Why do men do it?

Orlaithc9

This is probably in the wrong section but I figured if I need answers the good people in After Hours are the ones to ask.

So...theres a guy in work I get on with very well. We are both in our mid - late 20s. We work very well together and have a laugh. Hes married by the way so anything more than that is a no no plus Im in a very loving committed relationship myself.

However, he stares at my chest alot...Its not all the time but its quite frequently. It goes to the point where I know hes doing it and I look up and catch him and he knows I catch him and he quickly removes his eyes and looks away and theres like a milli-moment of silence before we start talking again. But its really embarrassing for both me and him.

Ive noted not to wearing clingy tops and low cut stuff and he still does it.

Seriously, what do I do? I mean do I just say it to him or make a joke outta it or ask him nicely to stop?
Ok its nice to be admired or feel a suggestion that someone might like the shape of my body or my looks but this is a bit...i dunno...uncomfortable.

Can you tell me whats going on in his head, I mean he has a wife with a pair of her own? Why look at mine? Why put us both in the situation of being really embarrassed?

robbie_998

He's a man.

Also PICS OR GTFO !!!

Sean Quagmire

Its difficult to say without seeing some sort of photographic evidence

oeb

He does it because you have boobs, and we like looking at boobs.

maddogcollins

Tell him to "take a picture, it will last longer"..that will embarass him and get your point across

TheZohanS

Orlaithc9 wrote: »

Why look at mine? Why put us both in the situation of being really embarrassed?

Because they're there.


/edit boobs are to men what shoes are to women, nice to look at and if they're exceptional we wonder "Where did you get them?"

robbie_998

But of course they all have lovely boobs... :rolleyes:

maddogcollins wrote: »

Tell him to "take a picture, it will last longer"..that will embarass him and get your point across

That could lead to something else there

oeb

maddogcollins wrote: »

Tell him to "take a picture, it will last longer"..that will embarass him and get your point across

And on the plus side, he also gets a picture of boobs, so that will keep him happy.

PirateShampoo

maddogcollins wrote: »

Tell him to "take a picture, it will last longer"..that will embarass him and get your point across

Then tell him to post it on here.

Orlaithc9

maybe I should start staring at his crotch just because its there?

SonOfPerdition

Orlaithc9 wrote: »

Can you tell me whats going on in his head, I mean he has a wife with a pair of her own? Why look at mine? Why put us both in the situation of being really embarrassed?

he's might bethinking to himself "my wifes boobies are way nicer than them ugly thingies, lucky me!"

Fratton Fred

phew, I see you are in Waterford....that means you're not talking about me :pac:

Doc

I think the only way any of us can make a fair judgement on this is if you show us your breasts.

Ickle Magoo

Most straight men like breasts, period - I don't think the fact they are not on their wife/partners chest stands in the way of their appreciation.

If the guy is creeping you out then say that to him and hope he learns to be a bit more discreet, if he is making you feel really, really uncomfortable & you don't care if he gets into trouble then you could speak to HR, or you can try to avoid the guy altogether - perhaps a warning & less friendliness would get the message across?

Col200sx

Yep, we're men, we fart, belch, scratch, and stare at boobs:D

stovelid

Eat a bucket of lard every day until your overall weight increases to the point where your breasts are indistinguishable from the rest of your body.

MagicMarker

Why is this embarrassing?

Turd Ferguson

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBIES

WindSock

If you get on well enough mention it to him in a jokey way next time he does it. It will break the ice and aknowledge that you notice it. If he keeps doing it, then let him know it makes you a bit uncomfortable. Some guys are just obsessed. They need to learn their obsessions shouldn't spill over to making others around them feel awkward.

Orlaithc9

MagicMarker wrote: »

Why is this embarrassing?

Its embarrassing because theyre my bits...and for him to be looking at them makes me think that hes thinking funny maybe sexual things about me. Thats uncomfortable when we are in a work situation and things are ment to be professional
Hope that makes sense?

Dovers

There mightn't be anything in it he might be just thinking something along the lines of "jaysus that's some rack". Same way ya might look at someone with a big head

I wouldn't worry about it

KTRIC

Aren't boobies great

CrazyRabbit

Orlaithc9 wrote: »

This is probably in the wrong section but I figured if I need answers the good people in After Hours are the ones to ask.

So...theres a guy in work I get on with very well. We are both in our mid - late 20s. We work very well together and have a laugh. Hes married by the way so anything more than that is a no no plus Im in a very loving committed relationship myself.

However, he stares at my chest alot...Its not all the time but its quite frequently. It goes to the point where I know hes doing it and I look up and catch him and he knows I catch him and he quickly removes his eyes and looks away and theres like a milli-moment of silence before we start talking again. But its really embarrassing for both me and him.

Ive noted not to wearing clingy tops and low cut stuff and he still does it.

Seriously, what do I do? I mean do I just say it to him or make a joke outta it or ask him nicely to stop?
Ok its nice to be admired or feel a suggestion that someone might like the shape of my body or my looks but this is a bit...i dunno...uncomfortable.

Can you tell me whats going on in his head, I mean he has a wife with a pair of her own? Why look at mine? Why put us both in the situation of being really embarrassed?

I'm sorry, I was distracted by eh, something. What was your question?

oeb

WindSock wrote: »

If you get on well enough mention it to him in a jokey way next time he does it. It will break the ice and aknowledge that you notice it. If he keeps doing it, then let him know it makes you a bit uncomfortable. Some guys are just obsessed. They need to learn their obsessions shouldn't spill over to making others around them feel awkward.

All this will do is ensure that he is more subtle with his boob stareage. Trying to stop a man looking at boobs is like trying to stop a thing that's very hard to stop. (I'm attending a night course in analogies, but I have only been to one so far, so I'm not that good yet.)

DanGerMus

Orlaithc9 wrote: »

Its embarrassing because theyre my bits...and for him to be looking at them makes me think that hes thinking funny maybe sexual things about me. Thats uncomfortable when we are in a work situation and things are ment to be professional
Hope that makes sense?

Maybe? lol.

Daroxtar

His inner child is hungry

Wibbs

I'm an arse man so luckliy rarely get caught.

segaBOY

WindSock wrote: »

If you get on well enough mention it to him in a jokey way next time he does it. It will break the ice and aknowledge that you notice it. If he keeps doing it, then let him know it makes you a bit uncomfortable. Some guys are just obsessed. They need to learn their obsessions shouldn't spill over to making others around them feel awkward.

That will make him feel like a sad panda and he won't talk to you for months

WindSock

oeb wrote: »

All this will do is ensure that he is more subtle with his boob stareage. Trying to stop a man looking at boobs is like trying to stop a thing that's very hard to stop. (I'm attending a night course in analogies, but I have only been to one so far, so I'm not that good yet.)

Well then. When you go into work in the morning stand with your boobs about a foot away at eye level to him and tell him to get his whole days dosage in 2 minutes.

Or...

Stick a post-it on each one with a drawing of a cock and balls.

CCCP^

Try not wearing something that shows cleavage.

WindSock

segaBOY wrote: »

That will make him feel like a sad panda and he won't talk to you for months

Well it's either that or go to HR and have them tell him with a caution.

Rob_l

WindSock wrote: »

Well then. When you go into work in the morning stand with your boobs about a foot away at eye level to him and tell him to get his whole days dosage in 2 minutes.

Or...

Stick a post-it on each one with a drawing of a cock and balls.

That might be misconstrued as suggested usage for the OP's boobs!

stovelid

WindSock wrote: »

Well then. When you go into work in the morning stand with your boobs about a foot away at eye level to him and tell him to get his whole days dosage in 2 minutes.

Dream scenario ftw.

Rob_l

On a spin off topic i find the word boobs to be a funny word,it also seems a very child like way to refer to breasts. Maybe thats its intention i dont know but its still funny to me always brings a smile to my face much like the actual boobs themselves

NothingMan

I feel so unlucky, none of the girls in my office show any cleavage. Although one lady did wear a :eek:dress at the xmas party last year and I spent the entire night with my eyes on her bewbs and my jaw on the floor. Strangley she's one of the older women in the office (40's) and she's the foxiest.

segaBOY

WindSock wrote: »

Well it's either that or go to HR and have them tell him with a caution.

You just got me thinking about the breasted lady who works in my HR department...her cautioning me could be kind of sexy

stovelid

One has to be vigilant in the office.

I often have to wait at the bottom of the stars for ages until there are no women around so they're not behind me going up the stairs. It's happened once or twice and I've just sensed the lascivious little jades peeling off my underpants with their eyes.

Johnnnybravo

Hey Orlaith. Small world!

Can you wear that pink top I like in tomorrow. Cheers Doll

WindSock

Rob_l wrote: »

That might be misconstrued as suggested usage for the OP's boobs!

Ok. A photo of his ma and da then

lucernarian

Meh. Men can and do glance at chests on a frequent basis. Now, that doesn't mean that he has to look at it while talking to you either. That's indiscreet.

Then again, sometimes my eyes would look downwards simply so that I was not staring into someone's face for several minutes non stop. Not to catch a glimpse of what bra a girl's wearing etc!

I think some women fail to get that men can admire attributes about women e.g. their figure, their chest, and they will look briefly but it's not exactly suggesting burning desire or in your words, "sexual intent".

I also think your reason for being uncomfortable is not fully truthful as I expect you'd feel the same outside of work etc. Besides, why the hell would being in work make your breasts less attractive?! I think you'll have to become a bit more comfortable with the way that men, while not even fancying you, may still you look at you like that for a moment. How do you find being around men in general? Are many of your friends male?

But this forum really has far more men than women on it. I might ask a couple of my female friends what they think of men making sneaky glances as them or their bits, so to speak.

Pace2008

Orlaithc9 wrote: »

So...theres a guy in work I get on with very well. We are both in our mid - late 20s. We work very well together and have a laugh. Hes married by the way so anything more than that is a no no plus Im in a very loving committed relationship myself.

What has this got to do with anything? Do you think men become asexual once they're married?

Alessandra

You are secretly flattered right?

stovelid

Alessandra wrote: »

You are secretly flattered right?

OP sounds sweet on him. I think she wants one of the males here to say, he's obviously in love with you, it's not as if men stare at breasts for nothing you know.

Big Nasty

I have to say that if a lady has a nice rack I have extreme difficulty keeping the eyes leve during conversation. Extreme Difficulty!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zrl5sYmApcI

Johnnnybravo

stovelid wrote: »

OP sounds sweet on him. I think she wants one of the males here to say, he's obviously in love with you, it's not as if men stare at breasts for nothing you know.

:D I actually think your onto something there.

Alessandra

stovelid wrote: »

OP sounds sweet on him. I think she wants one of the males here to say, he's obviously in love with you, it's not as if men stare at breasts for nothing you know.

Well if they are on display I guess he can't help himself.


As I see it if someone has nice eyes how are you not going to stare same with chest.

BLITZ_Molloy

You need to stare for an extended period to ensure they stay in the **** bank. You've got to try and find inspiration to keep things fresh.

I'm usually not to obvious but it has to be said work can be really ****ing boring so you end up scoping people out (assuming there are any about) far more than you should. Offices are generally fairly spartan, grey and monotonous looking places so it's something pleasing to look at.

Elba101

I think the only thing that you can take away from this thread is that men like boobs and he isn't going to stop staring

tbh

Orlaithc9 wrote: »

maybe I should start staring at his crotch just because its there?

I don't think that would deliver the result you have in mind.

Johnnnybravo

maybe tis just wishful thinking that hes staring??? Honestly?

tbh

also, even if he is staring, bear in mind the concept of default hot