Nice turn of phrase you've heard

Hector Savage

ScoobyDosent wrote: »

"He'd crawl 5 miles on his hands and knees over broken glass to sniff the wheels of the van that brought her knickers to the dry cleaners ."

I like when speaking of an attractive lady - like Natalie Portman : - "I would crawl through broken glass and barbed wire - just to suck the cock of the last guy that f*cked her"

A Knight of Ireland

"Only dead fish go with the flow"

Hector Savage

My grandad used to say when he was starving

"I'm so hungry I'd eat a horse and chase the jockey"

And the less PC

"I'm so hungry I'd eat a childs arse through a chair"

CPTM

Hector Savage wrote: »

My grandad used to say when he was starving

"I'm so hungry I'd eat a horse and chase the jockey"

Haha, that's a good one

DrPhilG

Hector Savage wrote: »

"I'm so hungry I'd eat a childs arse through a chair"

"I could eat the head off a scabby wain" is the version around here.

3rdDegree

From Tipperary (I think): "I'm broke to the jaws of Jaysus". Meaning "I have absolutely no money whatsoever".

Tipp is gas, isn't it?

magic_murph

_blaaz wrote: »

You'd see more meat on a tinkers stick after a fight



Reference to a very thin person

You'd see more meat on good Friday (reference to a skinny person)

magic_murph

DrPhilG wrote: »

"I could eat the head off a scabby wain" is the version around here.

I'd eat the crotch of a low flying duck.

Hector Savage

"She'd put a horn on ya that would bring order to a Wicklow GAA match"

Think that was from a Ross O carrol kelly book ...

DrPhilG

Cracker I've never heard before until it featured on Derry Girls...

"That woman has a smell off her that would turn an Orange march"

trashcan

Hector Savage wrote: »

"She'd put a horn on ya that would bring order to a Wicklow GAA match"

Think that was from a Ross O carrol kelly book ...

The one I remember from Ross was "I had a baton on me that would put manners on a reclaim the streets march"

storker

One of my dad's...

"There's great freedom in having no choice."

Neames

In response to someone saying the early bird gets the worm....

It's always the second mouse gets the cheese.

Up Donegal

Franz Von Peppercorn II wrote: »

He’d turn up for the opening of an envelope.

(A politician or other worthy who goes to lots of events).

Good One!:D:)

Up Donegal

He/she would talk sh1te for Ireland!!

Up Donegal

Feisar wrote: »

She put a horn on me that’d bait a bad ass out of a sand pit.

Something similar:

She'd give a horn to a snowman!

Up Donegal

adgib wrote: »

To someone wearing cheap perfume or aftershave, you smell like the inside of a whores handbag

If it was said to me, my reply would be "How do you know what the inside of a whore's handbag smells like??"

Up Donegal

About someone who's known to be light-fingered:

She/he would steal the milk from your tea!

I work at a deli and while making up a wrap for someone this week they told me I have more questions for them than the guards... made me laugh

miamee

I have a mouth on me like Ghandi's flip-flop!

(I'm parched)

sligojoek

I'd eat the leg of the lamb of god.

Dick phelan

Money won't make you someone your not, it allows you to be who you really are.

Never step on anyone's toes to get ahead, in the future they may lead to the ass you need to kiss

God doesn't take a check (Meaning your money's no good to you when you die)

Feisar

storker wrote: »

One of my dad's...

"There's great freedom in having no choice."

Really like that one!

Feisar

Oh I'd say they'd cut yer hair with yer hat on.

Referring to a cute hoor.

A good pun is its own reword.

amber2

It’s like rubbing lard to a fat pigs arse.

After a gatherer comes a scatterer.

boombang

Cool as a breeze

branie2

He'd rob you of a decade of the rosary

I've seen more fat on an oven chip.

He'd rob the eye out of your head and come back for your eyelashes.

He'd get up on a cracked plate.

sligojoek

She's a pair of legs on her that would kickstart a JCB on a frosty morning.