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Smacking yes or no

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Comments

  • #242
    suicide_circus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,802 ✭✭✭✭suicide_circus


    Spare the rod, spoil the child.


  • #243
    BerryBlue
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 47 ✭BerryBlue


    I think each to their own - I don't think I agree with physical punishment whatsoever - but then again, I don't have kids so its hard to say until I do - I like to think when I have kids I'll somehow outwit them to behave - but who knows?? My friend 'spanks' her kids - I don't agree at all, but how can I judge it either when she has chosen that style of parenting??


  • #244
    Shenshen
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,453 ✭✭✭Shenshen


    Pumpkinseeds wrote: »
    I don't have kids but if I did the occassional spanking wouldn't be out of the question, if they were very out of order. As other posters have said there is a massive difference between a slap and a beating. I think all this progressive and chummy parenting and 'time outs' is an utter crock of sh*t tbh. There's a generation of kids/teens out there who are obnoxious brats as a result of progressive parenting.

    I passed some teens today as I was on my way into the local shopping centre. Lunchtime on a Wednesday and they were openly smoking dope outside a chip shop. Well done to whoever parented those idiots, what a wonderful contribution they are to society. I'd guess those same parents would say they have a great relationship with their kids and their kids are more like friends:rolleyes:

    I'm curious, how do you know these kids weren't beaten at home?


  • #245
    sunflower27
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,822 ✭✭✭sunflower27


    Micky Dolenz wrote: »
    But why use it as a form of punishment at all?


    How can you say it isn't harmful to a child? We have already had a few posters who said they were smacked irregularly by their parent in an otherwise loving environment but they still felt degraded and still carry if with them.

    What would you say to them?

    It certainly wasn't harmful to me. A smack for being naughty is not anything I ever think about. A few people say they felt degraded, what about the kid who is punished by not being allowed to go to the school camp/school outing/be in the school play or whatever, am sure we could find a few of them who felt degraded.

    It is not against the law and is up to the individual parent. I do not see the harm in smacking a child that has been pre-warned if he carries on like a brat that a smack will be forthcoming.


  • #246
    Shenshen
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,453 ✭✭✭Shenshen


    sunflower27 wrote: »
    It certainly wasn't harmful to me. A smack for being naughty is not anything I ever think about. A few people say they felt degraded, what about the kid who is punished by not being allowed to go to the school camp/school outing/be in the school play or whatever, am sure we could find a few of them who felt degraded.

    It is not against the law and is up to the individual parent. I do not see the harm in smacking a child that has been pre-warned if he carries on like a brat that a smack will be forthcoming.

    I'm from a country where it now actually is against the law.
    And I have to say I'm finding some of the attitude displayed here rather disturbing to say the least.

    On the other hand, reading this does explain a lot about some aspects of general Irish behaviour that I have found puzzling since I arrived.


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  • #247
    Frank Black
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,296 ✭✭✭Frank Black


    Parents who hit their children are **** parents who probably should have never had kids in the first place.
    Parents who don't set appropriate behavioural boundaries for their children are **** parents too.


  • #248
    gobnaitolunacy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,073 ✭✭✭gobnaitolunacy


    If people have to get training to drive a car, then they should get some sort of training for minding their own anklebiters.


  • #249
    Sir Humphrey Appleby
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,465 ✭✭✭Sir Humphrey Appleby


    suicide_circus wrote: »
    Spare the rod, spoil the child.

    I totally agree.


  • #250
    Cork24
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,663 ✭✭✭Cork24


    I say Sent the little ****s to Siberia for a Hard Labor for the Winter.


  • #251
    Cork24
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,663 ✭✭✭Cork24


    Frank Black wrote: »
    Parents who hit their children are **** parents who probably should have never had kids in the first place.


    So My Parents should have never had 5 kids ? that's what your telling me.

    we all got a slap for being bold, didn't do any harm. in fact never did i get into trouble with the law or any one for that matter cos i knew better. Studied just like the rest of my brothers before me and went to college like the rest of them.

    SO all in all your talking out your ass


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  • #252
    Frank Black
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,296 ✭✭✭Frank Black


    Cork24 wrote: »
    So My Parents should have never had 5 kids ? that's what your telling me.

    we all got a slap for being bold, didn't do any harm. in fact never did i get into trouble with the law or any one for that matter cos i knew better. Studied just like the rest of my brothers before me and went to college like the rest of them.

    SO all in all your talking out your ass

    Such anger.
    Probably as a consequence of your violent upbringing.


  • #253
    kunst nugget
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,375 ✭✭✭✭kunst nugget


    suicide_circus wrote: »
    Spare the rod, spoil the child.

    That cliche is the biggest load of bullsh¡t ever. You don't have to smack or beat your kids to make them behave themselves and in this day and age with all the resources we have at our disposal to educate ourselves in other non-violent methods to discipline our kids it's willfully lazy to resort to smacking.


  • #254
    Leftist
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,230 ✭✭✭Leftist


    Pumpkinseeds wrote: »
    I don't have kids but if I did the occassional spanking wouldn't be out of the question, if they were very out of order. As other posters have said there is a massive difference between a slap and a beating. I think all this progressive and chummy parenting and 'time outs' is an utter crock of sh*t tbh. There's a generation of kids/teens out there who are obnoxious brats as a result of progressive parenting.

    I passed some teens today as I was on my way into the local shopping centre. Lunchtime on a Wednesday and they were openly smoking dope outside a chip shop. Well done to whoever parented those idiots, what a wonderful contribution they are to society. I'd guess those same parents would say they have a great relationship with their kids and their kids are more like friends:rolleyes:

    Had to take a moment to restrain the insults before I reply to this.

    Everyone's entitled to their opinion but sometimes you come across one that just deserves to be smashed into the ground.

    This is one of them.

    1. There's a generation of kids/teens out there who are obnoxious brats as a result of progressive parenting.

    Embarrassing. The generation of parenting in the 80s/90s wasn't progressive. It was a cultural revolution in parenting that began in the US 20 years before. It was putting your child ahead of everyone else and allowing them to do as they please while backing it, e.g to teachers/neighbours. That is not progressive, that is defensive and lazy parenting.

    2. Lunchtime on a Wednesday and they were openly smoking dope outside a chip shop

    A) Do you know these children?
    B) Do you know how they were raised?

    I assume the answer to B is a categorical No. To the point where you should start to feel stupid reading this.

    Every 'bad egg' I knew growing up, every kid who caused trouble, to dropping out of school early to ending up in prison had an overbearing father. I can name a dozen lads who were the rotten apple of the group and every, single, one whose father I knew, was strict to the point of threatening them in public, over punishing them or hitting them.

    You have zero idea what you're on about. It's incredible how a person can form such a strong opinion when they have absolutely no clue whatsoever.


  • #255
    annettea
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 299 ✭✭annettea


    People are saying look at the children nowadays, you don't know if they're getting smacked or not but children nowadays are spoilt not saying all of them are. Id say its because the parents grew up with nothing and wanted to give everything to there children.
    Most children by the time there 11/12 have a mobile,laptop some type of gamestation maybe more than 1. Parents only cook what the kids want and if they don't eat it they'll cook a different dinner. At the end if the day smacking a 2 or 3 year old is wrong(my opinion) their only 2 or 3 years in this world are they supposed to know how the world works. Children learn from what's around them if a child swears you need to look at your homelife cos they don't learn it from thin air. Children are not small adults.
    Everyone is entitled to their opinion if u want to smack your child y go ahead and do it I just hope they won't backlash at you. Children are born without fear its up to u as parents not to give it to them.


  • #256
    wolfpawnat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,124 ✭✭✭wolfpawnat


    The vast majority of us on here were smacked as kids. Not belted around the four walls but smacked, did it do us any harm, no. As for the children who were completely beaten to a pulp, I would imagine it did them more harm.

    That said, these days there are too many unruly brats around, sure there have always been some, but I am shocked at the sheer number of them these days. And the parents put them down as "lively" or "spirited" I accidentally spat out a drink when one mother said it at a party recently when her demon of a child she will not correct in any manner, beat another child for going on the bouncy castle at the same time as him. More children were outside my apartment the other day and were aiming a football to throw at my cat as he lay on my wall. I went and told them off..... their mother (not a resident here I may add) was standing about 20 feet away! What sort of sociopaths are people rearing. I rarely smack my son (twice, once for nearly running out in front of a car, and once for trying to stick his hand in a hot oven)


  • #257
    Leftist
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,230 ✭✭✭Leftist


    wolfpawnat wrote: »
    More children were outside my apartment the other day and were aiming a football to throw at my cat as he lay on my wall.

    Oh dear jesus. that would never have happened 30 years ago.


  • #258
    Shenshen
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,453 ✭✭✭Shenshen


    The recurring phrase in this thread seems to be "it did me no harm"....

    Is that the best that can be said for physically interacting with a child in a violent manner, "it does no harm"?

    Surely an effective means of parenting should actually do some good rather than settle for not doing harm?


  • #259
    Shenshen
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,453 ✭✭✭Shenshen


    Leftist wrote: »
    Oh dear jesus. that would never have happened 30 years ago.

    Nope, back then they didn't have footballs. They would have used a handy brick or something.


  • #260
    Ush1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,491 ✭✭✭✭Ush1


    Shenshen wrote: »
    The recurring phrase in this thread seems to be "it did me no harm"....

    Is that the best that can be said for physically interacting with a child in a violent manner, "it does no harm"?

    Surely an effective means of parenting should actually do some good rather than settle for not doing harm?

    It's the worst justification you'll hear.

    I was hit by my parents, I was actually also hit by my grandmother and I can say it didn't do me any good. I just always saw a bit of a violent streak in my mother and grandmother. The actual being hit didn't discourage me or teach me anything though.


  • #261
    kunst nugget
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,375 ✭✭✭✭kunst nugget


    wolfpawnat wrote: »
    The vast majority of us on here were smacked as kids. Not belted around the four walls but smacked, did it do us any harm, no. As for the children who were completely beaten to a pulp, I would imagine it did them more harm.

    That said, these days there are too many unruly brats around, sure there have always been some, but I am shocked at the sheer number of them these days. And the parents put them down as "lively" or "spirited" I accidentally spat out a drink when one mother said it at a party recently when her demon of a child she will not correct in any manner, beat another child for going on the bouncy castle at the same time as him. More children were outside my apartment the other day and were aiming a football to throw at my cat as he lay on my wall. I went and told them off..... their mother (not a resident here I may add) was standing about 20 feet away! What sort of sociopaths are people rearing. I rarely smack my son (twice, once for nearly running out in front of a car, and once for trying to stick his hand in a hot oven)

    The line of argument that 'I've seen badly behaved kids who obviously act that way because they are not smacked' is a nonsense. If you choose to not smack your child, that doesn't you abdicate all responsibility for your child's behaviour. If a parent does that, they are not being a parent, they are being an asshole. It is still your responsibility to raise, nurture and discipline your child.


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  • #262
    Leftist
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,230 ✭✭✭Leftist


    Shenshen wrote: »
    The recurring phrase in this thread seems to be "it did me no harm"....

    Is that the best that can be said for physically interacting with a child in a violent manner, "it does no harm"?

    Surely an effective means of parenting should actually do some good rather than settle for not doing harm?

    exactly. Also loads of people banging on about how they were slapped or hit when they misbehaved but later in life they appreciated it.

    Right. So when you were an adult you stopped behaving like a child and the hitting is what helped you here? not the development and maturing of your brain.

    It's like a trained dog. I'm glad I was punished for not behaving right. My master knows best.


  • #263
    imtdub
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 249 ✭✭imtdub


    I had enuff of this pu**ies who tell us smacking is wrong, my parents raised 8 kids and we were all smacked when we're naughty/bold/crossed the line, and today we're all doing great. So I think I know who I have to follow, don't give me the bs of this "day and age", Also If somebody tells me a smack from your parent is degrading they need counselling. The govt's who make smacking illegal they're pants, what next you can't even give out to your own kind for throwing a tantrum :rolleyes:


  • #264
    sunflower27
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,822 ✭✭✭sunflower27


    Frank Black wrote: »
    Parents who hit their children are **** parents who probably should have never had kids in the first place.
    Parents who don't set appropriate behavioural boundaries for their children are **** parents too.

    Yeah, but no, but yeah but no but.... look at your own anger and use of obscenities to get your point across.

    :D

    That just had to be pointed out :D:D


  • #265
    Ush1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,491 ✭✭✭✭Ush1


    imtdub wrote: »
    I had enuff of this pu**ies who tell us smacking is wrong, my parents raised 8 kids and we were all smacked when we're naughty/bold/crossed the line, and today we're all doing great. So I think I know who I have to follow, don't give me the bs of this "day and age", Also If somebody tells me a smack from your parent is degrading they need counselling. The govt's who make smacking illegal they're pants, what next you can't even give out to your own kind for throwing a tantrum :rolleyes:

    You do sound charming in fairness.:)


  • #266
    sunflower27
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,822 ✭✭✭sunflower27


    Ush1 wrote: »
    You do sound charming in fairness.:)

    Personally, I admire the direct approach. :D


  • #267
    OldNotWIse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,468 ✭✭✭✭OldNotWIse


    I dont really care what way parents discipline their own children, but ffs can you do somethign to stop them driving other people mad?

    I hate saying anything that begins with "children these days" but seriously. A lot of children you come across these days are absolute frights. In some places, you'd be afraid to walk past a group of 10 year olds.


  • #268
    Ush1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,491 ✭✭✭✭Ush1


    sunflower27 wrote: »
    Personally, I admire the direct approach. :D

    Well "direct" is one way to describe it.


  • #269
    hoodwinked
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,175 ✭✭✭hoodwinked


    wolfpawnat wrote: »
    The vast majority of us on here were smacked as kids. Not belted around the four walls but smacked, did it do us any harm, no. As for the children who were completely beaten to a pulp, I would imagine it did them more harm.

    That said, these days there are too many unruly brats around, sure there have always been some, but I am shocked at the sheer number of them these days. And the parents put them down as "lively" or "spirited" I accidentally spat out a drink when one mother said it at a party recently when her demon of a child she will not correct in any manner, beat another child for going on the bouncy castle at the same time as him. More children were outside my apartment the other day and were aiming a football to throw at my cat as he lay on my wall. I went and told them off..... their mother (not a resident here I may add) was standing about 20 feet away! What sort of sociopaths are people rearing. I rarely smack my son (twice, once for nearly running out in front of a car, and once for trying to stick his hand in a hot oven)

    the bolded part is it in a nutshell, other mothers around here are the exact same, and they are definitely raising sociopaths of the future,

    i hate saying anything about a child but one of them in the time i've been living here has yet to say/do something that is not evil or designed to hurt others. at 7 years of age he's been known to tell children of single parents "your daddy ran away because he doesn't love you and your mom is going to run away from you too" or "when you are asleep im going to climb in your window with a knife and stab you" and these responses came from a trivial act, the latter i heard from my window during a game of catch where he was caught and didn't want to be.

    he has repeatedly harassed private neighbours living locally too,

    you say anything to his mother (or the other mothers living local) and you get:

    "its not him/her its you, you just hate children"
    "get away from my door"
    "My *** would never say/do that you must have him/her confused with ***"
    "Boys will by boys"
    "girls will be girls"
    or my personal favourite "are you discriminating against him/her because he/she has behavioral issues/autism'"


  • #270
    OldNotWIse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,468 ✭✭✭✭OldNotWIse


    hoodwinked wrote: »
    the bolded part is it in a nutshell, other mothers around here are the exact same, and they are definitely raising sociopaths of the future,

    i hate saying anything about a child but one of them in the time i've been living here has yet to say/do something that is not evil or designed to hurt others. at 7 years of age he's been known to tell children of single parents "your daddy ran away because he doesn't love you and your mom is going to run away from you too" or "when you are asleep im going to climb in your window with a knife and stab you" and these responses came from a trivial act, the latter i heard from my window during a game of catch where he was caught and didn't want to be.

    he has repeatedly harassed private neighbours living locally too,

    you say anything to his mother (or the other mothers living local) and you get:

    "its not him/her its you, you just hate children"
    "get away from my door"
    "My *** would never say/do that you must have him/her confused with ***"
    "Boys will by boys"
    "girls will be girls"
    or my personal favourite "are you discriminating against him/her because he/she has behavioral issues/autism'"
    this. My nan's friend is a primary school teacher and she told my Nan that a lot of the time its a wasted exercise telling parents anything bad their kids have done - they just refuse to believe that theit little angel could behave badly. The teacher is "victimising" little Johnny. ffs. The children know how their parents will react so they dont care. The kids where I live are a fuucking nightmare. out til all hours screeching and roaring and generally disturbing everyone. No amount of talking to them helps. Siiiiiiick of them. By all means procreate...but dont expect others to put up with your progeny just because you dont want them in the house before 10pm :D

    and another thing, if I catch them throwing stuff at my cat again I'll fuucking kill them - dont care how old they are lol


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  • #271
    imtdub
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 249 ✭✭imtdub


    Ush1 wrote: »
    You do sound charming in fairness.:)

    :D


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