Talk About Your Relationships Here

LouOB

Sorry to read/hear/know re Kazobel
Sounds like you have had horrible time in the past

But like all things, its in the past and after reading post sounds like you are doing very well.

Clare Bear

God I thought I had things bad with my ex....nothing in comparison to that Kaz. Fair play to you for getting on with your life in the way you have....lots of people wouldn't. I felt sick reading that. I know it was a long time ago but good for you, it can't have been easy.

I'm very good friends with two ex's of mine but neither of those were serious....the one and only serious 3 year relationship I had ended a year and a half ago and I don't see him now. It ended very nasty, on his part, that's not me being bitter, everyone around him including his family agreed what he did was uncalled for....but what's done is done. I wish him all the best and I know he's happy in a relationship now and I'm genuinely happy for him, I just don't want to have anything to do with him. Bad times but I'm all good now. Time is a good healer (hate that phrase but it's true) and life is for living, I was miserable for long enough.

I wish there was a planet we could ban evil ex boyfriends to....hmmm....someone make it happen!

Kazobel

DubLegs wrote: »

THATS ALL!! my god that is madness!

The Judge empathised with him and put most of the blame on me. In them days the term Gender Identity Disorder and Transsexual were unheard of in this country (I had never even heard of them) and although I had been living and working as female for over 3 years I was still just seen as a perv who liked to dress in womens clothes. At the time of the assult I was very convincing and nobody could have told any different but the trial wasn't until I got out of hospital after alot of surgury so I looked like crap. So he convinced the judge we were only seeing each other a few weeks and it was the first time he had tried for sex and after finding out I was born male went into a shocked rage. The judge totally fell for it and told me I could expect nothing else if I chose that lifestyle, those days were rife with homophobia so it wasn't that uncommon an occurence for a trans/gay person to be beaten up and the courts to claim "You brought it on yourself" and totally ignore the facts of the case :rolleyes: .

*Page*

citytillidie wrote: »

Now that is very shocking no one should do that no matter how bad the split was. My ex two timed me but I would never ever put someone through that no matter how much she hurt me.

Both lads dumbed me for other girls... after cheating on me... and i was clam and forgiving and accepted the break up and then they went la la...:D

but nothing compares to the above

echosound

Kazobel wrote: »

The judge totally fell for it and told me I could expect nothing else if I chose that lifestyle, those days were rife with homophobia so it wasn't that uncommon an occurence for a trans/gay person to be beaten up and the courts to claim "You brought it on yourself" and totally ignore the facts of the case :rolleyes: .

Jeebus H Christ. That is flabberghasting. So any person who gets attacked because they are gay/trans are bringing it on themself and can expect no justice...the mind boggles. Is that judge still around? I sincerely hope not.

Fair play to you for being able to get past that entire horrible time in your life Kaz, I know I'd probably explode in a puff of rage at the injustice of it. Hope your ex is rotting in excruciating pain somewhere now too.

Next to that, my asshole ex is only a mild common or garden psycho.

Kazobel

echosound wrote: »

Jeebus H Christ. That is flabberghasting. So any person who gets attacked because they are gay/trans are bringing it on themself and can expect no justice...the mind boggles. Is that judge still around? I sincerely hope not.

Fair play to you for being able to get past that entire horrible time in your life Kaz, I know I'd probably explode in a puff of rage at the injustice of it. Hope your ex is rotting in excruciating pain somewhere now too.

Next to that, my asshole ex is only a mild common or garden psycho.

I wouldn't say so, they were all 60 old, old school, oul fellas 14 years ago, there were few female judges and even those were only token judges. It was a real boys club so stuff like that was generally just swept under the table.

DubLegs

Kazobel wrote: »

The Judge empathised with him and put most of the blame on me. In them days the term Gender Identity Disorder and Transsexual were unheard of in this country (I had never even heard of them) and although I had been living and working as female for over 3 years I was still just seen as a perv who liked to dress in womens clothes. At the time of the assult I was very convincing and nobody could have told any different but the trial wasn't until I got out of hospital after alot of surgury so I looked like crap. So he convinced the judge we were only seeing each other a few weeks and it was the first time he had tried for sex and after finding out I was born male went into a shocked rage. The judge totally fell for it and told me I could expect nothing else if I chose that lifestyle, those days were rife with homophobia so it wasn't that uncommon an occurence for a trans/gay person to be beaten up and the courts to claim "You brought it on yourself" and totally ignore the facts of the case :rolleyes: .

Not much of a judge really! I mean, it doesn't matter about the gender/transsexual issue - it was a human that did something horrific to another human!

Fair play to you for having the courage to get through it! I also agree with the rest - hope he's rotting somewhere!

Kazobel

DubLegs wrote: »

Fair play to you for having the courage to get through it! I also agree with the rest - hope he's rotting somewhere!

Honestly don't know. Last I heard (about 10 years ago) he was a mess but even at that I'd question the source. It was an ex friend (the one who introduced me to him and stuck by him in court) who I'd bumped into on a night out and she tried to tell me he misses me and is sorry etc :rolleyes: and was trying to get me to meet up sometime and get my address but I just told her straight out I wasn't intrested in being friends with her or contact with him and walk away, I believe she called me an selfish b*tch but it felt good

DubLegs

Honestly some peoples logic is amazing! :eek:
U selfish after what he put u through - i don't think so.

RxQueen

Kazobel wrote: »

Honestly don't know. Last I heard (about 10 years ago) he was a mess but even at that I'd question the source. It was an ex friend (the one who introduced me to him and stuck by him in court) who I'd bumped into on a night out and she tried to tell me he misses me and is sorry etc :rolleyes: and was trying to get me to meet up sometime and get my address but I just told her straight out I wasn't intrested in being friends with her or contact with him and walk away, I believe she called me an selfish b*tch but it felt good

bet it did feel good. omg what an asshole he was

Kazobel

DubLegs wrote: »

Honestly some peoples logic is amazing! :eek:
U selfish after what he put u through - i don't think so.

Some people can't see the wood for the trees, deep down I hope he sorted himself out and got help if for no other reason than that he does it to no-one else but I don't know, he was pretty far gone but as I said it was a long time ago and maybe he saw some sense, stranger things have happened .

cold_filter

Met the Gfs ex after going out with her for a few months. We were going to her sisters party and she told me on the drive down. I was a bit nervous, but jesus christ he was a f**king sound bloke! We dont see him at all now which pisses me off more as he was really dead on!

SarahSassy

Agreed with me to come visit him where he lives in 2 weeks from now, allowed me book the flights almost 4 weeks ago, appeared thrilled I was coming over, then didnt contact me for the last 3 weeks, ignored text and email and when I called him yesterday he told me he had met someone 6 weeks ago (only left here 7 weeks ago) and basically obviously he didnt want me to come over. We had been friends for almost 3 years and had just had the chat 7 weeks ago to start formally meeting up more often to see where this could go.

bastard of the year??? I think so.

SS

NOTE he did not tell me I had to chase him and call him at work to find out he didnt want me there although the writing was on the wall for me. Also he did not offer to pay for the flight.

SW81

Oh God Sarah, that's horrible, sorry to hear that What an asshole.

Jackz

Damn Sarah that is feckin terrible behavior.

Kazobel

What an a$$hole Sarah, I hate people that ignore things like that hoping and hoping that a solution will just present itself out of nowhere and then come clean at the last minute only to refuse to take any responsiblity, it's like ***SHRUG*** "It's not my problem" and they're never the ones to lose out! :mad:

AckwelFoley

Not all men are asshole.

I've been thru my fair share of women that can be equally as inconsiderate.

I myself have done ego boosting crap and tgh, in the end the only person i really hurt is myself.

What goes around comes around. Trust me on this one.

Lil' Smiler

snyper wrote: »

Not all men are asshole.

I've been thru my fair share of women that can be equally as inconsiderate.

I myself have done ego boosting crap and tgh, in the end the only person i really hurt is myself.

What goes around comes around. Trust me on this one.

oh i'd well believe it!!


And Sarah, he'll probably end up coming crawling back at some stage when that falls through!!

Kazobel

SarahSassy wrote: »

I dont think they are. I had built up almost 3 years of conversations, mails, texts etc with him as a friend and thought I 'knew' him and could trust him to be honest...

Will never understand it til the day I die. It only took one call to avoid all this and I would have understood.

I think some of Wicknight's post may apply here too, sorry you're feeling so bad

SarahSassy

Kazobel wrote: »

I think some of Wicknight's post may apply here too, sorry you're feeling so bad

Thanks a million.

Cant see how it applies here as he has made NO contact with me and is surely not trying to impress me.

Kazobel

SarahSassy wrote: »

Thanks a million.

Cant see how it applies here as he has made NO contact with me and is surely not trying to impress me.

Sorry, I meant mainly this part:

Guys have this funny thing where even after we are broken up, even after we are moved on and are with someone else, we still like to think that all the people we used to go out with are hung up about us. Its a confidence thing.

Keeping you on a hook may have gave him that feeling

citytillidie

Aww Sarah

Sorry to hear that but it looks like you got a lucky escape, I know it cost you in flights now but think if you have of got there and he just ignored you.

SarahSassy

Kaz, Ah ok I see.... Thanks

Citytillidie thanks and I think you are right. Just have to pick up the pieces of the disappointment and tell myself I had a lucky escape. Its a pain its this time of year too....

My new year resolution for 2008 is to stay well away from all men :S

SS

PS He is bastard of the year though.

AckwelFoley

Sarah, in June i broke up with my best friend and girlfriend of 7 years. I was sick about it.. in ways i still am. I met somone else after that, and after a month of dating i tolh my ex in an effort to help her move on too... it was horrible.. akin to road accident, tears all around... a week later the new gf dumped me

Its been a horrible year for me in 2007 ive been out of work for 2 months with severe depression, somthin ive had all my life.. but this didnt help

Chin up Sarah, you sound like a nuce young woman.. it will work out.. dont look back.. look forward

SarahSassy

Thanks Snyper, hope 08 is better for you.....

I have no real issue with being 'dumped' or him seeing someone as we were not a couple (it could have happened to either of us), but I have huge hurt over the way it was done....

the GALL

Kazobel wrote: »

I was dating a guy for nearly 3 years, it started great but after a while he changed jobs and start hanging around with new people an got into hash and acid and stuff. I stayed with him for a while (stupidly hoping I could get the old person back, I was 21 and naive :rolleyes: ) but one day he pinned me against a wall and tried to choke me so I booted him out. I felt such relief, it was like a weight was lifted. About a week later he turned up at the door p*ssed and wouldn't stop ringing my door bell and my neighbours until I let him in, I told him he could sleep on the couch but I wanted him out the next morning. I went to bed and couldn't sleep and heard him moving around but assumed he was using the toilet (you had to pass my bed to get to it). It was then he did this(Warning it's not nice).

your right it wasn't very nice
hope the scars have healed
the mental not just the physical

Crumble Froo

i did love hearing how my ex, who 'loved' me, and apparently cried and wouldnt eat for weeks after i left him got with this chick who i know to be nice, but the town bicycle (i had so much trouble trying to spell that there :P ), and after something like four months or something of not even solid relationship, he asked her to move in with him for college (their both only 18). she left him instantly.

i lol'd.

gcgirl

What can i say about my ex we were together 7 & half years we had 3 kids together he was not much of a hands on father, Cheated on me at least 5 times that i know about! Makes Charlo out of Family look like an alterboy Fecked off july to shake up with some slovakian as for the kids he did not spend any money on them, he spent 3 grand only for her to dump him and feck off back to Slovakia! Then comes crying back to me told him to feck off says he wants to be there for kids ect the kids are his whole life total bull****e ! Our youngest daughter spends 3 weeks in hospital He comes in 3/4 times to look after her while i get a much needed break Which i thought was a bloody joke since he worked 5 mins from hospital! And he took a day off for mates wedding while he did not for daughters surgery! as soon as she got out off hospital the phone calls dry up! the pick up the kids drys up! after a month and a bit he gets fed up of the kids and this is the same guy who wants guardianship!! Compleat fecking twit!

SarahSassy

I see a common thread here - men cant leave women until they have someone to move to....

Star Lord

SarahSassy that's not strictly true, that's tarring us all with one brush.

I've actually been told by pretty much everyone that I've been with that I'm very different to any other fella they've been with, in good ways.