Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

LizT · 08-10-2013 02:20PM

Without replying to this message, put a heart on your wall; no comment, just a heart. Next, post a heart on the wall of the person who sent you this message. Then send this message to your women friends, only women. If anyone asks you why you have so many hearts on your wall, don't tell them. This is only for women, because this is breast cancer research week. One small act of solidarity between women. PS to type a heart, first type < then 3 It will turn into a heart as soon as you post it xx

*puke*

Mince Pie · 08-10-2013 03:05PM

I'm so sick of people sharing those bloody pics of unsealed PS4/iPhone/Kindle and thinking they have a hope in hell of winning.
I would have more chance of sticking a feather up me arse and suddenly having the ability to fly than they have or getting one of the items up for grabs.
Do they not notice the page was set up a week ago. Facebook really is a breeding ground for stupidity.
I miss the old days when you actually had to have a conversation with someone to realise they were a moron.

08-10-2013 03:12PM

LizT wrote: »

*puke*

Access · 08-10-2013 05:18PM

A cousin of mine in her twenties...

"Wish sum 1 would give me five grand so i can go to canada to see <ex boyfriends name>"

(her parents are well to do - she posted this five times over two days on her page so her parents could see it as they are friends on fb)

FIve times!

She also bought some sort of pedigree dog that she is constantly posting photos of... It cost her €500... Sorry... I mean it cost her parents €500 and the photos slowly stopped coming over the course of a month and were replaced by updates giving out about the dog pooing and pissing all over the place and about what book or shoe it had eaten! Fat bitch wont look after the dog anymore or even walk it and ispca would be better taking it off her.

Oh! And to top it off, she got an iphone from her parents for christmas and i kid you not... By 5pm on st stephens day she posted that she dropped it on the kitchen tiles and smashed the screen...

Dont anyone worry though... Its okay, her parents bought her a second new one... And pay her bill each month.

FFS!

Wilberto · 08-10-2013 08:07PM

magicmushroom wrote: »

A 25 year old aquaintance of mine:

'Is getting really annoyed with the council house exchange i hav a 3bd and 7kids wanting a 4 or 5 bed no smaller so y people with 2 bedroom flats keep nudging me thick sh!ts'

'People have nothing better to do then talk about me 4 havin 7 kids so what I bring them them all up may have another 4 just to p!ss them off they will have more to talk about then'

'So my 2yr old decided to strol of while i was in the co op only relised wen the shop assistant comes over askin if he belongs to me he waz behind the til filling his pockets with fags nt the best parenting moment!'

'Bull sh!tters wil get there whats coming to them u mark my words!'

Sigh.

I would say "Steralisation" but eh.....

coolhull · 08-10-2013 10:37PM

Access wrote: »

A cousin of mine in her twenties...

"Wish sum 1 would give me five grand so i can go to canada to see <ex boyfriends name>"

(her parents are well to do - she posted this five times over two days on her page so her parents could see it as they are friends on fb)

FIve times!

She also bought some sort of pedigree dog that she is constantly posting photos of... It cost her €500... Sorry... I mean it cost her parents €500 and the photos slowly stopped coming over the course of a month and were replaced by updates giving out about the dog pooing and pissing all over the place and about what book or shoe it had eaten! Fat bitch wont look after the dog anymore or even walk it and ispca would be better taking it off her.

Oh! And to top it off, she got an iphone from her parents for christmas and i kid you not... By 5pm on st stephens day she posted that she dropped it on the kitchen tiles and smashed the screen...

Dont anyone worry though... Its okay, her parents bought her a second new one... And pay her bill each month.

FFS!

Thank God for that. I was afraid for a moment there that she might have to leave Facefcuk, and we'd never know how her life turned out.
That would be a disaster

Tetra · 08-10-2013 11:59PM

"Hello to all of you who are on my list of contacts of Facebook. I haven't wanted to do this, but after finding all of my photos located on another site, I would like to ask a favor of you…. You may not know that Facebook has changed its privacy configuration once again. Thanks to the new “Graphic app”, any person on FB anywhere in the world can see our photos, our “likes” and our “comments”. During the next two weeks, I am going to keep this message posted and I ask you to do the following and comment “DONE”. Those of my friends who do not maintain my information in private will be eliminated from my list of friends, because I want the information I share with you, my friends, to remain among my friends and not be available to the whole world. I want to be able to publish photos of my friends and family without strangers being able to see them, which is what happens now when you choose “like” or “comment”. Unfortunately we cannot change this configuration because FB has made it like this.
1. So, please, place your cursor over my photo that appears in this box (without clicking) and a window will open.
2. Now move the cursor to the word “Friends”, again without clicking and then on “Settings”.
3. Un-check “Life Events” and “Comments and Like”. This way my activity with my family and friends will no longer be made public.
4. Now, copy and paste this text on your own wall (do not “Share” it!). Once I see it published on your page, I will un-check the same.
Thanks!"

This ^^ clogs up my newsfeed every so often - all American friends - I don't know what to say...

shruikan2553 · 09-10-2013 12:12AM

Tetra wrote: »

"Hello to all of you who are on my list of contacts of Facebook. I haven't wanted to do this, but after finding all of my photos located on another site, I would like to ask a favor of you…. You may not know that Facebook has changed its privacy configuration once again. Thanks to the new “Graphic app”, any person on FB anywhere in the world can see our photos, our “likes” and our “comments”. During the next two weeks, I am going to keep this message posted and I ask you to do the following and comment “DONE”. Those of my friends who do not maintain my information in private will be eliminated from my list of friends, because I want the information I share with you, my friends, to remain among my friends and not be available to the whole world. I want to be able to publish photos of my friends and family without strangers being able to see them, which is what happens now when you choose “like” or “comment”. Unfortunately we cannot change this configuration because FB has made it like this.
1. So, please, place your cursor over my photo that appears in this box (without clicking) and a window will open.
2. Now move the cursor to the word “Friends”, again without clicking and then on “Settings”.
3. Un-check “Life Events” and “Comments and Like”. This way my activity with my family and friends will no longer be made public.
4. Now, copy and paste this text on your own wall (do not “Share” it!). Once I see it published on your page, I will un-check the same.
Thanks!"

This ^^ clogs up my newsfeed every so often - all American friends - I don't know what to say...

And yet they never seem to delete their friends.

Sinfonia · 09-10-2013 03:28AM

shruikan2553 wrote: »

And yet they never seem to delete their friends.

Presumably because they'd quickly go from 2,000 strangers to 6 other morons.

Bipolar Joe · 09-10-2013 03:49AM

LizT wrote: »

Without replying to this message, put a heart on your wall; no comment, just a heart. Next, post a heart on the wall of the person who sent you this message. Then send this message to your women friends, only women. If anyone asks you why you have so many hearts on your wall, don't tell them. This is only for women, because this is breast cancer research week. One small act of solidarity between women. PS to type a heart, first type < then 3 It will turn into a heart as soon as you post it xx

*puke*

At least now I know life is a competition about who is the best at not getting a disease.

MurdyWurdy · 09-10-2013 07:51AM

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

At least now I know life is a competition about who is the best at not getting a disease.

Also, what's with the "this is only for women part" - men can get breast cancer too. Ridiculously stupid!

wnolan1992 · 09-10-2013 10:44AM

MurdyWurdy wrote: »

Also, what's with the "this is only for women part" - men can get breast cancer too. Ridiculously stupid!

Because the people behind it are probably so dense they don't realise this. :rolleyes:

"Yeah! Let's show solidarity against breast cancer by excluding half the population from the discussion! Damn men, they don't know our plight and aren't affected by breast cancer at all and so don't care or want raise awareness like us! YOU GO GIRLS!"

rawn · 09-10-2013 05:32PM

They do realise that men also get breast cancer, right?

December2012 · 09-10-2013 05:41PM

rawn wrote: »

They do realise that men also get breast cancer, right?

No, they don't. They are imbeciles who believe that Facebook can cure cancer.

rawn · 09-10-2013 05:42PM

December2012 wrote: »

No, they don't. They are imbeciles who believe that Facebook can cure cancer.

Remember that time when we stopped Kony?

kunst nugget · 09-10-2013 05:44PM

rawn wrote: »

Remember that time when we stopped Kony?

What's Kony cancer?

NegativeCreep · 09-10-2013 05:44PM

rawn wrote: »

Remember that time when we stopped Kony?

Or that time when child abuse was completely eradicated because of those cartoon profile pictures?

kunst nugget · 09-10-2013 05:45PM

NegativeCreep wrote: »

Or that time when child abuse was completely eradicated because of those cartoon profile pictures?

Well I wasn't abused by a child after I put it up so it obviously worked for me…

NegativeCreep · 09-10-2013 05:46PM

kunst nugget wrote: »

Well I wasn't abused by a child after I put it up so it obviously worked for me…

Job done. Another life saved

yerwanthere123 · 09-10-2013 11:58PM

Tetra wrote: »

"Hello to all of you who are on my list of contacts of Facebook. I haven't wanted to do this, but after finding all of my photos located on another site, I would like to ask a favor of you…. You may not know that Facebook has changed its privacy configuration once again. Thanks to the new “Graphic app”, any person on FB anywhere in the world can see our photos, our “likes” and our “comments”. During the next two weeks, I am going to keep this message posted and I ask you to do the following and comment “DONE”. Those of my friends who do not maintain my information in private will be eliminated from my list of friends, because I want the information I share with you, my friends, to remain among my friends and not be available to the whole world. I want to be able to publish photos of my friends and family without strangers being able to see them, which is what happens now when you choose “like” or “comment”. Unfortunately we cannot change this configuration because FB has made it like this.
1. So, please, place your cursor over my photo that appears in this box (without clicking) and a window will open.
2. Now move the cursor to the word “Friends”, again without clicking and then on “Settings”.
3. Un-check “Life Events” and “Comments and Like”. This way my activity with my family and friends will no longer be made public.
4. Now, copy and paste this text on your own wall (do not “Share” it!). Once I see it published on your page, I will un-check the same.
Thanks!"

This ^^ clogs up my newsfeed every so often - all American friends - I don't know what to say...

I like the way they say they'll "eliminate" people, sounds like ethnic cleansing or something.

coolhull · 10-10-2013 12:17AM

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

I like the way they say they'll "eliminate" people, sounds like ethnic cleansing or something.

But it's not personal, just business :rolleyes:

Newaglish · 10-10-2013 10:12AM

Excellent status update:

The awkward moment when you shout "i can hear you im not deaf" in a class that you have a deaf student in

And then another teacher posts this in the comments...

o ya is it fr t yr? dnt start me on d maths. bain of my life

Sweet jesus.

Crooked Jack · 10-10-2013 11:20AM

seosamh1980 wrote: »

I know a very highly educated, very Irish, very white couple in their 30's who call each other boo, I want to punch them or scrape my own brain out every time they say it. "Hey booooo" down the phone, argh.

I used to call my ex Boo, but it wasn't boo as in some sort of R&B "chillin' with ma boo" thing, it was a nickname she got one Hallowe'en. Used to call her either that or Bones. Again, just a nickname, not a pet name.

IvyTheTerrible · 10-10-2013 11:28AM

LizT wrote: »

Without replying to this message, put a heart on your wall; no comment, just a heart. Next, post a heart on the wall of the person who sent you this message. Then send this message to your women friends, only women. If anyone asks you why you have so many hearts on your wall, don't tell them. This is only for women, because this is breast cancer research week. One small act of solidarity between women. PS to type a heart, first type < then 3 It will turn into a heart as soon as you post it xx

*puke*

Ah yes, because not talking about what you are posting about will raise awareness. :rolleyes:

kunst nugget · 10-10-2013 11:43AM

IvyTheTerrible wrote: »

Ah yes, because not talking about what you are posting about will raise awareness. :rolleyes:

To be fair, women always have to fondle their boobs when they type out '<3' (something to do with their strange hormonal imbalances) so I think it's a good way to fool them into examining their own breasts. Bless.

milltown · 10-10-2013 05:04PM

Mince Pie wrote: »

I'm so sick of people sharing those bloody pics of unsealed PS4/iPhone/Kindle and thinking they have a hope in hell of winning.
I would have more chance of sticking a feather up me arse and suddenly having the ability to fly than they have or getting one of the items up for grabs.
Do they not notice the page was set up a week ago. Facebook really is a breeding ground for stupidity.
I miss the old days when you actually had to have a conversation with someone to realise they were a moron.

One of my friends, who I previously thought was smart enough shared one of these for a 50" TV. I asked him if he really thought it likely that Argos would have a space and a full stop in their Facebook profile name?

Then he replied that he was 5 minutes into filling out some survey when he saw my post and figured something might be up.:rolleyes:

Siosleis · 10-10-2013 06:01PM

Newaglish wrote: »

Excellent status update:

And then another teacher posts this in the comments...

Sweet jesus.

It's finally happened! I know the person who posted this status, I saw it last night.

Newaglish · 10-10-2013 07:56PM

Ruh roh...

yerwanthere123 · 10-10-2013 09:07PM

HeyyHeyy My Baby Its Ur Other Half ;)Jus Dropped By 2 Tell u Hw Much I Love U&Miss Yhuu Soo Much My Filmstar

Ur Mail Is Veryy Intresting Ahaha

Told U I'd Gt U Bk Frm Last Nyt Ahaha

PayBack Is A Bitch Ahahaha

AnyWays I'm Loggin Off Nww

Loves U My Babyyy Mwaaaaah

Catch It All Da Way Frm Across Da Ocean Ahhaha

Laters Haters

:*xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

coolhull · 10-10-2013 09:22PM

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

HeyyHeyy My Baby Its Ur Other Half ;)Jus Dropped By 2 Tell u Hw Much I Love U&Miss Yhuu Soo Much My Filmstar Ur Mail Is Veryy Intresting Ahaha Told U I'd Gt U Bk Frm Last Nyt Ahaha PayBack Is A Bitch Ahahaha AnyWays I'm Loggin Off Nww Loves U My Babyyy Mwaaaaah Catch It All Da Way Frm Across Da Ocean Ahhaha Laters Haters :*xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Wow, that post is so profound :rolleyes: