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Are short men disadvantaged in the dating world?

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    #92
    mikemac2
    Registered Users Posts: 2,927 ✭✭✭mikemac2


    shakeitoff wrote: »
    Of course it matters. A short guy(and short isn't 5'2'', it's anything below 5'10''

    Wow, most of the population is short so


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    #93
    mvl
    Registered Users Posts: 1,229 ✭✭✭mvl


    Cleopatra_ wrote: »
    During my tinder days I came across profiles where men would mention their height "because it seems to be important around here" and it only occurred to me then that it seems to be a dealbreaker for other women.

    anyone mentioning shoe size in same context ?
    guess it can be almost as important as height (some adhere to goldilocks principle on this)


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    #94
    Littlehorny
    Registered Users Posts: 2,351 ✭✭✭Littlehorny


    I am a short guy (hence the user name) but don't lack confidence because of it, I have been turned down by a woman in the past because I was too short and that's fine because you either fancy someone or you don't but I think the hard part for lads in this situation is your height is one of the few things you cannot change about yourself.
    I know this woman socially and she has been single for quite a while so maybe she's very fussy about the checklist she has for a potential suitor.


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    #95
    milli milli
    Registered Users Posts: 1,247 ✭✭✭milli milli


    Littlehorny wrote: »
    I know this woman socially and she has been single for quite a while so maybe she's very fussy about the checklist she has for a potential suitor.

    I think you are a little bit sore about being turned down by this woman?
    Maybe she’s single because she wants to be. Did she actually say being short was the reason she turned you down? Or are you assuming?
    Height isn’t the superficial thing that people think. We all have preferences. We all have advantages & disadvantages in the dating world.


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    #96
    Amirani
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 12,521 Mod ✭✭✭✭Amirani


    mikemac2 wrote: »
    Wow, most of the population is short so

    Yeah, around 50% or so of the male population in Ireland is shorter than 5'10. If you treat height as a binary variable, yeah fine, anything under that it short and anything above that is tall. But do people really think in those terms? Would the OP consider somebody that's 5'11 tall?


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    #97
    starWave
    Registered Users Posts: 391 ✭✭starWave


    Amirani wrote: »
    Yeah, around 50% or so of the male population in Ireland is shorter than 5'10. If you treat height as a binary variable, yeah fine, anything under that it short and anything above that is tall. But do people really think in those terms? Would the OP consider somebody that's 5'11 tall?

    Height follows a normal distribution, you have most people near the average, with a few very short or very tall.


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    #98
    Amirani
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 12,521 Mod ✭✭✭✭Amirani


    starWave wrote: »
    Height follows a normal distribution, you have most people near the average, with a few very short or very tall.

    It does follow a normal distribution, but that doesn't mean anything really unless you know the standard deviation.


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    #99
    Pug160
    Registered Users Posts: 1,088 ✭✭✭Pug160


    I'm only speaking from observation here, but it does seem as though there is some kind split going on with women, where it appears there are quite a lot of these almost Amazonian young women alongside the more 'regular' women of around 5'3''/5'4'' or so. Some people seem to be of the belief that women are actually catching up with men in terms of height but I see no evidence to back that up, and I'm not even sure if there are any plausible theories as to why it could happen. People in general are getting taller so both men and women are getting bigger. These tall women would almost certainly have even taller brothers.


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    #100
    lukin
    Registered Users Posts: 3,971 ✭✭✭lukin


    I am a bit late coming to this thread but I felt I had to make this point: I am amazed that this thread has gone to seven pages and nobody has mentioned one very obvious reason for women preferring tall men over shorter men: re-productive reasons. Obviously a woman knows if she has a child with a short guy that child will probably be short in stature also. Not such a problem if the child is a girl but a big problem if the child is a boy.
    I know I will get a load of replies saying "A woman wouldn't be thinking of something like that when she is talking to a guy for the first time". Maybe not but I wouldn't be so sure. A young girl in her early twenties probably wouldn't but a woman in her late twenties/early thirties very possibly would be thinking like that. It's perfectly understandable though, I wouldn't criticise a woman for thinking like that. It's a genetic thing that a female will want a partner that produces a healthy offspring. In the same way she will want to have children with a highly intelligent guy so his genes will be passed on.
    I am short myself (5 foot 6) and have found it a disadvantage in the dating world. That's not to say some girls have not found me attractive (and some of them were taller than me). But it's a massive drawback, no doubt about that. There has never been an occurrence in history where when faced with a choice, a woman has chosen a short guy over a tall guy.
    They just don't view a short guy the same way as they do a tall guy. They will like a short guy and think he is nice but they won't see him as potential boyfriend material. A tall guy can get away with having not as good a personality as a short guy. Women will compromise on a lot of things when it comes to choosing a partner (good looks, what he does for a living, dress sense, educational level) but will not compromise on height.
    If you are 5 foot 6 you can't expect to date a girl of average height (which in Ireland is five foot 6 I think). Because if she wears heels she is two inches taller than you. You have to go for a girl of five foot 2 or five foot 3. Even if she wears heels you will at least be the same height as her.
    But you have a much smaller pool to choose from because there aren't many girls of five foot 2/3 around.
    I am not a woman-hater or anti-women in any way. Most women are nice and will not say to you "f*** off you're too small" (it's never been said to me) but privately in their head they are rejecting you before you have opened your mouth. It's shallowness of course, no other word for it.
    We are always told that personality is the most important trait in a man to a woman so if that's the case then all tall men must have great personalities and all short guys must have terrible personalities because there are a lot more single short guys out there than single tall guys. But does anyone really believe that is true? Of course not, it's a load of nonsense.
    Factors such as personality are important yes but it's a man's height that will bring home the bacon in the dating game, make no mistake about that.


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    #101
    professore
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,857 ✭✭✭professore


    bubblypop wrote: »
    I don't believe so.
    You only need to look around to see fabulous looking ladies with,  let's say,  less than fabulous looking men.
    It's not something you see the other way around.
    To me it's because women are attracted to personalty,  men are more attracted to looks.
    Online dating might be different because it's looks based firstly. But in general if you meet a woman & you are charming, nice & genuine,  that is more important  than height
    Men are generally not looking for providers in the same way women are.  The average man couldn't care less what sort of career a woman has.


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    #102
    jobbridge4life
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,759 ✭✭✭jobbridge4life


    professore wrote: »
    Men are generally not looking for providers in the same way women are.  The average man couldn't care less what sort of career a woman has.

    Source for the bolded claim, please?

    I'd imagine that in determining the individual one chooses to build a life with, to have a family with, most men would probably be interested in the career of the woman. I'm not saying it is determinative in all cases but at the very least surely it is a significant consideration in these circumstances.


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    #103
    deandean
    Registered Users Posts: 2,229 ✭✭✭deandean


    Well, if a woman is looking for a tall guy as part of pre-reproductive selection, it helps explain why a lot of guys are attracted to a woman with decent breasts.
    Pre-reproductive selection, of course :)


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    #104
    lukin
    Registered Users Posts: 3,971 ✭✭✭lukin


    deandean wrote: »
    Well, if a woman is looking for a tall guy as part of pre-reproductive selection

    Like I said, I am amazed that nobody has mentioned this so far.


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    #105
    DancingFlames
    Registered Users Posts: 4 ✭DancingFlames


    Asking if women prefer tall men is like asking if women prefer men with brown hair, imo. Everyone has different tastes, you can't generalise half the population.


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    #106
    wakka12
    Registered Users Posts: 9,786 ✭✭✭wakka12


    professore wrote: »
    Men are generally not looking for providers in the same way women are.  The average man couldn't care less what sort of career a woman has.

    Society isnt like that anymore. Id say plenty of men and much less women int he past are looking for a partner who is sucessful and will be able to provide a comfortable lifestyle together, both as earners, in most young coupllings today both genders work.


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    #107
    professore
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,857 ✭✭✭professore


    wakka12 wrote: »
    professore wrote: »
    Men are generally not looking for providers in the same way women are.  The average man couldn't care less what sort of career a woman has.

    Society isnt like that anymore. Id say plenty of men and much less women int he past are looking for a partner who is sucessful and will be able to provide a comfortable lifestyle together, both as earners, in most young coupllings today both genders work.

    That's all well and good if there are no children involved. Once children come everything changes.


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    #108
    milli milli
    Registered Users Posts: 1,247 ✭✭✭milli milli


    I read recently that men who are attracted to smaller women might be because they see them as more nurturing and guys who are attracted to taller women view them to be more assertive & independent.

    Of course some guys don’t care about height either, but just thought this was interesting.

    Regarding men’s height and production, there is probably something there but I would definitely agree with the evolutionary reason of feeling protected with a taller man.


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    #109
    lukin
    Registered Users Posts: 3,971 ✭✭✭lukin


    I think a lot of short guys tell themselves it's not a huge disadvantage because they don't want to face up to the truth that it is a huge disadvantage.
    They bury their heads in the sand because it's more comfortable to them. I am short and am under no illusions about how big a disadvantage it is.


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    #110
    fly_agaric
    Registered Users Posts: 4,810 ✭✭✭fly_agaric


    I just did a google image search for "couples". For those who might be interested in the results, I can confirm the men (in the male-female pairings) seem to be a min. of 4 cm taller than the women. I think the internet might be telling me something through the medium of stock photography but it has lied to me before!:pac:


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    #111
    lukin
    Registered Users Posts: 3,971 ✭✭✭lukin


    fly_agaric wrote: »
    I just did a google image search for "couples". For those who might be interested in the results, I can confirm the men (in the male-female pairings) seem to be a min. of 4 cm taller than the women. I think the internet might be telling me something through the medium of stock photography but it has lied to me before!:pac:

    That's a depressing statistic for all short men. I'm not surprised though.


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    #112
    fly_agaric
    Registered Users Posts: 4,810 ✭✭✭fly_agaric


    lukin wrote: »
    That's a depressing statistic for all short men. I'm not surprised though.

    It was a tongue in cheek comment but I suppose it may say something about what the "norm" is (in the view of companies, advertisers, web designers, stock photography suppliers). There are far worse handicaps than being a bit on the short side though.


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    #113
    lukin
    Registered Users Posts: 3,971 ✭✭✭lukin


    fly_agaric wrote: »
    There are far worse handicaps than being a bit on the short side though.
    I don't think there is actually. I would say it's number one on the turn-off list for women.


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    #114
    Gimme A Pound
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,482 ✭✭✭Gimme A Pound


    In general I am more attracted to men my own height or taller - this isn't particularly tall by the way. I'm just over 5ft 4 and don't wear those crazy high heels.

    However, I have dated shorter guys and been very attracted to them, so it's a "bendable rule".

    Putting "Must be x height" on a dating profile however - I'd never do that. Find it quite obnoxious.

    I'm pale with black hair though, and curvy (not curvy as a euphemism for fat) and if men prefer blonde, darker skinned, very slender women, fine by me - personal preference is not something that we can control.

    Although I do think people can be surprised by whom they fancy at times - I don't think we should limit ourselves.


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    #115
    jon1981
    Registered Users Posts: 4,359 ✭✭✭jon1981


    lukin wrote: »
    I think a lot of short guys tell themselves it's not a huge disadvantage because they don't want to face up to the truth that it is a huge disadvantage.
    They bury their heads in the sand because it's more comfortable to them. I am short and am under no illusions about how big a disadvantage it is.

    Ah lad you need a dose of confidence or something. Blaming height is ridiculous. I'm not blessed with the height genes but it hasn't stopped me doing very well in my career and romantic life ( married with kids) ... i also had a lot of fun in my younger years in college, funny i never actually considered my height as an issue ( 5ft 7)...ok yeah i noticed taller guys but never thought anything of it.

    Confidence is attractive and you need to cultivate it somehow. Of course there are genetic advantages in life but that's life! I'm a believer of not looking at what the other guy has that you don't but more what do i have and how can i define myself to be successful.


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    #116
    Gimme A Pound
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,482 ✭✭✭Gimme A Pound


    I don't think 5ft 7 is short though. It's taller than me and I'm not a short woman.


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    #117
    wakka12
    Registered Users Posts: 9,786 ✭✭✭wakka12


    5'7'' is tall for a woman but its short for a man , Im college age so people my age are taller than national average and the vast vast majority of guys like over 85% seem to fall between 5'8'' and 6 '2'', Im 5'9'' and I feel about average height and a lot of guys are same height as me but I rarely meet men who are much smaller than me


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    #118
    lukin
    Registered Users Posts: 3,971 ✭✭✭lukin


    I read a very funny post on quora.com about this very subject.
    A person asked "If women don't care about looks in a relationship why don’t they like short men? Isn't height part of a man's physicality?" A person replied: "Easy answer; they're lying".
    I notice a lot of replies here from females saying "I once dated a short man". Yeah but you didn't stay with him did you? There was even a post (later deleted) from a woman saying she was married to a man of 6 feet 2 but height was not an issue for her. :D It's just comical.
    Where are all these 5 foot 9 stunners who are with 5 foot 6 shorties? I'm not saying it doesn't happen but it's extremely rare.
    Posters here are talking about it as if it's commonplace. It's not.


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    #119
    Dial Hard
    Registered Users Posts: 13,413 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard


    Braelynn Flabby Strictness wrote:
    I don't think 5ft 7 is short though. It's taller than me and I'm not a short woman.

    A lot of it depends on one's own perspective. I'm 5' 7" (female) and I certainly don't consider myself tall. All the men in my family are over 6' so for me, that's average height for a man.


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    #120
    Gimme A Pound
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,482 ✭✭✭Gimme A Pound


    Nothing negates my point though. Even if a woman prefers a man to be her height or taller, this might still only mean 5ft 7 or 8. It doesn't always mean 6ft adonis.

    Personally I (as I said earlier) will admit no problem that I generally prefer men to be my height or taller (as I'm 5ft 4.5, that's not tall - but for a woman my height isn't short either though, it's about average, yet 5ft 7 is still a fair bit taller than me) however the "rules" we have about our ideal type can and do bend. We can end up being attracted to someone whom we never thought we would be attracted to. So I wouldn't rule it out. Yeah I've dated guys who were a bit shorter than I and no, I'm not with one now, but things didn't end due to his height.

    Also, men often don't want to date women who are taller than them.


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    #121
    Potatoeman
    Registered Users Posts: 4,240 ✭✭✭Potatoeman


    Only 10-15 percent of men are 6ft and over. So it’s limiting their options if they are screening out men under that height. There will be more competition too.

    Though once you hit thirty it’s men screening out women based on age. So it all evens out over time.


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