Nice turn of phrase you've heard

Colonel Claptrap

Nobelium wrote: »

"Nice turn of phrase you've heard"

Not one of these are nice, in fact they are the exact opposite. What a depressing place.

Don't mind him^. He's harmless.

4ensic15

He wouldn't give you the steam off his piss.

If he had a brain cell it would die of loneliness.

My dad has loads of random sayings that he just says for no particular reason, his latest one is "Every little helps said the oul wan as she pished into the ocean",

the beer revolu

He should be shoved up a dog's arse and the dog shot.

Hedgelayer

I'm here because I'm not all there

the beer revolu

He wouldn't work to keep warm.

DrPhilG

He should be shot with a ball of his own shyte

everlast75

About a politician greedy for publicity - "he'd go to the opening of an envelope"

When someone asks you how are things - "ah ya know, same soup - just reheated"

Always like the quote from a previous US president "speak softly and carry a big stick".

And one from Futurama...

"Arguing with an idiot is a lot like wrestling a pig You both get dirty and, after a few hours you realize... the pig likes it"

adgib

Fanny like a torn sofa

steddyeddy

That's a right how's your father.

Franz Von Peppercorn II

Nobelium wrote: »

"Nice turn of phrase you've heard"

Not one of these are nice, in fact they are the exact opposite. What a depressing place.

This from you, a poster full of sweetness and light, is upsetting.

olestoepoke

Honesty is the road to poverty

trashcan

Poochie05 wrote: »

I didn’t float up the Lagan in a bubble

Less of the Paisley there fella

Filmer Paradise

Stingy; 'If he was a Ghost, he wouldn't give you a fright!.

branie2

Save your breath to cool your porridge!

Conall Cernach

reap-a-rat wrote: »

What does this one mean?

It means someone that is always in everything where people will see him. You know he's in the local paper a couple of times a week or he does amateur dramatics, gives out communion, does the bingo calling, turns up at book launches and has to get his picture taken shaking hands with the author maybe even giving the crowd a few of his own anecdotes etc.


"I see Paddy in the paper with the Sam Maguire."


"Oh he'd be in the crib at Christmas."

K.Flyer

Conall Cernach wrote: »

It means someone that is always in everything where people will see him. You know he's in the local paper a couple of times a week or he does amateur dramatics, gives out communion, does the bingo calling, turns up at book launches and has to get his picture taken shaking hands with the author maybe even giving the crowd a few of his own anecdotes etc.


"I see Paddy Shane Ross in the paper with the Sam Maguire."


"Oh he'd be in the crib at Christmas."

fyp, Sorry, couldn't resist

Philipx

"Madder than a freshly f@@ked sheep"..... Someone who is a tad annoyed :P

Yester

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, you probably don't understand the situation.

s7ryf3925pivug

"Fair enough" - to indicate mildly apathetic acceptance.
"OK" - nothing significant is wrong.
"lashing rain" - rain falling down so violently it is like being whipped.
"yum" - an exclamation indicating you like the taste of something. Its phonetic similarity to spontaneous "mm" noises indicating the same thing make this quite expressive.

Roanmore

Taken from a Nighthawks sketch (yep, I’m that old).

“My heart pumps piss for ya”.
Translation “I couldn’t give a ****e”

Beechwoodspark

Rough as a badgers arse hole

Face like a bulldog chewin a thistle

branie2

Your face will stay like that when the wind changes

everlast75

luck is when preparedness meets opportunity

ToddyDoody

Sometimes the juice isn't worth the squeeze.

Rubberlegs

Better to have what you don't need than need what you don't have.
I'm fond of trotting that one out when given out to for packing too much to take away

Jet Black

Don't assume, it makes an ass out of you and me. ass/u/me.

UFO. You feck off.

Eaten porridge is soon forgotten.

Don't tell that to a jockey.

I'd suck the farts out of her arse.

I'll streel out of her. ( Don't know the spelling but to pull someone around by the hair)

Nikki Sixx

BuboBubo wrote: »

I'm so hungry I'd eat a horse between two breadvans.

If your aunt had balls she'd be your uncle.

You'd use less petrol driving over him than driving around him.

He'd get up on a hairy rasher.

Can you explain the aunt one?

DeanAustin

Golf one. Had to think about this first time I heard it. I said to my playing partner, “Just about” when he holed a putt.

Without missing a beat, he replied, “I’d rather nearly miss it than nearly get it.”

everlast75

Nikki Sixx wrote: »

Can you explain the aunt one?

People who try to excuse things away..

If this happened then..

If that didn't happen then...

Well, if my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle