Nice turn of phrase you've heard

CPTM

Have you any clever/funny expressions you've heard along the way? I had an old manager who was full of them:

He's all hat and no cattle (nothing material behind his words)

If you turned sideways we'd mark you absent (you're skinny)

[Sighing,shaking head] It's not even about winning anymore, it's about what you lose by.

[About someone who has all the gossip] I tell you what, I bet you hear the grass grow. You hear everything!

I do have a heart you know, not just a swinging brick on a rope.

Any nice ones you've come across?

"Humanity has been crossed."

trashcan

One of my favourites is "Don't p1ss on my leg and tell me it's raining."

branie2

If you fall and break your legs, don't come running to me!

Speedsie

"I'm as dry as a Drake in a hay loft"

Translation, I'm parched.

_blaaz

You'd see more meat on a tinkers stick after a fight



Reference to a very thin person

Blazedup

trashcan wrote:

One of my favourites is "Don't p1ss on my leg and tell me it's raining."

Judge Judy

Cee-Jay-Cee

I’m so hungry I’d eat the bare arse of a nun through the convent gates.

Conall Cernach

He'd be in the crib at Christmas.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.

4ensic15

I'd drink out of a tinker's knickers.

Gremlinertia

I'd eat the leg of the lamb of god

Plumbthedepths

It is better to have people think you are an idiot, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

corner of hells

I'm that hungry, I'd eat the arse of a low flying duck.

omerin

trashcan wrote: »

One of my favourites is "Don't p1ss on my leg and tell me it's raining."

Mainly heard when in the company of Sean O'Brien

BuboBubo

I'm so hungry I'd eat a horse between two breadvans.

If your aunt had balls she'd be your uncle.

You'd use less petrol driving over him than driving around him.

He'd get up on a hairy rasher.

Archeron

I'm buying you a roundy bed so you can't get out the wrong side of it.

Franz Von Peppercorn II

BuboBubo wrote: »

If your aunt had balls she'd be your uncle.
.

Not necessarily these days.

memorystick

An empty bag is a happy bag.

Franz Von Peppercorn II

He’d turn up for the opening of an envelope.

(A politician or other worthy who goes to lots of events).

Purple Mountain

Not so much a phrase but a term.
'Hakiecock' - country word for a person (usually a woman) who has their nose in everyone's business.

Similar to an 'altar licker' - someone who is a holy Joe.

branie2

You'd eat that if you were in Africa

flazio

Any craic?
Response: Just the one I sit on.

Gimme A Pound

trashcan wrote: »

One of my favourites is "Don't p1ss on my leg and tell me it's raining."

In a southern US accent: "Don't spit on mah cupcake and call it frawstin!"

Frynge

I was born at night, but I wasn't born last night.

Sorry about that

Mackerel sky.

Hibernicis

You can spend it on good food or spend it on doctors

gingerhousewife

"An empty house is better than a bad tenant"

Wise words of wisdom from my dad after I puked from too many pints, aged 19.

branie2

Hunger is a good sauce

Sleeper12

My favourite one from my father is "he has a neck like a jockeys boll0x"

Johnnycanyon

He would mind mice at a crossroads.

Poochie05

I didn’t float up the Lagan in a bubble

griffin100

You can’t put the sh1te back in the cow.

The Irish version of no point crying over spilt milk.

mad muffin

”Your breath smells like gobshïte”

My 8 year old son… :pac:

ILoveYourVibes

The Devil is beating his wife.

Rain when the sun is shining.

If God lived on earth, people would break his windows.

If the rich could hire the poor to die for them, the poor would make a very nice living.

anewme

Time to say...thread fail.

jimbobaloobob

It was said in Irish at a currach race one, one of the competitors was making a monaghans mother of rowing the boat and the lad beside me said "He wouldnt managed to wash his face in the sink".

IAMAMORON

You'd be a horse of a man if you could shít while your walking.

or

If you had brains you'd be dangerous.

Sorry about that

"If there was work in the bed, he'd sleep on the floor."

razorblunt

Don’t argue with an idiot, they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

jimbobaloobob

That lad would pick a fight with his toe nails.

castletownman

'He'd peel an orange in his pocket'- someone who is very stingy.

My favourite saying from my uncle is : 'he's like a blind skunk that fell in love with a fart'. Not entirely sure of its meaning, but I think it refers to a lad who is a bit clueless.

myshirt

She had a fanny on her no better than a torn slipper.

Shemale

If I wanted to hear an arsehole I would have farted

I got on great with the cleaner of a place I used to work, I am very witty and I was in my 20s and she was 50s from the inner city and I was trying to wind her up and she nailed me with this:

"I'm too big of a cat to be taken in by a kitten" I am in my 40s and I use it myself now

reap-a-rat

Conall Cernach wrote: »

He'd be in the crib at Christmas.

What does this one mean?

shopper2011

Something my mum uaed to say to us when we'd be out alot - "Your like cows sh1t, your never off the road"

myshirt

reap-a-rat wrote: »

What does this one mean?

It's the same as saying "That fella, he's the type you'd invite him to the communion and he'd stay on for the confirmation".

Someone who overstays their welcome and gets too comfortable. Starts eating your food out of the fridge. Taking showers in your house. And you just invited them over for the evening.

Colonel Claptrap

It would be like throwing a sausage up O'Connell street.

He broke his nose with his mouth.

All mouth and no trousers.

corner of hells

gingerhousewife wrote: »

"An empty house is better than a bad tenant"

Wise words of wisdom from my dad after I puked from too many pints, aged 19.

"You're like a madmans ****e , all over the place "
My dad to a cyclist, one evening on the quays.