Nice turn of phrase you've heard

Purple Mountain

jimbobaloobob wrote: »

Ive heard some ferocious ones that i think are hardly turns of phrase more put downs

Like someone with protruding teeth.
'He could eat an apple through a tennis racquet.'

jimbobaloobob

Worse than that purple.

johnayo

She had a fanny like a ripped out fireplace.

Franz Von Peppercorn II

My dad is stoic when he loses on the horses.

“Not a bad horse. Took ten horses to beat him”.

malinheader

The tide wouldn't take her (or him) out.

Atlantic Dawn

"Des Kelly wouldn't lay her"

Janeys gotta bun

In my younger days having given my boyfriend a lovebite. Overheard his buddy say "she could eat an apple through a tennis racket". No regrets.

DrPhilG

Something/someone small = "not the size of a good shyte"

A short person = "not the size of a big dog sitting"

A nervous person = "shaking like a sh*tting dog"

Someone with big teeth = "could chew a turnip through a letterbox", "could eat an apple through a tennis racket"

irishgrover

Gremlinertia wrote:

I'd eat the leg of the lamb of god

I'd eat the c*nt off a low flying duck

Janeys gotta bun

DrPhilG wrote: »

Something/someone small = "not the size of a good shyte"

A short person = "not the size of a big dog sitting"

A nervous person = "shaking like a sh*tting dog"

Someone with big teeth = "could chew a turnip through a letterbox", "could eat an apple through a tennis racket"

Just to clarify. I don't have big teeth.

Nobelium

"Nice turn of phrase you've heard"

Not one of these are nice, in fact they are the exact opposite. What a depressing place.

DrPhilG

Make your mind up ="shyte or get off the pot"

Stingy ="tight as a duck's arse underwater" or "tight as a camel's hole in a sandstorm".

Charlie19

For a stubborn person.

They'd decline a box of matches and carry on to rub sticks.

Deub

A quote my dad uses when I worry about something: " Fear doesn't avoid danger"

jbt123

Being a Grandparent is Gods reward for being a parent yourself.

sligojoek

gingerhousewife wrote: »

"An empty house is better than a bad tenant"

Wise words of wisdom from my dad after I puked from too many pints, aged 19.

My father used to say that after farting.

sligojoek

Colonel Claptrap wrote: »

It would be like throwing a sausage up O'Connell street.

johnayo wrote: »

She had a fanny like a ripped out fireplace.

Like opening the drapes and fúcking the night.

ILoveYourVibes

“If only it should only happen to me.”

''All his money went to Hell.''/ ''All his money went to heaven.''

sligojoek

After watching the behaviour of a customer in a pub a few years ago I decided to bar him the next night he came in. After 10 minutes of pleading and begging he came up with this gem.

"If St. Peter is anything like you, heaven is going to be a lonely place for me."

Before he left he left me with another one.

"Ya fúckin príck."

jonski

An old phrase for diarrhoea - the hurry out and the delay abroad .
You'll pay dearly for that - that'll be the rock you'll perish on .

ILoveYourVibes

excira and delighra

ideb

"There's no pockets in a shroud".

Meaning we can't take our money with us when we die. A way of saying live now/don't be worried about money.

Hedgelayer

Always arrive at the party with one arm longer than the other...

Meaning don't turn up with out a bottle or food or something perishable

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

"I'm so hungry I could eat out of a scabby nappy"

"I'd suck farts out of her arse"

Charlie19

They're so mean that they only breath in.

Immortal Starlight

Your a little treasure, you should be taken out and buried.

She wouldn’t run too well on soft ground.

steddyeddy

He/she thinks manual labor is a Spanish musician.

DrPhilG

ideb wrote: »

"There's no pockets in a shroud".

Meaning we can't take our money with us when we die. A way of saying live now/don't be worried about money.

And no tow-bar on a hearse.

DrPhilG

Tight arse = "he wouldn't swap you a thick penny for a thin one"

riemann

Shemale wrote: »

I am very witty

Self praise is no praise