Talk About Your Relationships Here

Quality

I think a lot of times, Men can be quite shy when it comes to making a move...
He sounds like a gent.

I am sure it will be worth the wait.. Nothing to worry about..

nikki 122

Quality wrote: »

I think a lot of times, Men can be quite shy when it comes to making a move...
He sounds like a gent.

I am sure it will be worth the wait.. Nothing to worry about..

ah thats a relief as i thought the same thing ... fingers crossed i don't end up in tears!!!

aye

nikki 122 wrote: »

wow good advice the world needs more lads like you!!!

thanks!

as for your problem, just when you out with him, go "so when are you gonna ask me out?".

he'll do it then, some guys are just a little cautious about getting rejected. especially at that age.

nikki 122

aye wrote: »

thanks!

as for your problem, just when you out with him, go "so when are you gonna ask me out?".

he'll do it then, some guys are just a little cautious about getting rejected. especially at that age.

god what if he said never girls don't like rejection either!

Wibbs

Here's another angle nikki 122. You meet up, go the flicks or whatever and he gets snogs on tap. Why should he change anything? From his point of view he has it pretty good. There's little reason for him to step it up a notch and become exclusive. He could turn around and say he's met someone else and if you haven't established where you both stand, you don't really have much recourse to blame him for looking elsewhere. I'm not saying he is looking around. Not at all, but if you really want something more permanent then state your case. He won't as he has little reason to.

tallaght01

NIkki122,

Next time he tries to kiss you, you could just pull away.

He's bound to ask why. Then you can tell him you're not all that comfortable with just constantly snogging someone you're not going out with.

You're not directly saying you want to go out with him, so no fear of a shame-fest :P

And you're putting the ball directly into his court.

metaoblivia

Just an update. I've blocked Jon from accessing my profile, and I've dropped Paul as a friend, just so that Jon has no way of getting information and sent Paul an email explaining exactly why. I suppose you can call it the tallaght01 method of moving on. His number is also gone from my phone (and no, it wasn't memorized). I made sure to send Jon an email taking back my apology to him.
Bridges burned, etc., etc..

Davei141

angelicious wrote: »

If your partner gave you a gift that for some bizzare reason he seemed to think you'd like, but in actual fact it was a bit thoughtless, tactless and it left you feeling hurt, would you tell him or would you just chalk it up to "male stupidity"

I know mine is not the biggest problem in the world and I probably should just let it go but for some reason I can't and I'm getting increasingly p****d off. I've mentioned elsewhere that my bf gave me a pair of running shoes for valentines day. A gift that's about as romantic as a dry fart. Granted I'm dieting to try and lose the bit of weight I gained after quitting smoking, and I take my dogs walking every day but outside of that I loathe sports, a fact he well knows, and I didn't need runners - I have 2 pairs at home!

I guess I feel hurt because it seems like he got the shoes just for the sake of getting me something, or else he's subtly hinting that I should move my fat a** more. I don't know, it can't be that he's actually that clueless, can it? This was our first valentines and I went to a lot of effort to make it special but now I can only associate it with feeling hurt.

The ironic thing is that he's said from day one he'd never surprise me with jewellery because he hasn't got a clue - I doubt even the gaudiest piece of costume jewellery would have bothered me as much as a f****** running shoes.

Should I just let it go, or should I somehow raise the issue with him so he knows how I feel? I don't know what to do.

Oh ffs. What a load of nonsense.

metaoblivia wrote:

Just an update. I've blocked Jon from accessing my profile, and I've dropped Paul as a friend, just so that Jon has no way of getting information and sent Paul an email explaining exactly why. I suppose you can call it the tallaght01 method of moving on. His number is also gone from my phone (and no, it wasn't memorized). I made sure to send Jon an email taking back my apology to him.
Bridges burned, etc., etc..

Update. We friends. Update. Not friends. Update. Dodgy atm. Update. he seen my rant. Update. i apologized. Update. I deleted him from facebook.

That whole situation sounds like its infested with people needing to grow the **** up.

metaoblivia

Davei141 wrote: »

Oh ffs. What a load of nonsense.



Update. We friends. Update. Not friends. Update. Dodgy atm. Update. he seen my rant. Update. i apologized. Update. I deleted him from facebook.

That whole situation sounds like its infested with people needing to grow the **** up.

Indeed, it is. That's why it's over now. Oh and I only had one update, so the update scheme you went with kind of didn't work out.

Clare Bear

metaoblivia wrote: »

Indeed, it is. That's why it's over now. Oh and I only had one update, so the update scheme you went with kind of didn't work out.

Don't mind him Meta, good for you, you did the right thing.

Crumble Froo

delighted to hear that metaoblivia! nobody needs more stress in their lives, and i think it's well about time to move on from all the weirdness in those relatoinships

TequilaMockingBird

http://www.blifaloo.com/info/lies.php
Lie dectector.

We got the powah now!

Crumble Froo

ha, i do most of that stuff anyway. im just not generally comfortable around people.

nikki 122

tallaght01 wrote: »

NIkki122,

Next time he tries to kiss you, you could just pull away.

He's bound to ask why. Then you can tell him you're not all that comfortable with just constantly snogging someone you're not going out with.

You're not directly saying you want to go out with him, so no fear of a shame-fest :P

And you're putting the ball directly into his court.

thats a good point he only said to me last night that he really likes me and he is not going to be with any one else but i don't know if i should believe him as he used to be such a player!

nikki 122

Wibbs wrote: »

Here's another angle nikki 122. You meet up, go the flicks or whatever and he gets snogs on tap. Why should he change anything? From his point of view he has it pretty good. There's little reason for him to step it up a notch and become exclusive. He could turn around and say he's met someone else and if you haven't established where you both stand, you don't really have much recourse to blame him for looking elsewhere. I'm not saying he is looking around. Not at all, but if you really want something more permanent then state your case. He won't as he has little reason to.

thats fair enough I quess it's hard for the lad to always make the 1st move at least I'm getting somewhere now...thanks for the advice

Davei141

metaoblivia wrote: »

Indeed, it is. That's why it's over now. Oh and I only had one update, so the update scheme you went with kind of didn't work out.

Sorry for being harsh, its just your clearly not going to be happy with that situation. best rid.

nikki 122

The best way to over someone is under another!

RubyXI

We've been together 2 years. he just doesnt give me hugs and kisses so much anymore. Like hardly ever. I often try to cuddle up to him but more often than not he keeps his hands to himself. I dont know whether he's lost interest or if its just coz we've been together a while now. :(:(

nikki 122

you need to reinvent the flame you once had!

Maple

phi3 wrote: »

We've been together 2 years. he just doesnt give me hugs and kisses so much anymore. Like hardly ever. I often try to cuddle up to him but more often than not he keeps his hands to himself. I dont know whether he's lost interest or if its just coz we've been together a while now. :(:(

is this the same guy who watches telly over your shoulder while you're having a smooch on the couch?? i'm thinking that this is you again, but girl you are clearly unhappy in this relationship so either talk it out with him or get out of it.

Apologies if i've gotten you confused with another poster.

RubyXI

maple wrote: »

is this the same guy who watches telly over your shoulder while you're having a smooch on the couch?? i'm thinking that this is you again, but girl you are clearly unhappy in this relationship so either talk it out with him or get out of it.

Apologies if i've gotten you confused with another poster.

I know but it doesnt seem worth throwing it all away for stuff like that.

Maple

phi3 wrote: »

I know but it doesnt seem worth throwing it all away for stuff like that.

yes but what have you actually got? what is "it all"?

from your posts you don't seem in the slightest bit happy in this relationship at all. you feel like the spark has gone but yet you lack the courage to make the break. you're only together 2 years, what will it be like in 10?

RubyXI

maple wrote: »

yes but what have you actually got? what is "it all"?

from your posts you don't seem in the slightest bit happy in this relationship at all. you feel like the spark has gone but yet you lack the courage to make the break. you're only together 2 years, what will it be like in 10?

Coz i like him i gess. I have no other excuse.

Maple

phi3 wrote: »

Coz i like him i gess. I have no other excuse.

From your other posts about your boyfriend, you're staying with him because he likes you, not the other way around. you're staying with him because if you don't, you won't get any love and affection at all. Your words, not mine.

The boy has said that he loves you but sometimes he thinks only as a friend.

You're not happy in this relationship at all from what I can see. You're putting up with stuff.

Its no way to live your life, from your posts you've said that you have "other stuff" going on in your life. Maybe you ought to focus on the other stuff and get all that sorted out and get yourself happy before you can think about a relationship.

You're obviously unfulfilled and life is way too short.

RubyXI

maple wrote: »

From your other posts about your boyfriend, you're staying with him because he likes you, not the other way around. you're staying with him because if you don't, you won't get any love and affection at all. Your words, not mine.

The boy has said that he loves you but sometimes he thinks only as a friend.

You're not happy in this relationship at all from what I can see. You're putting up with stuff.

Its no way to live your life, from your posts you've said that you have "other stuff" going on in your life. Maybe you ought to focus on the other stuff and get all that sorted out and get yourself happy before you can think about a relationship.

You're obviously unfulfilled and life is way too short.

I dont think i ever said im staying with him coz he loves me coz im not convinced that he does. Yes my life is unfullfilled but thats not his fault. We understand eachother.

Quality

Phi3

I think you have got to that "comfort zone"..

Do you try to make efforts yourself, I think what Nikki said earlier is a good point, try and relight the fire...

Get yourself some kinky gear and set the mood, See how that works?!?;)

Maple

phi3 wrote: »

I dont think i ever said im staying with him coz he loves me coz im not convinced that he does. Yes my life is unfullfilled but thats not his fault. We understand eachother.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055213385&page=3

post 41. You said it. If I leave him i'll get no love and attention at all. Read the thread girl, its the same stuff 8 weeks later.

Not to be patronising but you're 23. You've a lifetime ahead of you. If you're unfulfilled do something about changing it. Why are you settling? You're not even sure if he loves you. Do you not think that you deserve someone who does love you?

RubyXI

maple wrote: »

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055213385&page=3

post 41. You said it. If I leave him i'll get no love and attention at all. Read the thread girl, its the same stuff 8 weeks later.

Not to be patronising but you're 23. You've a lifetime ahead of you. If you're unfulfilled do something about changing it. Why are you settling? You're not even sure if he loves you. Do you not think that you deserve someone who does love you?

No im not sure i do deserve it and i also know it'll never happen.

nikki 122

sorry to interupt, but i really think you need someone to make you feel amazing so if i were you i would talk it out first because you never know he might think the same thing, but if he is not bothered then leave it and find someone new!

Maple

phi3 wrote: »

No im not sure i do deserve it and i also know it'll never happen.

Crap. Utter sh1te. Tripe. Rubbish. How many ways can I say it?

Although I do know that it won't happen if you stay with someone who doesn't fulfill you at all. You're missing out on someone who could.

What on earth have you done that makes you think you don't deserve it? Thats utter sh1te imo, negative defeatist sh1te.