong way ? Pearse Street is only a 15 minute walk to the center of Dublin City... you must be off the wall?

Honest! I wasn't paying attention! I was listening to podcasts!

you must be off the wall?

You've never met me have you!? :P

AAAAAAAHHH

Rozabeez wrote: »

OMG! Dropped my toothpaste into the toilet in the hospital this morning... forgot about that one.

I find the worst is when you do something stupid, like walk the wrong direction or in the wrong door, but you've gone too far to just switch and back out that you kind of have to keep it up and look like you were meant to do whatever it was.

I've a feeling that post made very little sense.

I've a feeling you knew halfway through that post that it wasn't going to make sense, but you had to contine on.

Oo..

gaz wac wrote: »

* btw i dont look at redtube, it was for a college project !

sure....thats always the excuse :)

_feedback_

DKZ wrote: »

In school, walked into the toilet and went into the cubicle. Suddenly, I hear a big group of girls coming in. I'm in the girl's bathroom, without realising (I'm male). D'oh! Had to sit there for 30 minutes until the coast was clear..

Done something similar myself. Was on the piss in London - in a chinese restaurant for a bit of food. Went to the toilets M & F on the doors. Of course I went straight in to the F one - in the cubicle and hear girls come in.

I then realise - of course M& F doesn't stand for "Mna & Fir" in London.

Dope !

gmonov1

god theres some funny posts here.

i often listen to music on my computer in work and absent mindedly get up to walk away without taking off my headphones. get about 2 foot away and nearly break my neck getting yanked backwards!!

another time in the canteen making a cup of tea and yapping away to someone, kettles just about to boil so i take the box of teabags out of the cupboard, and pour the water into the box while stirring the cup
the girl i was talking to was lookin at me like i was having a breakdown or something

upandcumming

Blushingblue wrote: »

I always do that, or I put the butter in the sink and knife in the fridge. I only really notice it when someone says something afterwards!

I always put the cereal in the fridge!

sierra117x

was sending a bunch of papers by fax today . slapped myself in the head and thought "should have stapppled these so they'l all come out together and wont get lost" went to get a stapler before i realised my idiocy.......

cypharius

I keep handing my library card to the worker instead of my loyalty card when I'm buying something in "Game". It happens in other shops too, sooo embaressing.

XarcherX

and i thought i was the only one

sitting down engrossed in a movie, phone rings, i answer the remote... and keep staring at it wondering why it's still ringing..

another time i was at a friends grandmothers funeral going around the funeral home commiserating with the family, my friend stuck her hand out to shake mine with teary eyes, i grabbed it and said a hearty "Thanks"... felt fairly ashamed after that one..
think all the tension in the F.Home made me nervous!!

riskyOz

Looking for your mobile phone in the dark with the light from your phone and not realizing your actually holding it?

KevinVonSpiel

Searching for; my keys - check, my wallet - check, my Nokia? WHERE IS IT?

Oh, yeah, I'm speaking to someone on it right now.

Makings of a legend thread here.

KevinVonSpiel

Oh, yeah, special variant of 'not remembering when you enter a room what you came in for' is: trying to remember what it is that you came in for, staring directly in front of you, then remembering that you came in for the object that you've been staring at while trying to remember what you came in to get.

Dull and Boring

Trying to figure out why my ipod wasn't working and realising it's because I didn't have the earphones in my ears!

....done that a few times!:p

Bob Z

karlm37 wrote: »

Don't know how many times I've been having a smoke, my phone rings, I take the phone outta my pocket, put the smoke in my ear and say 'Hello'!!:o

I hope nobody phones you when your doing the ironing

kiwi123

Sitting in the canteen and one of the girls starts telling us about her weekend and mentions something about spending all of it drinking and how she wouldn't be surprised if her liver failed, to which i replied ah sure good thing you have two of them so. Still haven'y lived that one down.

Another time one of my friends started off this story about going shopping with her sister and in the middle of it turned around and said oh wait i haven't got a sister. We were like how can you possibly make that mistake?!

Twilightning

Went down below on a woman I was seeing at the time and said without thinking, "What's that smell?" I cringed at that moment realizing what I just said knowing I'd never hear the end of it. I didn't!

WIZE

I was playing a football match when I was a kid and had a bit of banter with the opposing defender

Defender : Your as thick as **** . Whats your IQ

Me : 20/ 20 Vision

Defender : See I told you

Me :

Odaise Gaelach

When I was (not too) young, I was in the car with my dad who was listening to a CD.

"Who's this?" I asked.
"Pink Floyd."
"What's her real name?"


One time I was in a physics quiz in my college. We were in teams, like University Challenge. So the place was packed with physics students. I was the only person in my team that had studied the subject, and I'd already dropped it at that point. But we got asked:

"Question 2: How many coulombs of electric charge are there in an electron?"
"...One?"

xoixo

When my friend said someone she knew had a siamese cat, to which I replied 'they're joined together?!' absolutely shocked.

Took about 2 or 3 seconds of laughter before I hung my head in shame.

squalshy

For some background when I was a teenager I lived on a busy street in a corner house where the side of the house was into an alley way. Anyhow we'd regularly have graffiti on the side wall of the house which was in the alley.
My dad painted the wall on Saturday one weekend and the following Monday came home from work about 7.30 PM and came in the door roaring about those b0ll0x's having scrawled all over the side wall again.
I was sitting in the kitchen with the back door open and innocently commented "I didn't even hear them" to which I got a sharp glare and the retort " What do you think they were writing with, a hammer and f'ing chisel"..................................

gaz wac

For the last two weeks or so the heating upstairs has been broken, tried bleeding the rads, looking aimlessly at the boiler, turning it on and off...but no luck. " Just call plumber and get it sorted" she said... he walks into the bedroom and turns the thermostat ' on '

sbsquarepants

Got one of those coffee machines that you can set a timer on so you have a nice cup of coffee first thing in the morning. First and only time to use this feature and i wake up like a kid at christmas, like i've never before had a cup of coffee in the morning, stick my cup under and press the button and recieve a steaming hot cup of.....water. I'd forgotten to put the coffee in the machine!
Ended up throwing a tea bag in it:(

Krusader

Working in the stores on a building site, one lad was deaf and he came up to the counter, obviously in a hurry to get something and he was jestering with his hands up around the side of his head and I don't know for the life of me why I pulled out a pair of ear muffs and handed them to him. He went berserk mumbling at me and I pissed meself laughing after relising what I'd done

recylingbin

I didn't learn english from Friends and, as such, have never said 'oh my god'.

we'llallhavetea_old

recylingbin wrote: »

I didn't learn english from Friends and, as such, have never said 'oh my god'.

the title isn't "oh my god"

NothingMan

Crosáidí wrote: »

Working in the stores on a building site, one lad was deaf.

:eek: That's got to be dangerous! What if something falls and he can't hear a warning shout.