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Nice turn of phrase you've heard

  • 29-06-2019 6:08pm
    #1
    CPTM
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,342 ✭✭✭


    Have you any clever/funny expressions you've heard along the way? I had an old manager who was full of them:

    He's all hat and no cattle (nothing material behind his words)

    If you turned sideways we'd mark you absent (you're skinny)

    [Sighing,shaking head] It's not even about winning anymore, it's about what you lose by.

    [About someone who has all the gossip] I tell you what, I bet you hear the grass grow. You hear everything!

    I do have a heart you know, not just a swinging brick on a rope.

    Any nice ones you've come across?


«1345678

Comments

  • #2
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 5,311 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    "Humanity has been crossed."


  • #3
    trashcan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,082 ✭✭✭trashcan


    One of my favourites is "Don't p1ss on my leg and tell me it's raining."


  • #4
    branie2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,305 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    If you fall and break your legs, don't come running to me!


  • #5
    Speedsie
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,317 ✭✭✭Speedsie
    ¡arriba, arriba! ¡andale, andale!


    "I'm as dry as a Drake in a hay loft"

    Translation, I'm parched.


  • #6
    _blaaz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,646 ✭✭✭_blaaz


    You'd see more meat on a tinkers stick after a fight



    Reference to a very thin person


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  • #7
    Blazedup
    Registered Users Posts: 72 ✭✭Blazedup


    trashcan wrote:
    One of my favourites is "Don't p1ss on my leg and tell me it's raining."

    Judge Judy


  • #8
    Cee-Jay-Cee
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,235 ✭✭✭✭Cee-Jay-Cee


    I’m so hungry I’d eat the bare arse of a nun through the convent gates.


  • #9
    Conall Cernach
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,952 ✭✭✭Conall Cernach


    He'd be in the crib at Christmas.


  • #10
    ytpe2r5bxkn0c1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 32,688 ✭✭✭✭ytpe2r5bxkn0c1


    No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.


  • #11
    4ensic15
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,691 ✭✭✭4ensic15


    I'd drink out of a tinker's knickers.


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  • #12
    Gremlinertia
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional West Moderators Posts: 60,497 Mod ✭✭✭✭Gremlinertia


    I'd eat the leg of the lamb of god


  • #13
    Plumbthedepths
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,653 ✭✭✭✭Plumbthedepths


    It is better to have people think you are an idiot, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.


  • #14
    corner of hells
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,409 ✭✭✭corner of hells


    I'm that hungry, I'd eat the arse of a low flying duck.


  • #15
    omerin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,485 ✭✭✭omerin


    trashcan wrote: »
    One of my favourites is "Don't p1ss on my leg and tell me it's raining."


    Mainly heard when in the company of Sean O'Brien


  • #16
    BuboBubo
    Registered Users Posts: 927 ✭✭✭BuboBubo


    I'm so hungry I'd eat a horse between two breadvans.

    If your aunt had balls she'd be your uncle.

    You'd use less petrol driving over him than driving around him.

    He'd get up on a hairy rasher.


  • #17
    Archeron
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,334 ✭✭✭Archeron


    I'm buying you a roundy bed so you can't get out the wrong side of it.


  • #18
    Franz Von Peppercorn II
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,398 ✭✭✭Franz Von Peppercorn II


    BuboBubo wrote: »
    If your aunt had balls she'd be your uncle.
    .

    Not necessarily these days.


  • #19
    memorystick
    Registered Users Posts: 1,607 ✭✭✭memorystick


    An empty bag is a happy bag.


  • #20
    Franz Von Peppercorn II
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,398 ✭✭✭Franz Von Peppercorn II


    He’d turn up for the opening of an envelope.

    (A politician or other worthy who goes to lots of events).


  • #21
    Purple Mountain
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,285 ✭✭✭✭Purple Mountain


    Not so much a phrase but a term.
    'Hakiecock' - country word for a person (usually a woman) who has their nose in everyone's business.

    Similar to an 'altar licker' - someone who is a holy Joe.

    To thine own self be true



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  • #22
    branie2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,305 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    You'd eat that if you were in Africa


  • #23
    flazio
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,254 ✭✭✭✭flazio


    Any craic?
    Response: Just the one I sit on.


  • #24
    Gimme A Pound
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,482 ✭✭✭Gimme A Pound


    trashcan wrote: »
    One of my favourites is "Don't p1ss on my leg and tell me it's raining."
    In a southern US accent: "Don't spit on mah cupcake and call it frawstin!"


  • #25
    Frynge
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,667 ✭✭✭Frynge


    I was born at night, but I wasn't born last night.


  • #26
    Sorry about that
    Closed Accounts Posts: 632 ✭✭✭Sorry about that


    Mackerel sky.


  • #27
    Hibernicis
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,621 ✭✭✭Hibernicis


    You can spend it on good food or spend it on doctors


  • #28
    gingerhousewife
    Registered Users Posts: 138 ✭✭gingerhousewife


    "An empty house is better than a bad tenant"

    Wise words of wisdom from my dad after I puked from too many pints, aged 19.


  • #29
    branie2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,305 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    Hunger is a good sauce


  • #30
    Sleeper12
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,156 ✭✭✭✭Sleeper12


    My favourite one from my father is "he has a neck like a jockeys boll0x"


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  • #31
    Johnnycanyon
    Registered Users Posts: 211 ✭✭Johnnycanyon


    He would mind mice at a crossroads.


  • #32
    Poochie05
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,260 ✭✭✭Poochie05


    I didn’t float up the Lagan in a bubble


  • #33
    griffin100
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,991 ✭✭✭griffin100


    You can’t put the sh1te back in the cow.

    The Irish version of no point crying over spilt milk.


  • #34
    mad muffin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,034 ✭✭✭mad muffin


    ”Your breath smells like gobshïte”

    My 8 year old son… :pac:


  • #35
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,202 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    The Devil is beating his wife.

    Rain when the sun is shining.

    If God lived on earth, people would break his windows.

    If the rich could hire the poor to die for them, the poor would make a very nice living.


  • #36
    anewme
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,021 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    Time to say...thread fail.


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  • #37
    jimbobaloobob
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,153 ✭✭✭jimbobaloobob


    It was said in Irish at a currach race one, one of the competitors was making a monaghans mother of rowing the boat and the lad beside me said "He wouldnt managed to wash his face in the sink".


  • #38
    IAMAMORON
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,078 ✭✭✭IAMAMORON


    You'd be a horse of a man if you could shít while your walking.

    or

    If you had brains you'd be dangerous.


  • #39
    Sorry about that
    Closed Accounts Posts: 632 ✭✭✭Sorry about that


    "If there was work in the bed, he'd sleep on the floor."


  • #40
    razorblunt
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,300 ✭✭✭✭razorblunt


    Don’t argue with an idiot, they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.


  • #41
    jimbobaloobob
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,153 ✭✭✭jimbobaloobob


    That lad would pick a fight with his toe nails.


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  • #42
    castletownman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,504 ✭✭✭✭castletownman


    'He'd peel an orange in his pocket'- someone who is very stingy.

    My favourite saying from my uncle is : 'he's like a blind skunk that fell in love with a fart'. Not entirely sure of its meaning, but I think it refers to a lad who is a bit clueless.


  • #43
    myshirt
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,245 ✭✭✭myshirt


    She had a fanny on her no better than a torn slipper.


  • #44
    Shemale
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,376 ✭✭✭Shemale


    If I wanted to hear an arsehole I would have farted

    I got on great with the cleaner of a place I used to work, I am very witty and I was in my 20s and she was 50s from the inner city and I was trying to wind her up and she nailed me with this:

    "I'm too big of a cat to be taken in by a kitten" I am in my 40s and I use it myself now


  • #45
    reap-a-rat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,006 ✭✭✭reap-a-rat


    Conall Cernach wrote: »
    He'd be in the crib at Christmas.

    What does this one mean?


  • #46
    shopper2011
    Registered Users Posts: 86 ✭✭shopper2011


    Something my mum uaed to say to us when we'd be out alot - "Your like cows sh1t, your never off the road"


  • #47
    myshirt
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,245 ✭✭✭myshirt


    reap-a-rat wrote: »
    What does this one mean?

    It's the same as saying "That fella, he's the type you'd invite him to the communion and he'd stay on for the confirmation".

    Someone who overstays their welcome and gets too comfortable. Starts eating your food out of the fridge. Taking showers in your house. And you just invited them over for the evening.


  • #48
    Colonel Claptrap
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 945 ✭✭✭Colonel Claptrap


    It would be like throwing a sausage up O'Connell street.


  • #49
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 5,917 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    He broke his nose with his mouth.


  • #50
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 5,917 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    All mouth and no trousers.


  • #51
    corner of hells
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,409 ✭✭✭corner of hells


    gingerhousewife wrote: »
    "An empty house is better than a bad tenant"

    Wise words of wisdom from my dad after I puked from too many pints, aged 19.

    "You're like a madmans ****e , all over the place "
    My dad to a cyclist, one evening on the quays.


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