Are short men disadvantaged in the dating world?

_Dara_

Dial Hard wrote: »

I'd consider it short, yes. But I accept that my perspective is probably skewed as all the men in my family are over 6' so to me, that's average.

I don’t know if being from a tall family even matters. My father at 5’8” is the tallest member of my immediate family (my bro is 5’7”, I’m 5’3.5” and my sister and mother are both 5’2”) and I consider my father to be a short man and us to be a short family. 5’8” is IMO definitely on the short side for a guy. My father and brother are shorter than most men they stand beside.

TerrorFirmer

I'm 5"11 so height has never been much of a factor for me (and I'm perfectly OK with the odd woman that's taller than me too) but I'm constantly amazed by the amount of women who specify "must be over 5'10" or whatever in their online dating bio....many of them, themselves, only 5"4 or whatever.

I agree that it's a ridiculous paper requirement that probably wouldn't even crop up if you'd met these people organically on a night out....but with so many people turning to online methods of meeting people these days, it would be a bit disheartening. But as someone said above it really isn't going to make or break you finding a partner.

Pretty sure the average height is something like 5"10, definitely not 5"8.

_Dara_

TerrorFirmer wrote: »

I'm 5"11 so height has never been much of a factor for me (and I'm perfectly OK with the odd woman that's taller than me too) but I'm constantly amazed by the amount of women who specify "must be over 5'10" or whatever in their online dating bio....many of them, themselves, only 5"4 or whatever.

I agree that it's a ridiculous paper requirement that probably wouldn't even crop up if you'd met these people organically on a night out....but with so many people turning to online methods of meeting people these days, it would be a bit disheartening. But as someone said above it really isn't going to make or break you finding a partner.

Pretty sure the average height is something like 5"10, definitely not 5"8.

Well, you don’t necessarily take into account your own appearance when you state your preferences. What a person is attracted to can’t be helped. I’ve heard overweight folks state before that they’d prefer a healthy-weight partner if possible.

It’s hypocritical, I guess, but it’s also something that can’t be helped.

I also doubt that the average height for an Irish man is 5’8”.

In this era of acknowledging mental health etc. it is worth remembering that a lot of short men can be very depressed about their height even if they don't show it in everyday life. This can be caused by constantly getting made aware that you possess an unattactive physical trait which you can't change. I'm sure throughout history it has always sucked to be short but in a world where the norm is gradually becoming to be over 6 foot as a man, it can hurt more acutely than ever.

myshirt

A lot of men overestimate their height as well and think they are taller.

mvl

do people realize that women (and men not as much) shrink with age (late 40s' or so)- so guessing for settler partners the height differences could become more acceptable for ppl who end up compromising

prokofiev

Here's a question...whats too tall? When does height start to be a turn off?

Triceratops Ballet

prokofiev wrote:

Here's a question...whats too tall? When does height start to be a turn off?

Surely it's all relative? I went on a few dates with a dude who was 6'9, that's a foot taller than me, I didn't think anything of it. Someone who's 5'4 might find it troublesome

Keepaneye

Not just in the dating world.

As I get older I find that any boss, manager etc (unless a woman) are almost always at least 6 ft or above. Not to mention a lot of sports stars have the benefit of height.

Just like (a lot not all) men are naturally drawn to bigger breasts and curvy(not fat) figures on women, women will invariably always go for the tall men due to biological attraction and no amount of social construct can change science.

One eyed Jack

[Deleted User] wrote: »

In this era of acknowledging mental health etc. it is worth remembering that a lot of short men can be very depressed about their height even if they don't show it in everyday life. This can be caused by constantly getting made aware that you possess an unattactive physical trait which you can't change. I'm sure throughout history it has always sucked to be short but in a world where the norm is gradually becoming to be over 6 foot as a man, it can hurt more acutely than ever.

Isn't that though more of an underlying issue of self-esteem rather than the physical trait itself? As in whether it's unattractive or something that occurs to them at all is a matter of their own perception of themselves and something they have to deal with rather than anything someone else can do anything about?

shakeitoff

Funnily enough, while the Dutch are notoriously tall, their national team has one of the shortest teams in Europe currently.

ittakestwo

It would be a disadvantage in aproching women taller. But I would have thought shorter guys find shorter women more attractive? Seems to work both ways.

I guess taller guys would have an advantage that they will most likely be taller than all the women in a pub/club so the above is not as much as a factor in approaching somebody.

shakeitoff

ittakestwo wrote: »

It would be a disadvantage in aproching women taller. But I would have thought shorter guys find shorter women more attractive? Seems to work both ways.

I guess shorter guys would have an advantage that they will most likely be taller than all the women in a pub/club so the above is not as much as a factor in approaching somebody.

Yeah that's not how it works at all. If anything, despite Victoria Secret, a tall women is not necessarily the ideal(I personally find it attractive) but many guys actually like smaller girls regardless of their height.

Also, women don't compare men against themselves, they compare them to other men.

macchoille

Nah it matters, and the shorter a guy is the negative effect on their chances is exponential.

ittakestwo

shakeitoff wrote: »

Yeah that's not how it works at all. If anything, despite Victoria Secret, a tall women is not necessarily the ideal(I personally find it attractive) but many guys actually like smaller girls regardless of their height.

Also, women don't compare men against themselves, they compare them to other men.

Well I would say around 5ft7 and above for the most part its not going to be a issue.

I think there is a lot of physical traits the average man and women find attractive, but its by no means all or even if its a deal braker or not in a relationship. Nearly everyone will fall on some physical trait compared to the average so we cant be too picky or else we would all be single at the end of day.

FriendsEV

_Dara_ wrote: »

I also doubt that the average height for an Irish man is 5’8”.

Can't be far off

I'm 5'10 and in general I am taller than smaller than most Irish men, especially older ones

The young kids are different story, every 16 year old seems to be over 6 foot these days

worded

OP - Please edit thread title from “short” to “vertically challenged” men

silverharp

I remember hearing in passing that shorter men tend to make more money , I don't know how scientific that is as there is a definite CEO type height advantage but the argument I guess is that shorter men have more incentive to "peacock" through their careers.

wakka12

Its undeniably a disadvantage but that doesnt mean that its a dealbreaker

jobbridge4life

On the one hand there does seem to be a societaly preference for height, but I don't know real that is. Also I suppose a taller person can probably carry more weight without looking overweight.

On the other hand I think it is easier for shorter men to build impressive musculature.

starWave

silverharp wrote: »

I remember hearing in passing that shorter men tend to make more money , I don't know how scientific that is as there is a definite CEO type height advantage but the argument I guess is that shorter men have more incentive to "peacock" through their careers.

There was a study done that rated men's attractiveness based on a number of criteria. Tall men and rich men were found to be attractive, and a salary difference of €30,000 was found to be equal to 2 inches extra in height when rating how attractive men are.

Jim Bob Scratcher

I don't think height really matters to be honest. Just reading through this thread it's quite obvious that money is a much more significant factor when it comes to attracting a partner.

uck51js9zml2yt

My wife is 6" taller than me.height is not an issue:)

Dial Hard

shakeitoff wrote:

Yeah that's not how it works at all. If anything, despite Victoria Secret, a tall women is not necessarily the ideal(I personally find it attractive) but many guys actually like smaller girls regardless of their height.

Yeah, in my experience men definitely tend to like short/petite women. I think it brings out some kind of dormant protective-caveman thing in them.

It's probably the exact same evolutionary holdover that leads women to prefer tall men in the first place.

shakeitoff

Yeah, I always see girls say 'I'm not the tall 6 foot blonde bombshell' Girl, 6 foot is not an advantage unless you have exceptional looks.

Pug160

Dial Hard wrote: »

Yeah, in my experience men definitely tend to like short/petite women. I think it brings out some kind of dormant protective-caveman thing in them.

It's probably the exact same evolutionary holdover that leads women to prefer tall men in the first place.

Oh that's undeniable. But I would question whether or not it's an overwhelming majority. I think there are plenty of men who like taller women but who are probably just intimidated and feel more comfortable approaching smaller women and being around them. Taller women are certainly more striking than the average woman, but the really potent combination is when they're both very pretty and very tall.

In regards to the whole sexual dimorphism thing: I think intelligent women in particular seem to be more inclined to go after much bigger men. It's just my opinion of course, but I do think I've read about intelligent women actually being more picky when it comes to physical attractiveness. If there is some truth to that it would almost certainly mean that they would value height more as well.

milli milli

Dial Hard wrote: »

It's probably the exact same evolutionary holdover that leads women to prefer tall men in the first place.

This is the chief reason I prefer taller men. I’m 5’7” in bare feet and love to feel small and protected in a taller man’s embrace. But I’m not greedy - 5’9”/5’10” and over are fine with me, even if I’m wearing heels.

But I think shorter guys shouldn’t have a problem considering the average female height is 5’4” (even with heels it might go up to about 5’7”). Or just date shorter girls than that.

I dated a smaller man than myself one time and I wouldn’t again. Lying down, ahem, lining up & having to look down felt very wrong. I definitely don’t agree with Prince!

Cleopatra_

During my tinder days I came across profiles where men would mention their height "because it seems to be important around here" and it only occurred to me then that it seems to be a dealbreaker for other women.

I'm 5'6 and I've gone out with guys the same height as me up to about 6'3 I think. If I'm brutally honest it is nice to have a guy a few inches taller than me so I feel small and protected but it's certainly not a dealbreaker.

I never mentioned height on my tinder profile because it didn't matter to me. I'd feel a bit uncomfortable with a guy shorter than me but if I liked someone then I wouldn't let that hold me back.

I have noticed that guys around my height have expressed a preference for shorter women than me and I think that's partially because they want to be the taller protector and partially because they were self-conscious about their height.

Pac1Man

milli milli wrote: »

Lying down, ahem, lining up & having to look down felt very wrong.

Surely whipping out the geometry set to get it right first time would avoid this awkwardness?

worded

Perhaps relative but there is a world wide shortage of dwarfs