Mankiest thing you've seen at throwing out time? [No pics!]

ncmc

Have to bring this thread back from the dead as it is the funniest thing I have read in ages!

Mine is pretty tame compared to most... Was working in Cork City a few years ago, it was the middle of the afternoon in Patrick Street and these two oul hobos start scrapping right in front of the shop I worked in. Next thing, one of them stops, pulls down the cacks and proceeds to jump up to the nearest bin and do a scuttery one into it. Now, it was one of these bins with the top covered and holes in the side for putting rubbish, needless to say the scutter goes all down the side of the bin and on to the hobos clothes. When he was done, he hopped off and him and the other fella saunter off, fight forgotten.

The funniest thing was watching the council come to clean it, they were practically wearing space suits!

Gross, but passed the working day rightly!

faigs

Some guys I went to school with used to admit to pissing up against the bar in a local nightclub all the time. Just too lazy to go to the jacks the dirty c*nts. That was about 6 years ago I hope they've grown up by now!

blow69

ncmc wrote: »

Have to bring this thread back from the dead as it is the funniest thing I have read in ages!

Mine is pretty tame compared to most... Was working in Cork City a few years ago, it was the middle of the afternoon in Patrick Street and these two oul hobos start scrapping right in front of the shop I worked in. Next thing, one of them stops, pulls down the cacks and proceeds to jump up to the nearest bin and do a scuttery one into it. Now, it was one of these bins with the top covered and holes in the side for putting rubbish, needless to say the scutter goes all down the side of the bin and on to the hobos clothes. When he was done, he hopped off and him and the other fella saunter off, fight forgotten.

The funniest thing was watching the council come to clean it, they were practically wearing space suits!

Gross, but passed the working day rightly!

That is the single most disgusting thing I have ever heard!

ncmc

blow69 wrote: »

That is the single most disgusting thing I have ever heard!

Haha, you obviously haven't read the rest of these stories, mine was seriously tame in comparison!!!

Wagon

I was with some mates in Eddie Rockets at about 5pm and this tramp walks in. He smells like crap and is a filthy little bollix altogher. I notice a very strong smell of **** all of a sudden and a log had fallen down his trousers and onto the floor right in front of the door.

He got his tea and then tried to do the right thing by cleaning it up, so he grabbed a bit of tissue and tried to pick it up. However, he was old and weak so he kept pushing it around the floor covering it in ****e and he ended up by managing to collect half of it and he shoved it in his pocket and walked out leaving a big mass of lovely brown on the floor which new arrivals to the shop promptly stood in.

Then my chotolate malt arrived. Bollocks.

Chris_533976

Not drinking, but equally as funny.

Was coming down the street in Cork at 8am one morning, when I saw a big pile of cakes at the door of one of the shops, you know those kinda half sealed cardboard boxes with lovely fresh cakes in them.

Up against the side of the pile of boxes was a big dog, leg cocked, gallons of piss pouring out all over the heap of cakes

Riddle101

Wagon wrote: »

I was with some mates in Eddie Rockets at about 5pm and this tramp walks in. He smells like crap and is a filthy little bollix altogher. I notice a very strong smell of **** all of a sudden and a log had fallen down his trousers and onto the floor right in front of the door.

He got his tea and then tried to do the right thing by cleaning it up, so he grabbed a bit of tissue and tried to pick it up. However, he was old and weak so he kept pushing it around the floor covering it in ****e and he ended up by managing to collect half of it and he shoved it in his pocket and walked out leaving a big mass of lovely brown on the floor which new arrivals to the shop promptly stood in.

Then my chotolate malt arrived. Bollocks.

:eek::(:mad: I though the post about the hobo crapping on top of a bin was bad but this, uhhhh. I am never going near a hobo again

Lockstep

I knew some lads in school who had a hobby of climbing buildings, doing a dump on the flat roofs, then running away without wiping.

paconnors

was out one night in Galway and seen this young one q- ing in a popular 24 hr shop and seen blood streaming down her inside leg

ball ox

was in San Francisco last week. Walking down a relatively normal street at around 2 in the afternoon. There was some homeless guy sprawled out in the middle of the footpath with loads of suits walking around him on their way to lunch or whatever. I was beginning to wonder whether he was actually alive or not when two other hobos walked out of a nearby ally, pants down, and started pissing all over the guys head while laughing hysterically. The guy got up confused and his long hair and beard drenched. After a bit of squabbling with the other lads the three of them walked off into the sunset together laughing amongst themselves. Strange city.

Riddle101

ball ox wrote: »

was in San Francisco last week. Walking down a relatively normal street at around 2 in the afternoon. There was some homeless guy sprawled out in the middle of the footpath with loads of suits walking around him on their way to lunch or whatever. I was beginning to wonder whether he was actually alive or not when two other hobos walked out of a nearby ally, pants down, and started pissing all over the guys head while laughing hysterically. The guy got up confused and his long hair and beard drenched. After a bit of squabbling with the other lads the three of them walked off into the sunset together laughing amongst themselves. Strange city.

Yeah it is a strange city indeed, they say when there's a full moon out, everyone turns gay

I don't have much stories like the ones i've read but i know my friend(Who's a bit of a dope) got drunk one night and decided to sleep in a field rather then walk the rest of the way home which wasn't to far to where he lived. To make matters worse, some guy from my school who dosen't really like him, took a leak on him.

stovelid

Not really throwing out time, but a lad did a sh*t in the sink beside me in the toilets in a well-known night club about 5 or six years ago.

Lockstep

paconnors wrote: »

was out one night in Galway and seen this young one q- ing in a popular 24 hr shop and seen blood streaming down her inside leg

Which shop?

Slidey

kickoutthejams wrote: »

Which shop?

Its too late she is gone now... durty animal:pac::pac:

Statso

blue-army wrote: »

I remember in 5th class in Primary school during the middle of Maths...
One guy raised his hand and suddenly shouted out "Teacher, I need to go to the bathroom, I'm gonna be (Sick)" ...and with that he threw up all over the boy in front of him.
The boy in front carefully took off his jumper and when he saw the green vomit all over it he immediately threw up all over the boy in front of him!

It was like a Mexican wave of vomit!

Thats brilliant.

daauneal

Giant whale of a homeless woman taking a massive (like a f****n camel) piss in central bank and about 2:30 in the day on a saturday , bout 2 years ago.
she didnt move after, just stayed sittin there over her own piss.



(side note: something rank will be goin on in dublin soon enough, saw on *umtree.ie today in the general jobs section that someones looking to pay money for the services of a big dog to "play with" . . . . . nasty!!!):eek:

flyingoutside

paconnors wrote: »

was out one night in Galway and seen this young one q- ing in a popular 24 hr shop and seen blood streaming down her inside leg

Mank but was she nice?:D

reggiethefirst

Some guy I know took a piss on a statue in the town square, which lds of people do, but about 20 minutes later another guy starts making out with the statue for a dare.

brendansmith

flyingoutside wrote: »

Mank but was she nice?:D

Answer the question~!!!!:mad:

Silenceisbliss

worst thing I saw was drunk lads in kilkenny have piss races on the footpath. (they stand beside eachother on the footpath facing downhill releasing their stream see whos goes further and faster.

the guy that was losing was a sore loser and started cheating by pissing on the other lad to distract him....the whole thing just turned into a laughter filled piss fight. that was bad

Silenceisbliss

Silenceisbliss wrote: »

worst thing I saw was drunk lads in kilkenny have piss races on the footpath. (they stand beside eachother on the footpath facing downhill releasing their stream see whos goes further and faster.

the guy that was losing was a sore loser and started cheating by pissing on the other lad to distract him....the whole thing just turned into a laughter filled piss fight. that was bad

Hilarious!

helimachoptor

paconnors wrote: »

was out one night in Galway and seen this young one q- ing in a popular 24 hr shop and seen blood streaming down her inside leg

Similar experience myself...
Was in bad bobs in temple bar about 2 years ago with a few lads. Got chatting to a few girls who invited us back to a house party.. outside one of the girls collapses to her knees moaning about cramps and the other girls helped her up... a good dollop of blood on the pavement, we made a sharp exit!

Meeting a girl about 6 years ago, little minx she pulled me into the toilet of a bar we were at (pretty packed too and it was seen she pulled me in-> to the boys toilets ) anyway did the deed but the gents was packed... she asked was it ok if she took a dump... never went near her again!

and finally.. a mate of mine pulled this complete fooking dirtbag in Q bar one night a couple of years back early on in the night. By 2am she could barely stand but she was pretty much giving him a sherman on the chair, she then sticks her hand up her skirt, rips out her jam rag throws it on the ground.. covered in blood and tells my mate to drop the hand and go down on her... fooking dirtbag!

beerbaron

helimachoptor wrote: »

.. a mate of mine pulled this complete fooking dirtbag in Q bar one night a couple of years back early on in the night. By 2am she could barely stand but she was pretty much giving him a sherman on the chair, she then sticks her hand up her skirt, rips out her jam rag throws it on the ground.. covered in blood and tells my mate to drop the hand and go down on her... fooking dirtbag!

CHRIST :eek:

Statso

helimachoptor wrote: »

and finally.. a mate of mine pulled this complete fooking dirtbag in Q bar one night a couple of years back early on in the night. By 2am she could barely stand but she was pretty much giving him a sherman on the chair, she then sticks her hand up her skirt, rips out her jam rag throws it on the ground.. covered in blood and tells my mate to drop the hand and go down on her... fooking dirtbag!

Didn't need to read that at lunchtime.

ncmc

and finally.. a mate of mine pulled this complete fooking dirtbag in Q bar one night a couple of years back early on in the night. By 2am she could barely stand but she was pretty much giving him a sherman on the chair, she then sticks her hand up her skirt, rips out her jam rag throws it on the ground.. covered in blood and tells my mate to drop the hand and go down on her... fooking dirtbag!

No, no, no, no, no, NO! Tell me this never happened :eek:

NeVeR

When in Liverpool one of the lads got really really really drunk.. he couldn't stand up... He was kneeling and pissing into this big Puddle,,, when he finished he fell face first into the puddle.

Roadend

helimachoptor wrote: »

and finally.. a mate of mine pulled this complete fooking dirtbag in Q bar one night a couple of years back early on in the night. By 2am she could barely stand but she was pretty much giving him a sherman on the chair, she then sticks her hand up her skirt, rips out her jam rag throws it on the ground.. covered in blood and tells my mate to drop the hand and go down on her... fooking dirtbag!

Ah ya, nothing like wearing the mexican lipstick

Br4tPr1nc3

and finally.. a mate of mine pulled this complete fooking dirtbag in Q bar one night a couple of years back early on in the night. By 2am she could barely stand but she was pretty much giving him a sherman on the chair, she then sticks her hand up her skirt, rips out her jam rag throws it on the ground.. covered in blood and tells my mate to drop the hand and go down on her... fooking dirtbag!

ive been sittin here breakin me bollox laughing reading all this,
but that jam rag one was the nastiest of the whole thread.

Gummy Panda

helimachoptor wrote: »

and finally.. a mate of mine pulled this complete fooking dirtbag in Q bar one night a couple of years back early on in the night. By 2am she could barely stand but she was pretty much giving him a sherman on the chair, she then sticks her hand up her skirt, rips out her jam rag throws it on the ground.. covered in blood and tells my mate to drop the hand and go down on her... fooking dirtbag!

Now thats what i call a sticky situation!

info@

Des Hynes wrote: »

Two knackers pissed,one eating a snackbox.

One throws up, the other picks a leg/breast of chicken out of the puke and eats it!

OMG!!!! no way surely