The try harder if ye want a second joke thread thread.

What do you call an elephant wearing glass Slippers ?




Cinderelephant.

Uncomfortable Plot Summaries

300: Gays kill blacks.

ALIEN: Ship fails to deliver cargo, crew don’t get bonus.
ALIENS: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON: Tourist causes riot.

BATMAN: Wealthy man assaults the mentally ill.
BEAUTY AND THE BEAST: Peasant girl develops Stockholm Syndrome.
BENJI: Family abandons beloved pet, forcing it to engage in a dangerous cross-country journey.
BEOWULF: Colonists hire assassin to drive natives from land.
BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA: Redneck trucker kills Chinese immigrants.

BILLY ELLIOT: Union worker turns back on strikers for personal gain.
BLADE: Obsessed loner stalks minority group.
BLADE RUNNER: Man with no apparent skill stumbles into escaped robots, fails to kill most, f*cks one.
BLAKE’S 7: Terrorists fight government, die.
BOOGIE NIGHTS: Deformed boy goaded into life of crime.

BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY’S: Pretty redneck girl fools socialites, flirts with gay gigolo.
BREWSTER’S MILLIONS: Black man abuses line of credit.
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER: Teenage serial killer destroys town in fit of semi-religious fervor.

CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY: Deranged pedophile big-business industrialist tortures and mutilates young children.
CHEERS: Alcoholic cuts lime in bar as penance for his womanizing ways.
CHINATOWN: Father desires closer relationship with his children.
CONAN THE BARBARIAN: Petty thief murders religious leader.
CRANK: Drug addict spends last day in orgy of rape and violence.
CUJO: Family neglects to give family pet rabies shots, pays price.

DAREDEVIL: Blind man pisses off crime boss, gets all his girl-friends killed.
DARK KNIGHT RETURNS: Aging sadist corrupts, endangers minor, facilitates murder, destroys superhero comic books for 30 years.
DEBBIE DOES DALLAS: Cheerleaders develop valuable entrepreneurial skills.
DEEP THROAT: Medical anomaly earns woman new friends.
DELIVERANCE: Tourists experience local hospitality.

DEMOLITION MAN: In a future where crime is completely eradicated, a black man steals and murders.
DIE HARD: Dysfunctional cop saves marriage by murdering foreign national.
DIRTY HARRY: Police incompetence allows murderer to go free.
DOCTOR WHO: Elderly man serially abducts young women.
DRACULA: Immigrant clashes with locals.

E.T.: Out-of-control pet causes mayhem, sadness.
EVERY WHICH WAY BUT LOOSE: Part-time mechanic involves girlfriend in illegal fight club, risks life of best friend and endangered primate.
FALLING DOWN: Life is difficult for white men.
FANTASTIC FOUR: Scientist exposes friends, family to dangerous radiation to assuage ego, becomes embroiled in rivalry with former room-mate.
FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF: Amoral narcissist makes world dance for his amusement.

FIELD OF DREAMS: Schizophrenic builds ball park, almost kills girl.
FIGHT CLUB: Deranged sociopath guides yuppies to their deaths.
FIREFLY: In an analogue of the post-Civil War west, a white man on the losing side bosses around a black woman.
FRANKENSTEIN: Scientific advancement proves unpopular with general public.

FREAKS: Acrobat learns value of community.
SERENITY: Men fight for possession of scantily clad mentally ill teenage girl.

GHOSTBUSTERS: Unemployed college professors destroy hotel with nuclear weapons.
GLADIATOR: Convict murders head of state.
GLENGARRY, GLENN ROSS: Sales job proves difficult for some.
GONE WITH THE WIND: Rich, white slave owner enjoys getting raped, miscarries.
GOOD WILL HUNTING: Underemployed genius squanders prestigious job opportunity to chase trim.
GREMLINS: Distant father ruins son’s life, puts entire town at risk.
GROUNDHOG DAY: Misanthropic creep exploits space/time anomaly to stalk coworker.

HACKERS: Cybercriminals on revenge kick destroy innumerable jobs.
HAIR: Hippie dodges draft, dies ironically.
HALLOWEEN: Babysitter’s relationship with murderer places children in danger.
HARRY POTTER: Celebrity Jock thinks rules don’t apply to him, is right.
HIGHLANDER: Elderly immigrant destroys property.

IRON MAN: Alcoholic rich white man with technology fetish goes vigilante.
WAR MACHINE: Alcoholic rich white man gives weapons to black man.
JUDGE DREDD: Fascist thug in bleak dystopia is cheered.
JURASSIC PARK: Theme park’s grand opening pushed back.

KARATE KID: Boy gains acceptance through violence.
KILL BILL: Irresponsible mother wants custody of her child.
KINDERGARTEN COP: Incompetent left in charge of children, who are eventually fired at by convicted felon.
KING KONG: Endangered animal stolen, shot.

LA CONFIDENTIAL: Rapist joins thug in foiling police corruption scheme.
LABYRINTH: Girl is negligent baby-sitter.
LASSIE COME HOME: Family abandons beloved pet, forcing it to engage in a dangerous cross-country journey.
LONE WOLF MCQUADE: Alcoholic assaults local businessman, ruins marriage.

LORD OF THE RINGS: Midget destroys stolen property.
LOVE ACTUALLY: Prime Minister risks war with United States over a sexy secretary.

MARLEY AND ME: Out-of-control pet causes mayhem, sadness.
METROPOLIS: Efficient society undone by unions.
MICHAEL CLAYTON: Attorney works against client’s interests.
MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL: British comedy troupe inadvertently creates language lab for nerds.
MULHOLLAND DRIVE: Lesbian relationship is harmful.

NEVERWHERE: Misfit discovers he is special person in secret world just beside our own.
O BROTHER WHERE ART THOU: Southern musicians encounter massive flooding and government incompetence.
OCEAN’S ELEVEN: Gang of career criminals commit act of terror to facilitate robbery and romance.
OF MICE AND MEN: Migrant farmer murders mentally handicapped friend.
ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST: Disruptive mental patients treated.

POLTERGEIST: Pot-head parents lose child, ruin property values.
PREDATOR: American military-industrial complex ruins first contact with alien life.
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE: Woman with gold-digging mother nags wealthy man into marriage.
PYGMALION: Urchin cured by social betters.

RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK: American yahoo murders soldiers and desecrates religious artifacts for money.
RAISING ARIZONA: Convicted felon seduces police officer in kidnapping plot.
RAMBO III: The United States provides arms, equipment and training to the terrorists behind 9/11.
RATATOUILLE: Vermin infest restaurant until it is forced to close doors.
RED DAWN: Despite shock-and-awe tactics, a superior occupying force is no match for a tenacious sect of terrorist insurgents.
RISKY BUSINESS: Privileged rich kid gets everything he wants with no consequences.

ROAD HOUSE: Bouncer becomes vigilante, murders local businessman with karate.
ROBIN HOOD: Disgruntled veteran protests taxes.
ROBOCOP: Female officer’s incompetence leads partner to be murdered and enslaved by corporation.
ROCKY: White man beats black man.
ROSEMARY’S BABY: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.

SCARFACE: Immigrant finds running his own business stressful, dangerous.
SCHINDLER’S LIST: Wealthy industrialist expands not-for-profit ventures.
SE7EN: Homicide detectives unable to prevent even a single murder by admitted serial killer, killer gives cop head.
SHORT CIRCUIT: Rogue scientist steals top-secret government weapon.

SIGNS: Jesus trumps science.
SILENCE OF THE LAMBS: Incompetent manipulated by several murderers, stumbles upon suspect completely by accident. Creates situation that allows serial killer to escape.
SLEEPY HOLLOW: Veteran harassed.
SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT: Redneck bootlegger makes mockery of law, sanctity of marriage.
SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS: Layabout stepdaughter shacks up with seven miners.

SOPHIE’S CHOICE: Mom loves one of her kids way more than the other one.
SPIDER-MAN: Nerd gets bitten by spider, complains about how this ruins his life for years to come.
STARDUST: Misfit discovers he is special person in secret world just beside our own.

STAR TREK: Over-sexed officer routinely places crew in danger.
STAR TREK THE MOTION PICTURE: Meglomaniac can’t let go of past glory, drives successor to suicide.
STAR TREK III: Military officers steal vessel and destroy it to eliminate a handful of enemies while engaged on an extremely vague rescue mission.
STAR TREK IV: Interplanetary fugitives poach wildlife from a past age to cover up an act of genocide.
STAR TREK VI: Racist military commander past his prime nearly ruins galactic peace.

STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE: Religious extremist terrorists destroy government installation, killing thousands.
STAR WARS: EMPIRE STRIKES BACK: Boy is abused by midget, kisses sister, attempts patricide.
STAR WARS: RETURN OF THE JEDI: Handicapped mass murderer kills septugenarian, is lauded.

STRAW DOGS: Immigrant clashes with locals.
SUPERMAN RETURNS: Illegal immigrant is deadbeat dad.
SWEENEY TODD: Businesses flourish when freed from stringent regulation.

TAXI DRIVER: Modern dating proves challenging for working class man.
TERMINATOR: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: Tourists have difficulty with regional cuisine.

THE CAT FROM OUTER SPACE: College professors help illegal alien evade authorities.
THE CONVERSATION: Paranoid schizophrenic follows worst possible career path.
THE CRYING GAME: Hairdresser bonds with client.
THE EXORCIST: Jesus trumps science.
THE FIRM: White lawyer learns hard work is irrelevant.

THE GOLDEN COMPASS: Critique of Catholicism upstaged by polar bear fight.
THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY: Nameless drifter kills American soldier over stolen money, hangs friend.
THE GOONIES: Physically abused, retarded man finds love with overweight preteen.
THE INCREDIBLE JOURNEY: Family abandons beloved pets, forcing them to engage in a dangerous cross-country journey.
THE MATRIX: Hacker is given perfect justification for mass slaughter.

THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS: Dangerous insurgent invades neighboring country.
THE OFFICE: Incompetent boss routinely endangers employees, passes fire-worthy blame, sexually harasses subordinates; is seen as “hero” compared to people who just actually work.

THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST: Mel Gibson fulfills fantasy of showing a Jew beaten to a bloody pulp and killed on-screen.
THE STEPFORD WIVES: Woman has difficulty adjusting to suburban life.
THE TAKING OF PELHAM 1 2 3: Civil servant insults and shoots foreigners.
THE THING: Unexpected visitor imposes on workers, their dogs.

THE UNTOUCHABLES: Murderer indicted on technicality.
THE WICKER MAN: Isolated religious community revitalized by newcomer.
THE X-MEN: Minority group seeks overthrow of social order.
THERE WILL BE BLOOD: Kidnapper commits murder several times.

TITANIC: Crazy old widow disregards lifelong memories of husband, children, and grandchildren in favor of that one time she ****ed a bum.
TOP GUN: Pilot routinely endangers Air Traffic Controllers.
TORCHWOOD: Bisexual is inefficient manager.

TRAINSPOTTING: Statutory rapist and junkie sifts through human waste, gets enormous sum of money.
TRANSPORTER: Repressed homosexual kills employers.
TWILIGHT: Girl gives up college for stalker.
TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME: Father becomes more involved in teenage daughter’s life.

V FOR VENDETTA: Dystopian government overthrown by faceless conformity.
VERTIGO: Stalker drives woman to suicide.
WALL-E: Obsolete robot disrupts big business, disrupts lives of millions of innocent civilians.
WAR OF THE WORLDS: Immigrants face difficulty acclimating.

WATCHMEN: Homosexual destroys New York, blames God.
WEEKEND AT BERNIES: Two employees take advantage of their boss’ hospitality.
WONDER WOMAN: Princess from isolationist culture lectures Americans on equality.
WORLD TRADE CENTER: Rag-tag group of underdogs succeed at a massive undertaking despite overwhelming odds, credit success with faith in God.