Nice turn of phrase you've heard

cold as a witch's tit

Blaizes

Richard Branson
‘ Screw it, let’s do it.’

sligojoek

Take it easy, and if you get it easy take it twice.

Be good. And if you're not good, be good at it.

Fanny like a dropped lasagne.

(Remember the Thunderdome?)

dinky earnshaw

I'm so hungry I'd ate the mickey off a werewolf.

Stop moaning ffs

Rather be looking at it, than looking for it



Words of wisdom of a friend of mine stocking up beer for good Fridays past.
Applicable for anything though

Your Face

A older worker, not unkindly, said to me years ago when I was rushing to finish a job:

'Dont sell your labour so cheap'

Thepillowman

He's a gable end short of a bungalow
As useful as a back pocket on a shirt
Like throwing a crowbar into a warehouse
If laziness was an Olympic sport he'd come fourth so he wouldn't have to get up on the podium

Plopsu

The crow is bigger than the cock.

Roger Hassenforder

"He's like an asses cock- he's big when he's out"

silverharp

I'd hit him so hard he would be done for speeding in Drogheda

DrPhilG

A friend of my aunt was having a drunken row with her husband. He was being a big mouth and boasting about his great achievements (he has none).

His wife replied "if your cock was as big as your mouth then you'd have something to boast about"...

Ouch

jimbobaloobob

Heard one on gogglebox earlier about a guy that was a bit mad. One of the people on the couch said
I don't think that lift goes all the way to the top.

DrPhilG

jimbobaloobob wrote: »

Heard one on gogglebox earlier about a guy that was a bit mad. One of the people on the couch said
I don't think that lift goes all the way to the top.

Not all of his dogs are barking.

He needs a check up from the neck up.

everlast75

DrPhilG wrote: »

Not all of his dogs are barking.

He needs a check up from the neck up.

He's a coke short of a happy meal..

Dav010

When you fall into a bunch of nettles, you don’t look for the one that stung ya.


aka: not sure who the dad is.

Mehaffey1

He/She needs armbands on when they eat soup

My grandfather on spoiling his grandkids: "I'd rather give gifts with warm hands than cold hands"

Feisar

Oh they’re the cut and peal of their ould fella.

Feisar

She put a horn on me that’d bait a bad ass out of a sand pit.

CPTM

Mehaffey1 wrote: »

He/She needs armbands on when they eat soup

What's this one about?!

Fitz*

A rolling sausage gathers no gravy.

Mehaffey1

CPTM wrote: »

What's this one about?!

I took it to mean they were useless, could be clumsy aswell

Woodsie1

"Fierce lazy wind today,goes through ya,wont go round ya!"

Mongfinder General

How's your Ma, is your Da workin'?

Gregor Samsa

My father in law was telling us about a "mink or a badger" that came into his kitchen and started eating the cat's food. I was always taken by the contrast between the violence of his actions and the soft language he used to describe them.

FIL: He started eating the cat's food. So I went looking for a stick to beat him with.
Wife: Why did you want to beat it?
FIL: To kill it, I suppose.
Wife: But why were you trying to kill it?
FIL: Sure, you'd do all right without a fella like that coming in.

Hector Savage

"She's fond of the fella that runs with the hens" - she's a slapper.

Zadkiel

My Nana had a good one for people short on banter, " he's so dry he'd fart flour".

Always thought that was great.

One of the funniest ones I ever heard was in one of the 'Overheard in Dublin' threads. A young one saw a good looking chap and said something like
"jaysis he's massive me box is tryin to eat me leg"

Hector Savage

Hedgelayer wrote: »

Always arrive at the party with one arm longer than the other...

Meaning don't turn up with out a bottle or food or something perishable

Same but switched - "Don't turn up with one arm as long as the other"

DavyD_83

He/she could eat an apple through a letterbox