Nice turn of phrase you've heard

CPTM

Have you any clever/funny expressions you've heard along the way? I had an old manager who was full of them:

He's all hat and no cattle (nothing material behind his words)

If you turned sideways we'd mark you absent (you're skinny)

[Sighing,shaking head] It's not even about winning anymore, it's about what you lose by.

[About someone who has all the gossip] I tell you what, I bet you hear the grass grow. You hear everything!

I do have a heart you know, not just a swinging brick on a rope.

Any nice ones you've come across?

"Humanity has been crossed."

trashcan

One of my favourites is "Don't p1ss on my leg and tell me it's raining."

branie2

If you fall and break your legs, don't come running to me!

Speedsie

"I'm as dry as a Drake in a hay loft"

Translation, I'm parched.

_blaaz

You'd see more meat on a tinkers stick after a fight



Reference to a very thin person

Blazedup

trashcan wrote:

One of my favourites is "Don't p1ss on my leg and tell me it's raining."

Judge Judy

Cee-Jay-Cee

I’m so hungry I’d eat the bare arse of a nun through the convent gates.

Conall Cernach

He'd be in the crib at Christmas.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.

4ensic15

I'd drink out of a tinker's knickers.

Gremlinertia

I'd eat the leg of the lamb of god

Plumbthedepths

It is better to have people think you are an idiot, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

corner of hells

I'm that hungry, I'd eat the arse of a low flying duck.

omerin

trashcan wrote: »

One of my favourites is "Don't p1ss on my leg and tell me it's raining."

Mainly heard when in the company of Sean O'Brien

BuboBubo

I'm so hungry I'd eat a horse between two breadvans.

If your aunt had balls she'd be your uncle.

You'd use less petrol driving over him than driving around him.

He'd get up on a hairy rasher.

Archeron

I'm buying you a roundy bed so you can't get out the wrong side of it.

Franz Von Peppercorn II

BuboBubo wrote: »

If your aunt had balls she'd be your uncle.
.

Not necessarily these days.

memorystick

An empty bag is a happy bag.

Franz Von Peppercorn II

He’d turn up for the opening of an envelope.

(A politician or other worthy who goes to lots of events).

Purple Mountain

Not so much a phrase but a term.
'Hakiecock' - country word for a person (usually a woman) who has their nose in everyone's business.

Similar to an 'altar licker' - someone who is a holy Joe.

branie2

You'd eat that if you were in Africa

flazio

Any craic?
Response: Just the one I sit on.

Gimme A Pound

trashcan wrote: »

One of my favourites is "Don't p1ss on my leg and tell me it's raining."

In a southern US accent: "Don't spit on mah cupcake and call it frawstin!"

Frynge

I was born at night, but I wasn't born last night.

Sorry about that

Mackerel sky.

Hibernicis

You can spend it on good food or spend it on doctors

gingerhousewife

"An empty house is better than a bad tenant"

Wise words of wisdom from my dad after I puked from too many pints, aged 19.

branie2

Hunger is a good sauce

Sleeper12

My favourite one from my father is "he has a neck like a jockeys boll0x"

Johnnycanyon

He would mind mice at a crossroads.