Bipolar Disorder ask a question/discussion thread

LegacyUser

You seem objective enough nesf, when it comes to describing your bipolar disorder. As somebody who suffers from unipolar depression, I'd like to find out what you think of this fleeting thought that i have:

- depressive disorders can be caused in part from an attempt during youth/ adolescence to eliminate negative emotion from your mind as much as possible. I feel that when i was growing up i had a low tolerance for mildly depressing thoughts (eg. the inevitability of death and the pointlessness of life...as well as teenage things like how acne made me unattractive... and unrelated mildly obsessive thoughts) and so i supressed these thoughts as much as i could and forced myself to not mind the fact that i would one day die or to become numb to the fact that i was unnatractive. i actually think that depression can result from a self-imposed gradual numbing of the emotions to save oneself from negative emotion and to make oneself feel safer.... but this eventually backfires when it becomes extremely difficult or impossible to will oneself back to a state of un-numbed emotions. Does this make any sense to you?

LegacyUser

..they were the image verification words!!

nesf

fvbskjbvfklm wrote: »

You seem objective enough nesf, when it comes to describing your bipolar disorder. As somebody who suffers from unipolar depression, I'd like to find out what you think of this fleeting thought that i have:

- depressive disorders can be caused in part from an attempt during youth/ adolescence to eliminate negative emotion from your mind as much as possible. I feel that when i was growing up i had a low tolerance for mildly depressing thoughts (eg. the inevitability of death and the pointlessness of life...as well as teenage things like how acne made me unattractive... and unrelated mildly obsessive thoughts) and so i supressed these thoughts as much as i could and forced myself to not mind the fact that i would one day die or to become numb to the fact that i was unnatractive. i actually think that depression can result from a self-imposed gradual numbing of the emotions to save oneself from negative emotion and to make oneself feel safer.... but this eventually backfires when it becomes extremely difficult or impossible to will oneself back to a state of un-numbed emotions. Does this make any sense to you?

No, not really. But my thinking was distorted from a very young age due (most likely) to bipolar and I didn't gain objectivity and understanding that my thinking wasn't clear and untainted by illness until much, much later in my mid-20s. I went through 15 years of varying levels of distorted thinking, moods and concentration until I copped onto it.

What I'd caution is that it's extremely hard to disentangle what was real and what was part of the illness. i.e. I used to think I made myself worse by dwelling on negative incidents when in reality dwelling on negative incidents is merely a symptom of depression similar to low mood or loss of interest in things and I was already depressed when I began to dwell overly on stuff.

nesf

Sleep is really ****ed up at the moment. Slept 8am to 9.30pm last "night." Feeling **** because of it.

nesf

Just slept 15 hours. New record for recent years (did a longer sleep 8-9 years ago I think but am not 100%).

All I can say is bleh.

nesf

Sleep ****ed, been living in 36 hour cycles. Had gastro-enteritis and a sinus/ear infection all week which has been driving me mad.

Not q good or easy week the last week.

neelyohara

Sorry to hear you're feeling crap at the moment Nesf. I'm not too bad right now but for the last three days I'm finding mine are getting a little more out of whack. I'm thinking that I might stay up all night and try to get my cycle back into some normality.

How do people cope when their sleep patterns get screwed up? Be it too much or too little sleep?

I've gone to work on many occasions without getting so much as a wink of sleep. It's awful. It's like having an out of body experience all day. It must register on my face because I woman once doubled back on her jog because she thought I was suicidal (I wasn't).

When it comes to sleeping to much I can drag myself out of bed, into work and function. I'll knock back coffee until lunchtime when I'll sleep in my car and then crawl back into bed when I get home.

I've used sleeping tablets in the past (4/5 years ago) but for whatever reason both my GP & Psychs look at me as though I've asked them for crack. I'm the last person who would want to take a sleeping pill if she could avoid it - plus in my experience by the time I'd realise I need to take one it's already the early hours of the morning!

nesf

I don't cope at all to be honest about it I just grin and bear it. It's something I've zero control over and it's something that precludes me from working a normal job. At this stage, having suffered from it my entire adult life, I'm just looking at ways to work that can co-exist with a crazy sleep schedule (although combining this with depressions that can last months on a regular basis is almost impossible).

neelyohara

Do you mind if I ask what you do?

Most of the people I know with BP I either don't work or are incredibly lucky to have jobs that allow them the freedom of not needing to clock in and out on a regular basis (in particular an artist, a writer and a web designer).

My aunt is a nurse and happily works 12 hour shifts over several days and then in turn has a number of days 'off'. I have no idea how she does this... I would climb the walls if it were me! Travel, late nights, stress.. anything and everything seems to knock my sleep out of whack.

nesf

neelyohara wrote: »

Do you mind if I ask what you do?

Most of the people I know with BP I either don't work or are incredibly lucky to have jobs that allow them the freedom of not needing to clock in and out on a regular basis (in particular an artist, a writer and a web designer).

My aunt is a nurse and happily works 12 hour shifts over several days and then in turn has a number of days 'off'. I have no idea how she does this... I would climb the walls if it were me! Travel, late nights, stress.. anything and everything seems to knock my sleep out of whack.

I work for my father's company handling the accounts and tech side of things. Can work on whatever schedule I like because I handle back-office stuff. Have to work to deadlines but that isn't that bad.

Writing is something I'm taking a serious look at. It would suit my screwed up sleep schedule.

nesf

Stable sleep phase for about a week, over the past two days sleep has advanced to 6am and might continue advancing. Bah.

Elevelyn

Hi all and thank you for making this thread.

My mother is bipolar, her manic episodes last for months, nobody cares really anymore as it happens every year, and everyone including myself avoids her like the plague when she is manic. As im sure alot of you already know people can be very mean and angry when ill like this.

She is in and out of hospital all the time when she's sick, they are so used to her now I feel they just let her do whatever she likes e.g. they let her into shopping centers when they know she will steal, and let her home for the weekend knowing that she could really hurt herself.

Its when she is low that I find it really hard to cope with. She finds it so difficult to cope with the destruction she has caused when she is high that I have to come and feed her, make sure she gets out of bed, talk to her and reassure her etc... Last year I was so worried i got her admitted into hospital for over a month where she ended up going slightly manic again! Thankfully it didn't last long that time. Her house is a joke, its in a rough area and she has no money at all, people are constantly breaking in, knocking and banging her door in the middle of the night, also breaking windows and vandilising it, the council wont do anything and her social worker says that she wont do anything about it. She also has emphysema and finds it very difficult to get around.

I am the only real support for her as my parents had a messy divorce and my older siblings are sick of her illness really and haven't lived around her since they were teens (all in 30's now). I don't agree with it but I can't force them to change how they feel. I am the only one who lives kinda close to her since my little sister went into my older sisters custody last summer.

I know she is becoming manic and that it will last for months. I have just gotten a new job and in the past have always felt like i had to stop my life to help her (never really went to school, always have to leave work etc) as nobody else will help and I am very frightened that I will end up with nothing in the end. I love my mother more than anything but really don't know how to go through this again so soon after last time.

Sorry for the long post but any advice would be greatly appreciated

nesf

Um, so yeah...

Been diagnosed with schizophrenia not bipolar....

Eh... Um, I suppose my contributions to this thread were a tad deluded.

flyswatter

nesf wrote: »

Um, so yeah...

Been diagnosed with schizophrenia not bipolar....

Eh... Um, I suppose my contributions to this thread were a tad deluded.

There's a thread here on that illness here:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056106611


It's not too active to be honest, I might post an update in it soon. Would be good to get your contributions in it.

I can understand the change of diagnosis experience. I had a different diagnosis initially.

All the best.

neelyohara

nesf wrote: »

Um, so yeah...

Been diagnosed with schizophrenia not bipolar....

Eh... Um, I suppose my contributions to this thread were a tad deluded.

I know it's wrong... but that gave me a good giggle!

Kinda the wrong thread but is mania (in the sense of energy/sleep disturbance) a feature of schizophrenia?

It's... mh, 12 years since I started seeing a psychiatrist and I had a review with the head of the outpatients department last week... he was talking about discharging me back to the care of my GP.

First thought... 'awesome!' Second thought... 'hold on a minute, if I go to my GP I'll have to pay for all these nice little pills I'm prescribed' (I don't think it's the case for everyone but as an outpatient my drugs are all free. Don't know why but I don't question it! Spoke to my chemist today and they said I'd expect to pay the full €120 for my script.. but big woop 'the prices have come down significantly...').

I'm trying to ignore all thoughts related to safety nets, identity, blah, blah, blah.

Aside from that everything seems to be good. Aside from some minor sleep problems when I last posted everything appears to be going well.

Thank jebus for the longer evenings!

nesf

neelyohara wrote: »

I know it's wrong... but that gave me a good giggle!

Kinda the wrong thread but is mania (in the sense of energy/sleep disturbance) a feature of schizophrenia?

Sleep disturbance is very common. Energy levels can vary a lot due to varying levels of motivation. You can have mood swings in schizophrenia they just won't be as severe as they would be for a straight bipolar person. Though with schizoaffective disorder you have both worlds with the psychosis and the full manias and depressions.

PIOP

Wow nesf - how are you coping with the new diagnosis? Will it lead to a change in meds for you? I hope it means they can tailor your treatment a bit better, and then have you feeling better too.

blue5000

Hi nesf, hope a correct diagnosis is a big help to you. Keep in touch with us will you? Living with any mental illness is hard so the correct diagnosis may not change life in a big way for you, I hope you'll be ok.:)

neelyohara

Obviously not your first reaction but I think it's great that they have come around to a new diagnosis. It might well just be the final piece of the jigsaw and once you start treating the real problem everything else may start to fall into place. Over simplified but you know what I mean!

How do you feel about the new diagnosis? Schizophrenia can be a scary word and I think that while we ourselves understand that it's a complex disorder with a wide spectrum it nevertheless throws up immediate stereotypes and connotations.

I hope you don't abandon the thread!!!

Fight_Night

Ok apologies because I haven't read all of the thread and its probably been asked before, but where do I go to get diagnosed with bipolar. I have all the symptoms and I need help. I'm going to a counselor/psychiatrist at the moment because of a suicide attempt, I've only been once so far but is she able to diagnose me? Oh would my age(16) make them hesitate to diagnose me with anything other than depression?

Also for those who have it, did you always know you had it? I had some of the symptoms for most of my life but its only in the last two months really that it's gotten bad.

nesf

Fight_Night wrote: »

Ok apologies because I haven't read all of the thread and its probably been asked before, but where do I go to get diagnosed with bipolar. I have all the symptoms and I need help. I'm going to a counselor/psychiatrist at the moment because of a suicide attempt, I've only been once so far but is she able to diagnose me? Oh would my age(16) make them hesitate to diagnose me with anything other than depression?

Also for those who have it, did you always know you had it? I had some of the symptoms for most of my life but its only in the last two months really that it's gotten bad.

Big difference between a psychiatrist and a counselor. The former will be able to help you with diagnosis, the latter won't be able to help you. Though they may offer an opinion they do not have the training to diagnose.

If you're very worried about it, have a chat with your GP or try to get an appointment quickly enough with you Psychiatrist.

Fight_Night

nesf wrote: »

Big difference between a psychiatrist and a counselor. The former will be able to help you with diagnosis, the latter won't be able to help you. Though they may offer an opinion they do not have the training to diagnose.

If you're very worried about it, have a chat with your GP or try to get an appointment quickly enough with you Psychiatrist.

Yeah just checked with my mom and it was actually a psychologist that I was with last week. I think this week there will be a psychiatrist there too so hopefully something will happen.

nesf

Fight_Night wrote: »

Yeah just checked with my mom and it was actually a psychologist that I was with last week. I think this week there will be a psychiatrist there too so hopefully something will happen.

Best of luck with it.

Bipolarised

hello all, long time sufferer first time talker.
i got diagnosed with bipolar over 5 years ago and im still coming to terms
with it iam a proud man with two young kids and wife and basical have been concealing and hiding the mess going on inside my head since my early to mid teens,i went thru what now seems to be "normal" bipolar behaviour lots of drink, drugs, bad company, good company told to go away
and basically bordering suicidal behaviour all other times.
Turns out over the last 5 years that its "Mixed state Bipolar" i got which is pretty dark and messed up with no clean ups and downs,sometimes when i think im on top of it it just blows me out of the water just last night i had a complete melt down which i know had been in the post for months,
so i guess stay chewing the olanzapine,epilim and a little bit of prozac for good measure!:eek:
Its great to see this been talked about here.
Has anyone ever seen bipolar to just ease or go away...anyone with similar thoughts?

neelyohara

Bipolarised wrote: »

Has anyone ever seen bipolar to just ease or go away...anyone with similar thoughts?

I'm not sure what you mean by ease or go away. It doesn't clear up like a cold or go into remission but by actively taking care of yourself you can minimize the disruption that it can cause in your life.

Bipolar is also a spectrum... it's not as simple as ticking a box. It can range from being so mild that it causes little or no problems for a person right through to someone who may require repeat hospitalizations throughout the course of their lives.

I've known people who have suffered in the past but when they get to grips with the illness, start taking care of themselves and actively paying close attention to their moods and energy it has transformed their lives. A close network of supportive friends and/or family also pay dividends

Bipolarised

Thanks for your thoughts nellyohara,believe me when i say i know this is not like a cold and on a scale of 1to10,10 been in prison or an institute and alienating yourself from everyone you know and love i guess ive been knocking about 7 or 8 when unbalanced and 4 or 5 all other times but in hell coz of things i said or did while at 7 /8,
i heard of people saying that bipolar can be helped with bio-energy healing,yoga etc,but if you still have to keep taking the meds wots the point:eek:

whiteonion

Why can't bipolar people behave like normal people without taking any drugs? How much of your weird behaviour when your off the drugs do you think comes from your bipolarism and how much is just due to withdrawal sympoms from the drugs you are taking? Also are you not worried about the long term negative effects these drugs might have?

starviewadams

Define ''normal''.

sam34

whiteonion, back off. i've seen other posts of yours on this forum and other fora and its quite clear whsat your attitude to mental illness and psych meds is.

this is not the forum to push that agenda, nor to challenge those who post here into explaining themselves to you.

this is a forum with a supportive ethos for those with illness.

if you cant be of support, then dont post here.

LegacyUser

Hi, sorry for bumping and oldish thread but it seemed like the best place for my question, I'm sorry if this post comes across hurtful or insulting to other suffers i don't mean it to, i'm genuinely just looking for insight:

I have a friend who was recently diagnosed as bipolar(which i'd started to suspected due to her increasingly irrational behaviour) and to be honest the relationship is becoming unbearable, i'd hate to lose her as a friend but at the same time i have to look out for my own well being too.

It's mainly her anger issues and selfishness which have become the problem there are some days (which are becoming more and more frequent) where she will argue over anything even the most innocuous comment. I just don't know how to handle it anymore tbh. It seems the more you try to be rational and make her see reason the more it fuels the argument to the point where it just either literally turns into her firing personal insults (completely irrelevant to the argument) or her basically telling you she's amazing and you're *insert insult*. It just seems to be her starting arguments just because she wants to argue rather than her actually having an actual issue with anything?

Also she seems to be becoming increasingly selfish she'll abandon plans (or threaten to) at the very last minute and if you dare to question her about why well ... queue argument. I can't discuss anything anymore with her because she's become so self absorbed that every conversation has to revolve around her problems or she's just not interested or gets angry. I know her diagnosis may have come as a shock to her but i don't understand why she's taking her anger out on those around her? I just can't seem to say or do anything right? I just want my old friend back

Can anyone who suffers with bipolar give me an insight into this? Is there anything i can do to stop these arguments, make her see that she's blowing something out of all proportion? It just all seems so irrational and trying to make her see reason makes things worse? What can i say or do to pacify her? Also i usually let these arguments slide because the next day it's as if in her mind they've never even happened?! I'm afraid that if i bring them up again it'll just start another argument? But honestly i'm owed a million apologies and i'd like just one at this stage, if only to make her take some responsibility for her actions
My biggest concern however is that she doesn't even realise how selfish and hurtful she can be? or is that just part and parcel of having bipolar disorder?