Mankiest thing you've seen at throwing out time? [No pics!]

SoWatchaWant

A guy I'm not too fond of was gettin sucked off by a girl at a party- as usual he was twisted drunk, and he pisses in her mouth.

He never lived it down, God bless his soul.

Thomas_S_Hunterson

SoWatchaWant wrote: »

A guy I'm not too fond of was gettin sucked off by a girl at a party- as usual he was twisted drunk, and he pisses in her mouth.

He never lived it down, God bless his soul.

hero:p

Hansel

Fat birds dressing like they're a skinny pop star and trying to dance always disgusts me. You know the type of girl I'm talking about, every club has at least one. Too much to drink, belly hanging out under their small top and it swaying wildly as she dances her "sexy" dance, normally while holding at least one drink and sweating profusely.

Lockstep

Hansel wrote: »

Fat birds dressing like they're a skinny pop star and trying to dance always disgusts me. You know the type of girl I'm talking about, every club has at least one. Too much to drink, belly hanging out under their small top and it swaying wildly as she dances her "sexy" dance, normally while holding at least one drink and sweating profusely.

The sweaty overhang of the muffin top provides an excellent and well lubricated spot with easy access for sex.

c4cat

SoWatchaWant wrote: »

A guy I'm not too fond of was gettin sucked off by a girl at a party- as usual he was twisted drunk, and he pisses in her mouth.

He never lived it down, God bless his soul.

Poor Guy He must have been so confused he did no know if he was coming or going. Thats why god made piss yellow and cum white so that we mortals all know if we are cuming or going

Cuddlesworth

About 2 years ago just down the road from Porterhouse Templebar saw a massive barfight. Two groups of lads about 10 lads each going at it hammer and thongs. No idea what started it.

At the end of it when the police were streaming in and those that could ran. One lad carries another over to the curb and sits him down. Chap on the curb was in absolute bits, covered in blood. Anyway, mate produces a bottle of beer and hands it to him. Must have been some nice way of saying, "Glad I don't look like you"

Guy in a daze, picks up bottle and starts to drink it. A large portion of the beer then spills back down the front of his shirt. Confused he does it again. And again it spills down the front of he shirt. Clearly concerned at this stage he puts down the bottle and reaches up towards his face.

His beer bottle producing mate is at this stage taking notice of the clear panic on the mates face. The cop thats now walking towards them also notices. But in fairness they both react different when he proceeds to pul away most of the skin above his chin exposing the gums and bottom of his teeth behind a big flap of bloody skin.

The mate goes green and faints. The copper stands still and says loudly, "****". A couple of the usual gawkers start screaming. Cops start running left right and centre trying to find out what is going on.

Guy on ground goes back to drinking his beer.

My kebab ends up in the bin and I can count the amount of times I now drink in town per year on one hand.

fakearms123

Some hilarious stories in this thread!
I was in limerick during UL rag week and I had just left trinity rooms at 3 in the morning to witness 3 knackers outside in the dead centre of the street, one girl and 2 lad knackers around 16 years old hammered. The lads are talking away between themselves as the girl squats on the street and take a runny sh*t into a bag of tinfoil and in front of everyone. She stands up with the tinfoil in hand with sh*t dripping out the sides and she begins to chase the two lads around trying to throw her sh*t at them. Keeping in mind that her crap is running down her arm at this point. Everyone scatters to avoid being hit with sh*t.

hunnybunny

Originally Posted by SoWatchaWant
A guy I'm not too fond of was gettin sucked off by a girl at a party- as usual he was twisted drunk, and he pisses in her mouth.

He never lived it down, God bless his soul.

Thought a guy can t pee when he is erect? Or at least thats what I read in a book.

hunnybunny

hunnybunny wrote: »

Thought a guy can t pee when he is erect? Or at least thats what I read in a book.

You sure can but it's hard! :rolleyes:

taidghbaby

Deleted User wrote: »

You sure can but it's hard! :rolleyes:

aye....goggles needed

Victor

hunnybunny wrote: »

Thought a guy can t pee when he is erect? Or at least thats what I read in a book.

You'd end up ruptured in a situation like that!

The prostrate gland below the bladder means you can only urinate or ejaculate at the one time.

titan18

Cuddlesworth wrote: »

About 2 years ago just down the road from Porterhouse Templebar saw a massive barfight. Two groups of lads about 10 lads each going at it hammer and thongs. No idea what started it.

At the end of it when the police were streaming in and those that could ran. One lad carries another over to the curb and sits him down. Chap on the curb was in absolute bits, covered in blood. Anyway, mate produces a bottle of beer and hands it to him. Must have been some nice way of saying, "Glad I don't look like you"

Guy in a daze, picks up bottle and starts to drink it. A large portion of the beer then spills back down the front of his shirt. Confused he does it again. And again it spills down the front of he shirt. Clearly concerned at this stage he puts down the bottle and reaches up towards his face.

His beer bottle producing mate is at this stage taking notice of the clear panic on the mates face. The cop thats now walking towards them also notices. But in fairness they both react different when he proceeds to pul away most of the skin above his chin exposing the gums and bottom of his teeth behind a big flap of bloody skin.

The mate goes green and faints. The copper stands still and says loudly, "****". A couple of the usual gawkers start screaming. Cops start running left right and centre trying to find out what is going on.

Guy on ground goes back to drinking his beer.

My kebab ends up in the bin and I can count the amount of times I now drink in town per year on one hand.

That was something that did not need to be shared.You took the level of digustingness in this thread to a new level.


The only thing that I can think of is one of my next door neighbours(college students) threw a few used condoms onto our skylight in our kitchen.It wasnt a nice sight when we woke up in the morning.I couldnt stop laughing for the day in school though

hada

have a few good stories..although they may not all have been done at closing time in bars, but the sentiment, if you could call it that, still applies.

mate of mine was riding a young one a few years ago at a houseparty. Anyway, some of the lads being the kind of guys they were rushed into the room, flicked the light on, pulled the covers off the two, and ran back out again. That was all well and good, and everyone got a good laugh out of it... Little did we realise what would happen next. The lad finished riding your one, took of the condom, left the room and went into the lads, and (think dennis the menace with a slingshot) flung the used condom full of it's contents into the main culprits face - sppplattt.

in first year college, one of lads was absolutely as positively steamed as a 17 year old being away from home can be after a houseparty. Anyway, it was the end of the night and the crowd was left there. Anyway, your man runs into the bathroom, and comes back five minutes or so later. You should have seen the all mighty mess left on in the bathroom. Obviously he had tried to clean up after getting sick, and used the handtowel. But he actually made it worse - smeering sick all over the mirror, the door and leaving it to dry into the towel - also clogging the sink.

gman2k

Back in the Feile days (Thurles)... We got off the train about 2 in the afternoon. Just outside the station were two lads - one ossified sitting on the ground up against the wall, with his buddy standing over him - also buckled into a hoop - p1ssing all over his head. Broad daylight, hundreds of people walking by.

Lad I knew in college - p1ssed in every pub, but never in the jacks. Same lad held back from taking a dump for a few days, then let it off in one rope. Took a photo of it with a ruler in the pic also. Then showed it around the college.....

Another lad in my class was a casual vomiter, could hold no food or drink down without puking afterwards. We'd go for lunch, and walking back after, mid sentence he'd casually puke and keep going...

Was at a drinking relay race in college, one lad knocks back most of a pint but it comes straight back up into the glass. Next in the team picks it up and knocks it straight back.

marco murphy

Victor wrote: »

Sometimes, powerhoses are a must.

No doubt about it.

Magpie!

Unfortunately nothing can wash some of those mental images from my mind.

keane2097

kickoutthejams wrote: »

The sweaty overhang of the muffin top provides an excellent and well lubricated spot with easy access for sex.

Aw...Jesus dude..!

captainzapp

Magpie! wrote: »

Unfortunately nothing can wash some of those mental images from my mind.

its humbling don't you think?

Lockstep

keane2097 wrote: »

Aw...Jesus dude..!

We all know how turned on you are.

captainzapp

this actually happened at about 3 o clock in the afternoon. i was walking through trinity college with some friends and this guy we knew passed us and told us there was something for us on the far bench in the little park across from the physics building. so were walking passed and look over, and theres a prostitute giving head to a hobo on the bench. full on, in the middle of the day in everyones view. he was pretty rough about it aswell. had her at the back of her head and was bashing it in to him.
i reckon he must have found 50 quid on the ground and thought *jackpot...*.
it wasn't that manky really just shocking. they had a load of spectators who thought it was hilarious!

whiskeyman

Not after throwing out time, but still manky...

Was getting the bus into town on very hot summers day a couple of years back. Was around noon, and I had a day off work.
I was stood at the bottom of the stairs, and there were people standing right up to where the driver was (on double decker) and 4 people sat facing us on those seats along the window.
A guy just in front of me looked very pale, and was swaying a bit. The heat on the bus was unreal, and the air was stale due to the crowds.
Just as we were nearing town, the poor lad started to make odd noises.... then projectile vomited all over the people sat down in front of us. He quickly put his hand to his mouth, but this made the spread effect even worse.
Chunks of carrots and god knows what else rained down on the poor passengers... amonst them a little kid holding on to his mummies hand (who looked stunned as the sick dripped down from his innocent face) and a smartly dressed young lady who was clearly going for an interview.
The sick guy just ran off at the next stop, leaving the bus in a foul stench that was vomit inducing itself.
I'll never forget that smell or the look on the other passengers as the puke dripped from their clothes on such a hot, sweltering summer day..

A_M101

captainzapp wrote: »

this actually happened at about 3 o clock in the afternoon. i was walking through trinity college with some friends and this guy we knew passed us and told us there was something for us on the far bench in the little park across from the physics building. so were walking passed and look over, and theres a prostitute giving head to a hobo on the bench. full on, in the middle of the day in everyones view. he was pretty rough about it aswell. had her at the back of her head and was bashing it in to him.
i reckon he must have found 50 quid on the ground and thought *jackpot...*.
it wasn't that manky really just shocking. they had a load of spectators who thought it was hilarious!

I heard about that one!

Captain Slow IRL

I used to work in a night club, just after I left school - had to clean out the toilets at the end of the night. Usually, it was just a swamp of piss and toilet paper, but one night presented a pair of jocks that had been used as a nappy - the smell was funking rank and there was a puddle of crap around them.

Women's jacks were always immaculate at the end of the night - quick sweep and they were like new (this was about 10 years ago now, there's a different breed of women around now!):pac:

Another time, and it wasn't at closing time - it was about 6 o clock on a lovely sunday afternoon, was driving over town and seen an older woman coming out of a pub and as she turned to walk away, she had a massive wet-patch down the back of her white dress - doubt it was the queues to the jacks that caused it either!

Some of the stories I've read are funking disgusting, keep em coming! Fecalfeliac's, go find a site for your sick fetish - no-one want's to see homo-erotic crap photo's here!

flyingoutside

captainzapp wrote: »

this actually happened at about 3 o clock in the afternoon. i was walking through trinity college with some friends and this guy we knew passed us and told us there was something for us on the far bench in the little park across from the physics building. so were walking passed and look over, and theres a prostitute giving head to a hobo on the bench. full on, in the middle of the day in everyones view. he was pretty rough about it aswell. had her at the back of her head and was bashing it in to him.
i reckon he must have found 50 quid on the ground and thought *jackpot...*.
it wasn't that manky really just shocking. they had a load of spectators who thought it was hilarious!

Ha thats brilliant

twinytwo

Was passing the vic one day in Cork and there was this old women squatting on a step with her pants down. She was taking a nice long slash and a squttery dump. As i jumped over the yellow river she sticks her hand up and shouts... Giz a hand up there boyeo willa.....enough said:eek:

barnacle

I used to work in the bar of a hotel.

One day, there were some fine upstanding members of the Travelling Community in the bar, and needless to say they were a bit rowdy, and very smelly.

One of the aul' dears went out to the jacks, and proceed to scutter all over the lobby. When she was finished, did she go tho the jacks and get some paper to clean it up, like a normal decent person would?

No.

She went back into the bar to finish her drink. While the cleaning staff had to clean the chocolatey brown flood off the floor. Safe to say her, and the rest of them were kicked out. And we had to work in a smelly bar/hotel all day.

At the end of the shift, one of the lads went into the blokes, only to find that covered in delicious scutter aswell. Floor, walls, sinks. Everywhere, but the toilet. To be honest we weren't that surprised, and just dug in.

One of the girls went into the ladies, and it was exactly the same, except there were handprints in it. Yummay.

Pen1987

This wasnt even in PUBLIC but it was at closing time.

My neighbours were having a few people over to celebrate the husbands 45th birthday, we know them fairly well so we all popped down, and they asked their next door family in aswell, we didnt know them all that well but sure the more the merryer and all that.

Now it should be noted that we live in an estate where all the houses are semi detatched. So the layout of the party-house and the slightly-unknown neighbours house were mirror images.

So the party got rolling. We were sitting in the living room which had glass doors through to the dining room then that had a glass door all the way out to the back garden, so you could see all the way from the front of the house right through the back garden.

So the neighbour (50) and her daughter who was around 25 were chatting away lashing vodkas into them. Everyone was getting happily drunk, but they were LASHING it in. 2AM comes around and the daughter in HAMMERED. She stands up to go out to the bathroom, walks out the door of the living room, takes a left as you would in her house then instead of taking the next right into the downstairs bathroom she takes a left into the dining room, the one with the glass doors that were sitting beside in the living room. Pulls the knickers down completely oblivious to all the neighbours chatting away in full veiw who havent noticed her in there yet. Shes mid-stream and the owner of the homes son goes 'OH MY GOD!', about twenty of her neighbours turn and look at her having a piss and scuttery one all over her neighbours chair and carpet.

That was about 6 months ago, havent seen her since. She must of moved out.

garbanzo

Classic post. The mental image it creates has me doubled over.

TeletextPear

saw a well-known kids tv presenter off his face a few weeks ago on grafton street, leaned up against burger king eating a burger... he takes a few bites, drops it on the ground, then picks it up and keep eating. he was so drunk that he was more mashing it into his face than eating it, bits of lettuce dripping off him and all....

Captain Slow IRL

TeletextPear wrote: »

saw a well-known kids tv presenter off his face a few weeks ago on grafton street, leaned up against burger king eating a burger... he takes a few bites, drops it on the ground, then picks it up and keep eating. he was so drunk that he was more mashing it into his face than eating it, bits of lettuce dripping off him and all....

Camera phone?!?!?!