Nice turn of phrase you've heard

Stop moaning ffs

He Should be shot with balls of his own shyte

* self explanatory I hope

Strumms

We used to have a teacher and when he’d want to give you a dressing down would get you to stand up, deliver his ‘talking to’ then finish with...”now sit down there like a good lad and take the weight off the floor”

FMG

He'd ate a picture of the Last Supper .

Sharp MZ700

I could ate the back feet of a low flying duck. (I'm starving)

DrPhilG

He couldn't even lay straight in the bed.

*dishonest

moonage

That's about as suspicious as a nun doing squats in a cucumber field.

Seanieke

"Flat out like a badger on a bypass"

El_Duderino 09

Seanieke wrote: »

"Flat out like a badger on a bypass"

Couple of variations of the same one.

Flat-out (pause to sound like you're actually busy) like an egg in a pan.
Flat-out... Like a lizard drinking


Hungover
"how are you after last night"?
"sick as a hospital" or "sick as a bus to Lourdes"

Stop moaning ffs

If it was raining soup he’d be out with a fork

BENDYBINN

A lucky man..
If he threw up **** it would come down as chocolate...

sligojoek

^^^^^^^^

The opposite.

If he fell into a barrel of tits he'd come out sucking his thumb.

skooterblue2

This is my Aunts favourite phrase and funnily enough it applies to herself.

(After hearing someone had passed away)... "Hell won't be full without him/her!"

DrPhilG

BENDYBINN wrote: »

A lucky man..
If he threw up **** it would come down as chocolate...

If he fell in the river he'd come up with a salmon in his mouth

Seanachai

Guy I worked with told me about a fella where he's from used to say, 'Burst pipe and phuck it!' a lot when he was under pressure.

Another one is, 'I never met the baytings of him', in other words I never met anybody like him.

'She'd turn the milk sour', pretty self explanatory

NoteAgent

"That's about as useful as Anne Frank's drumset"

rainbowdrop

"I've seen better legs hanging out a snack box"
"Better legs hanging out a nest"

When my Dad wanted us to do something for him when we were younger, and we complained:

" No good in having a dog and barking yourself"

Private Joker

I'd eat the back wheel off a menstrual cycle

Private Joker

i wouldn't ride her into battle

sligojoek

He thinks he knows it all but he doesn't know enough to know that he knows nothing.

Tweeter

A sniper wouldn't take her out

She's seen more helmets than Hitler

You've a neck like a giraffe

Captain Red Beard

sligojoek wrote: »

He thinks he knows it all but he doesn't know enough to know that he knows nothing.

If he had two brains he'd be twice as stupid.

If he had a brain cell it would die of loneliness.

Stop moaning ffs

Private Joker wrote: »

i wouldn't ride her into battle

I genuinely am laughing out loud. This is gas
Thank you

the14thwarrior

a few fries short of a happy meal

elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor

yo yo knickers

more meat on a butchers apron (skinny)

relax the cax (and give me sex)

trashcan

Stop moaning ffs wrote: »

He Should be shot with balls of his own shyte

* self explanatory I hope

Never quite understood this one. I mean, if I have to be shot with balls of Shyte, I'll take my own rather than someone else's, thanks

trashcan

He/she has a face like a bulldog licking p1ss off a nettle

Captain Red Beard

Same soup, just reheated.

Rows Grower

trashcan wrote: »

Never quite understood this one. I mean, if I have to be shot with balls of Shyte, I'll take my own rather than someone else's, thanks

I think it means nobody else in the world would give a **** for ya.

Up Donegal

You've a face on ye like a bulldog chewing a wasp!

passremarkable

Cute hoor
No flies on him, and if there was they be paying rent

Domestos wouldn’t shift her( wouldn’t kiss an ugly girl)

Water always find its own level
(Someone been perceived in a certain way and duly acting that way)