Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

Billy86

Boo isn't bad for a child (still a bit sickly-sweet though), but just PLEASE not for the boyfriend!!. Seosamh, why not kill two birds... no really, kill the two of them and scrape their brans out. That'll learn 'em.

Richard Hillman

"I just watched that video ...... I swear the next asian person i see i dont care hu she or he is im braking there nose in **** !!! Hate gookey lil basterd they wud do and eat atin # feel like crying ;( ;( ;("

Tetra

"Teens can be so ungrateful sometimes. My 16yr old asked me if I could get him an "individual" cheese pizza & deliver it to the high school. He was using the pizza as a mssg...asking a girl to homecoming. So of course, I get there & he's looking at me like I just committed a crime. "This is it?" he asked...hello???? Individual means "ONE", not I'm feeding the whole school!!!!! Uggghhh"

Love2love

Tetra wrote: »

"Teens can be so ungrateful sometimes. My 16yr old asked me if I could get him an "individual" cheese pizza & deliver it to the high school. He was using the pizza as a mssg...asking a girl to homecoming. So of course, I get there & he's looking at me like I just committed a crime. "This is it?" he asked...hello???? Individual means "ONE", not I'm feeding the whole school!!!!! Uggghhh"

Wha??

yerwanthere123

Love2love wrote: »

Wha??

I don't think anyone knows

MonkstownHoop

A few from the same person, all liked by upwards of 40 people strangely!

'Say my neighbours absolutely hate me absolutely blaring the r music , ***** and ***** are running around like crazy kids well don't care anyways you's are all foreign ***** and were moving out tomorrow so astalavista you's weapons yeow'

'Oh my god if anyone could see me jst fall out of the shower bounced me head off the toileh seat sorest but funniest thing ever hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha'

'Someone chat me - Goway you rotball'

'Hadnt got my eye on them for 2 seconds and Just walked into my kitchen and they were sitting in my droor hahaha'

'Booked my theory test today , going to get on the road and rally with the twins in the back and let the stick there heads out ye window when were on the m50 hahahahha'

MonkstownHoop

A few from the same person, all liked by upwards of 40 people strangely!

'Say my neighbours absolutely hate me absolutely blaring the r music , ***** and ***** are running around like crazy kids well don't care anyways you's are all foreign ***** and were moving out tomorrow so astalavista you's weapons yeow'

'Oh my god if anyone could see me jst fall out of the shower bounced me head off the toileh seat sorest but funniest thing ever hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha'

'Someone chat me - Goway you rotball'

'Hadnt got my eye on them for 2 seconds and Just walked into my kitchen and they were sitting in my droor hahaha'

'Booked my theory test today , going to get on the road and rally with the twins in the back and let the stick there heads out ye window when were on the m50 hahahahha'

coolhull

Someone needs to call Social Services.

FreeFallin94

"Fry for brekkie, sun shining, a walk in the park feeding the duckys and spagetti bolognese for dindins, great day "

Why do people bother posting statuses like this?? As if anyone actually cares what you had for 'brekkie' and 'dindins'.

RJunior

RJunior wrote: »

I had a look at this guy's homepage after he posted a missing person's alert for his cousin. By the time people realised it was a bad joke it had already been shared by over a 1,000 people and a lot of people were upset and expressing concern. Anyway he's got some gems on there including:

Gets ****in sunny and im liftin big **** off things over my head if there is a god **** u ya fat ****

20 mins and il be home munching a pizza and having a fat **** then pub yupppppp

Faggits who put up **** sayin ur a scumbag if u wear tracksuits no buddys u wear jeans and tops from penny cause ur 2 greedy to pay 100 euro for a tracksuit with yer tight jeans and knickers faggggggggssssssss

Ja ever get the feeling u just wanna slap the ****in head of some one and just spit in there face cheeky *****sss

He's a young fella from Cork. Profile pic is him in a Celtic jersey holding a knife. Legend.

New profile pic, one hand holding a pint, the other balled into a fist, big sovereign ring, demented facial expression. His last post was directed at all "Braking bad" fans and proceeded to give away in detail the entire ending to the series. Some other recent ones:

I dont think ive ever seen a full gang of girls that are all sexy theres always that one or 2 ugly ones that sre filthy things that gets used as back up the sluts - Drinking cider

Im might not be the best speller and **** but there is some slow c*nt on facebook -who you love ment to be how you love sick world hahaha

No work tonight If u see me 2 night il spit in ur face ya fatcow

Holly from geordie shore reminds me of so many people from round north side falla in love after a bit of dick and is proud ur a slut 10/10 ya fat bitch


Think its time to stay away from town do the same **** everyweek go ****y catwalk and stand by abra like a mouldy bum eatin taco fries ahha. - Playing with muself

Imagine been amish hah id die after a week no ps3 or facebook hahah

To all u mother****aaassss drink and enjoying yer cans or pints I hope ye get the first of the keg so ye can **** all over yer gafs rats haha

im praying to god im not workin friday night I need a nice pint or 10

Come on united batter um this time

Who wants to go bushin did go gatin round the gaf in ages

Wilberto

RJunior wrote: »

New profile pic, one hand holding a pint, the other balled into a fist, big sovereign ring, demented facial expression. His last post was directed at all "Braking bad" fans and proceeded to give away in detail the entire ending to the series. Some other recent ones:

I dont think ive ever seen a full gang of girls that are all sexy theres always that one or 2 ugly ones that sre filthy things that gets used as back up the sluts - Drinking cider

Im might not be the best speller and **** but there is some slow c*nt on facebook -who you love ment to be how you love sick world hahaha

No work tonight If u see me 2 night il spit in ur face ya fatcow

Holly from geordie shore reminds me of so many people from round north side falla in love after a bit of dick and is proud ur a slut 10/10 ya fat bitch


Think its time to stay away from town do the same **** everyweek go ****y catwalk and stand by abra like a mouldy bum eatin taco fries ahha. - Playing with muself

Imagine been amish hah id die after a week no ps3 or facebook hahah

To all u mother****aaassss drink and enjoying yer cans or pints I hope ye get the first of the keg so ye can **** all over yer gafs rats haha

im praying to god im not workin friday night I need a nice pint or 10

Come on united batter um this time

Who wants to go bushin did go gatin round the gaf in ages

What language is that?

BNMC

I find it worrying that person has a job.

coolhull

BNMC wrote: »

I find it worrying that person has a job.

He's a Professor of Modern English at Harvard :rolleyes:

Paddy Cow

FreeFallin94 wrote: »

"Fry for brekkie, sun shining, a walk in the park feeding the duckys and spagetti bolognese for dindins, great day "

Why do people bother posting statuses like this?? As if anyone actually cares what you had for 'brekkie' and 'dindins'.

Please tell me that was written by some besotted parent on behalf of their small child.

newmug

Obviously he's not the full schilling.

FreeFallin94

Paddy Cow wrote: »

Please tell me that was written by some besotted parent on behalf of their small child.

Unfortunately not. It is the status of an 18 year old girl. She actually tagged her boyfriend at the end of it.

FreeFallin94

"@ joe whelan Xfactor is a ****in set up it shud b shutddown they sent da winner home tampin fumin ragin love u joe so much u r my world can't stop d tears rollin down my face sharon u deaf mute i'd throw **** at ur face disgrace old hagged cow !"

Charming!

Billy86

FreeFallin94 wrote: »

"@ joe whelan Xfactor is a ****in set up it shud b shutddown they sent da winner home tampin fumin ragin love u joe so much u r my world can't stop d tears rollin down my face sharon u deaf mute i'd throw **** at ur face disgrace old hagged cow !"

Charming!

The word 'unhinged' come to mind. I'd imagine this poor Joe Whelan guy's scared for his lift right about now. :pac: :pac: :pac:

saltyjack silverblade

"Here's a tip- you do not know me, you only know girls, some of us are women, some of us are fully capable of doing whatever the freakin' hell we want- and you, Mr. Man, do not get to judge me, nor tell me something must be wrong with me if I do not want to date you-- my future is more important than your ignorant ass, maybe you should really join the army and leave me be!"

Voodoomelon

FreeFallin94 wrote: »

"Fry for brekkie, sun shining, a walk in the park feeding the duckys and spagetti bolognese for dindins, great day "

What happened next ffs, don't leave us hanging. :mad:

TheChevron

"the dole crowd robbing ****s taking me to the cleaners , id nearly call the guards on them , report a robbery."

magicmushroom

A 25 year old aquaintance of mine:

'Is getting really annoyed with the council house exchange i hav a 3bd and 7kids wanting a 4 or 5 bed no smaller so y people with 2 bedroom flats keep nudging me thick sh!ts'

'People have nothing better to do then talk about me 4 havin 7 kids so what I bring them them all up may have another 4 just to p!ss them off they will have more to talk about then'

'So my 2yr old decided to strol of while i was in the co op only relised wen the shop assistant comes over askin if he belongs to me he waz behind the til filling his pockets with fags nt the best parenting moment!'

'Bull sh!tters wil get there whats coming to them u mark my words!'

Sigh.

LizT

Without replying to this message, put a heart on your wall; no comment, just a heart. Next, post a heart on the wall of the person who sent you this message. Then send this message to your women friends, only women. If anyone asks you why you have so many hearts on your wall, don't tell them. This is only for women, because this is breast cancer research week. One small act of solidarity between women. PS to type a heart, first type < then 3 It will turn into a heart as soon as you post it xx

*puke*

Mince Pie

I'm so sick of people sharing those bloody pics of unsealed PS4/iPhone/Kindle and thinking they have a hope in hell of winning.
I would have more chance of sticking a feather up me arse and suddenly having the ability to fly than they have or getting one of the items up for grabs.
Do they not notice the page was set up a week ago. Facebook really is a breeding ground for stupidity.
I miss the old days when you actually had to have a conversation with someone to realise they were a moron.

LizT

LizT wrote: »

*puke*

Access

A cousin of mine in her twenties...

"Wish sum 1 would give me five grand so i can go to canada to see <ex boyfriends name>"

(her parents are well to do - she posted this five times over two days on her page so her parents could see it as they are friends on fb)

FIve times!

She also bought some sort of pedigree dog that she is constantly posting photos of... It cost her €500... Sorry... I mean it cost her parents €500 and the photos slowly stopped coming over the course of a month and were replaced by updates giving out about the dog pooing and pissing all over the place and about what book or shoe it had eaten! Fat bitch wont look after the dog anymore or even walk it and ispca would be better taking it off her.

Oh! And to top it off, she got an iphone from her parents for christmas and i kid you not... By 5pm on st stephens day she posted that she dropped it on the kitchen tiles and smashed the screen...

Dont anyone worry though... Its okay, her parents bought her a second new one... And pay her bill each month.

FFS!

Wilberto

magicmushroom wrote: »

A 25 year old aquaintance of mine:

'Is getting really annoyed with the council house exchange i hav a 3bd and 7kids wanting a 4 or 5 bed no smaller so y people with 2 bedroom flats keep nudging me thick sh!ts'

'People have nothing better to do then talk about me 4 havin 7 kids so what I bring them them all up may have another 4 just to p!ss them off they will have more to talk about then'

'So my 2yr old decided to strol of while i was in the co op only relised wen the shop assistant comes over askin if he belongs to me he waz behind the til filling his pockets with fags nt the best parenting moment!'

'Bull sh!tters wil get there whats coming to them u mark my words!'

Sigh.

I would say "Steralisation" but eh.....

coolhull

Access wrote: »

A cousin of mine in her twenties...

"Wish sum 1 would give me five grand so i can go to canada to see <ex boyfriends name>"

(her parents are well to do - she posted this five times over two days on her page so her parents could see it as they are friends on fb)

FIve times!

She also bought some sort of pedigree dog that she is constantly posting photos of... It cost her €500... Sorry... I mean it cost her parents €500 and the photos slowly stopped coming over the course of a month and were replaced by updates giving out about the dog pooing and pissing all over the place and about what book or shoe it had eaten! Fat bitch wont look after the dog anymore or even walk it and ispca would be better taking it off her.

Oh! And to top it off, she got an iphone from her parents for christmas and i kid you not... By 5pm on st stephens day she posted that she dropped it on the kitchen tiles and smashed the screen...

Dont anyone worry though... Its okay, her parents bought her a second new one... And pay her bill each month.

FFS!

Thank God for that. I was afraid for a moment there that she might have to leave Facefcuk, and we'd never know how her life turned out.
That would be a disaster

Tetra

"Hello to all of you who are on my list of contacts of Facebook. I haven't wanted to do this, but after finding all of my photos located on another site, I would like to ask a favor of you…. You may not know that Facebook has changed its privacy configuration once again. Thanks to the new “Graphic app”, any person on FB anywhere in the world can see our photos, our “likes” and our “comments”. During the next two weeks, I am going to keep this message posted and I ask you to do the following and comment “DONE”. Those of my friends who do not maintain my information in private will be eliminated from my list of friends, because I want the information I share with you, my friends, to remain among my friends and not be available to the whole world. I want to be able to publish photos of my friends and family without strangers being able to see them, which is what happens now when you choose “like” or “comment”. Unfortunately we cannot change this configuration because FB has made it like this.
1. So, please, place your cursor over my photo that appears in this box (without clicking) and a window will open.
2. Now move the cursor to the word “Friends”, again without clicking and then on “Settings”.
3. Un-check “Life Events” and “Comments and Like”. This way my activity with my family and friends will no longer be made public.
4. Now, copy and paste this text on your own wall (do not “Share” it!). Once I see it published on your page, I will un-check the same.
Thanks!"

This ^^ clogs up my newsfeed every so often - all American friends - I don't know what to say...

shruikan2553

Tetra wrote: »

"Hello to all of you who are on my list of contacts of Facebook. I haven't wanted to do this, but after finding all of my photos located on another site, I would like to ask a favor of you…. You may not know that Facebook has changed its privacy configuration once again. Thanks to the new “Graphic app”, any person on FB anywhere in the world can see our photos, our “likes” and our “comments”. During the next two weeks, I am going to keep this message posted and I ask you to do the following and comment “DONE”. Those of my friends who do not maintain my information in private will be eliminated from my list of friends, because I want the information I share with you, my friends, to remain among my friends and not be available to the whole world. I want to be able to publish photos of my friends and family without strangers being able to see them, which is what happens now when you choose “like” or “comment”. Unfortunately we cannot change this configuration because FB has made it like this.
1. So, please, place your cursor over my photo that appears in this box (without clicking) and a window will open.
2. Now move the cursor to the word “Friends”, again without clicking and then on “Settings”.
3. Un-check “Life Events” and “Comments and Like”. This way my activity with my family and friends will no longer be made public.
4. Now, copy and paste this text on your own wall (do not “Share” it!). Once I see it published on your page, I will un-check the same.
Thanks!"

This ^^ clogs up my newsfeed every so often - all American friends - I don't know what to say...

And yet they never seem to delete their friends.