Smacking yes or no

Jiggers77

So I have just engaged in a lively debate with work colleagues, a mix of men and women about the pros and cons of smacking children, a really old chestnut I know!. To my relief the vast majority of us were opposed to this but one guy was very pro and even went as far as to say if he had kids (Thank God he doesnt) he would have no problem taking his belt to them and believe me he wasnt kidding. Hes the same age as myself (37) and I was gob smacked.
I thought punishing kids like that went out with the arc. I was the youngest of four boys growing up and as a child of the 80's often found myself at the business end of the old mans belt, that was how things were down in those times but surely not today.
Whats the consensus? Does anyone else out there feel that its appropriate? Surely its not even legal to hit kids like that these days. Im still amzed at his attitude. I couldnt even imagine laying a hand on a child!

NothingMan

I got a clatter if I was being a little shit and it done me no harm.

uch

Here we go again, Gets popcorn

Mr Benevolent

If you have to resort to hitting a kid to get them to do what you want then you're not doing it right. Parents that hit kids regularly tend not to be too bright.

Jester252

Did a smack do you any harm?

Dr.MickKiller

Yeah, spank me.

Jiggers77

Mr Benevolent wrote: »

If you have to resort to hitting a kid to get them to do what you want then you're not doing it right.

My sentiment exactly! Smacking is one thing using a belt is something else

stimpson

Ask him does he slap his missus.

All the excuses used for hitting kids used to be rolled out to support wifebeating.

eviltwin

Smacking isn't something I've needed to do with my kids but maybe I'm just lucky mine are okay. I know sometimes its hard not to but I grew up in a house where everything that we did wrong was dealt with by a smack. Once my dad smacked me and whatever happened I ended up falling backwards and hit my head against a table corner, I had to go to hospital and needed 10 stitches. My dad got a real shock that day and never hit us again.

Duggy747

What about the wooden spoon, the Irish Mammy's nuclear option?

Captain Chaos

All the kids I see being brought up today with no smacking mostly are cheeky as fuk and run a muck constantly and don't think twice about. The parents are just like "stop that now jonny", it falls on deaf ears. If I acted like that when younger I'd be battered, so I didn't carry on like that.

major bill

Mr Benevolent wrote: »

If you have to resort to hitting a kid to get them to do what you want then you're not doing it right. Parents that hit kids regularly tend not to be too bright.

Yea cos the nice/bribe approach works so well

If a child is been a little bollox then a slap is needed, the majority of people on this forum i say got slapped as a child and are mostly doing all right in life.

Its excessive Violence thats the problem.

cantdecide

A parent is not to know the long term consequences of smacking their kids. To some children, you might say it 'works'. They straightem right up. To more, they will recall it simply as a violent act.

Best err on the side of caution, IMO.

Sergeant

Smacking. Absolutely not. Putting them in a coal bunker for the night so they can have a good long think about what they've done - definitely.

Tasden

I got the occasional smack as a child and it did me no harm. I have never felt the need to hit my own child but I don't think I'd be overly opposed to it. Can't say for sure though.
I don't agree with regular smacks for general misbehaving though. You see some mothers hit their child for just being a child rather than telling them to calm down. I'd rather my child respected me enough to stop when I tell them to rather than when I give them a smack.

Also, not smacking your child does not automatically equate to a nicey nice approach where you let the child run riot. Some people are able to raise kids properly with no violence and still have the child respect them.

biko

"Don't make me put the beer down and come over there!"

BoardsMember

Some kids that have no respect for authority at all need a paddling sometimes, but that's more to do with how they have been brought up to date. I dont slap my kids.

Boombastic

Captain Chaos wrote: »

All the kids I see being brought up today with no smacking mostly are cheeky as fuk and run a muck constantly and don't think twice about. The parents are just like "stop that now jonny", it falls on deaf ears. If I acted like that when younger I'd be battered, so I didn't carry on like that.

Ah, sure they all have ADHD

stimpson

Captain Chaos wrote: »

All the wives I see today with no smacking mostly are cheeky as fuk and run a muck constantly and don't think twice about. The husbands are just like "stop that now mary", it falls on deaf ears. If my wife acted like that she'd be battered, so she doesn't carry on like that.

See what I did there?

Kintarō Hattori

It really does depend on the situation and the severity of what was done but a little tap does no harm once it's enforced why.

As a child of the 80s I was occasionally smacked. I haven't grown up to be a psychopath, I haven't killed or assaulted anyone, I'm not a delinquent, I'm not socially awkward. I have a healthy outlook on life, a respect for those around me and towards life in general. I work hard and would generally be thought well of.

I was raised in a loving family, thought to respect people and property. I was taught right from wrong and occasionally when I stepped out of line and didn't listen to what was being told to me, I was smacked....... and deservedly so.

Everything has it's place and this line of horror at being smacked is quite ridiculous. If a child is completely out of line, doesn't respond to measured discipline, doesn't heed the authority being directed at it, then perhaps, just perhaps, a smack is what it needs to really make it aware that you can't carry on whatever way you please.

gobnaitolunacy

major bill wrote: »

the majority of people on this forum i say got slapped as a child and are mostly doing all right in life.

Poll for this? Would have interesting results...

CardBordWindow

Smack once for yes,
Smack twice for no.

Peregrine

Beautiful AH

So why stop with children? Everytime anyone does something stupid, should we have the authority to smack them too?

jank

Smacking yes, physical abuse no. People are too soft today then wonder why the kids are running wild.

MoonDancer

I always said I wasn't going to slap my kids. My oldest is 10, and he has become very challenging lately, the latest incident he shouted in my face and called me a "stupid b*tch" when I wouldn't let him have his own way.
He got a good slap on the bare leg for that.

Meangadh

The only smacking I ever would have gotten as a kid was maybe a small slap on the hand if I went to take something or put my hand somewhere dangerous (like a cooker or something), and maybe even a slap on the arse but I honestly don't even really remember.

I'd like to think I'd never smack a child but if I even only ever did what I described above like my parents did I really don't think it'd do any emotional damage to the child. They may have given me the very odd smack (it wouldn't even have hurt!) but my parents are legends- drive me mad sometimes, but overall they're brilliant. I certainly wouldn't be judging their skills as parents on how they disciplined me as a youngster.

Darkglasses

Was never smacked as a child, and I turned out fine too.

sunflower27

There's a big difference between a smack and a belting. Personally I find the 'I would never ever smack my child' brigade bl**dy annoying as fcuk. They seem to have these airs and graces that they are somehow 'better' parents. And their kids are usually the ones behaving like total brats.

You only have to look at the way kids run riot today to see how much things have changed. I am not saying kids should be beat - I am obviously totally against that, but saying a smack is abuse and will have damaging effects down the line.... give me a break. Did myself and my friends no harm.

simply simple

One thing I strongly believe is the more you USE it the more you will NEED it in future.
hard to resist, but worth it, it takes time for kids to believe that no matter what they do they wont be hurt but explained about what was wrong and why was it wrong, Helps them use their rational thinking and in future decides themselves to behave good rather than getting someone beat them up for doing it.
I got few slaps on my face (not very very hard) when I was small but am still angry for it somewhere inside.

DesperateDan

Everyone in favour of it says "it did me no harm", well guess what a more effective manner of doing no harm to children is? NOT beating them for misbehaving. I can gladly say I was never hit as a child and you know what, it did me no harm....

humbert

If the child responds to logic and reason use logic and reason, if it doesn't wallop the little bastard.

xzanti

As someone else said.. a little swat on the bum if they're being overly bold and a 'Time-Out' hasn't done the trick.. As long as they are over the age of about 5 IMHO.

Unfortunately, as with everything though, it is open to abuse.. and there is a thin line between correcting a child with a little slap and actually beating them.. So I think it is important to have regulations in place.

Tell people that it's ok to smack kids and you will get a certain minority taking that as a green light for child abuse.

the_syco

When I was younger, I got a slap if I was bold, and the threat of the wooden spoon kept me in line, mostly.

This style, I agree with, but smacking a child every time they did something wrong will mean that smacking isn't working any more, and another tactic should be used.

RikkFlair

A swift single slap across the back of the head when they've done something wrong. What's wrong with that?

Don't overdo it obviously, but equally don't give me some bull**** like "I'm letting my child explore his own boundaries etc etc"

NothingMan

People equating a disciplinary smack on the backside with "beating" is hilarious. I was smacked as a child, not beaten.

Ruu

Duggy747 wrote: »

What about the wooden spoon, the Irish Mammy's nuclear option?

Sally rod! Many a time the car would be pulled over with threat issued.

hidinginthebush

Nimrod 7 wrote: »

Beautiful AH

So why stop with children? Everytime anyone does something stupid, should we have the authority to smack them too?

Are the children your property?

Also people saying 'I got a smack in the 80s and I turned out okay', well I didn't and I turned out fine too?

I know you're using that as the out of control, worst case scenario, but I'd reallllly love to be able to do that!

Dravokivich

DesperateDan wrote: »

Everyone in favour of it says "it did me no harm", well guess what a more effective manner of doing no harm to children is? NOT beating them for misbehaving. I can gladly say I was never hit as a child and you know what, it did me no harm....

I can tell the difference between a slap/smack and a beating. I'll advise you, it's not particularly subtle.

J_E

Never. Think it's abusive, full stop. For all the people who say getting a smack did no harm, didn't do me any harm not to be smacked either. If your parents need to hit you to bring you up properly there's something amiss. I wonder how some parents can do that regularly to a child who is essentially defenseless. There's always a better way.

Ush1

Do we deem physical violence as the answer for beings of less intelligence than us doing something we don't like?

Animals, children, the disabled, elderly, etc...

People who commit crime aren't smacked and told don't do that, we put them in jail.

cripesonfriday

I was smacked occasionally as a child and it never did me any harm, I also sat in the back seat of the car with no seat belt and that never did me any harm.

But it's thirty years later, and we've moved on, and we belt kids in cars and we don't belt them anywhere else. I'd never hit my kids, and I have never even been close to feeling it was necessary.

For someone to say they'd take a belt to their (thankfully imaginary) kids as in the original post is psychotic

gobnaitolunacy

I didn't think it did me a disservice when a clip was doled out by my parents. But I'm still p*ssed off to this day about the ould crone of a national school teacher who used the 'bata'.

humbert

Ush1 wrote: »

Do we deem physical violence as the answer for beings of less intelligence than us doing something we don't like?

Animals, children, the disabled, elderly, etc...

People who commit crime aren't smacked and told don't do that, we put them in jail.

The elderly are less intelligence than us?

Ush1

humbert wrote: »

The elderly are less intelligence than us?

Well unfortunately it can happen at a certain stage. Not all disabled people or even children for that matter are either.

SicklySweet

I was threatened a lot with the aul wooden spoon. :P My mum said she smacked me once and felt so guilty, she didn't forgive herself for years afterwards. This is because her father used to beat her as a child.

Myself, i have no kids, but i think i'll go down the wooden spoon route too. I'll already admit i won't have the patience to do the naughty step/train them like a puppy not to do this and that.

I've also had this debate also before and one thing that will always stick out in my mind from it, was someone saying "As long as you don't leave a mark" and "slap them where others can't see marks". :rolleyes:

sunflower27

NothingMan wrote: »

People equating a disciplinary smack on the backside with "beating" is hilarious. I was smacked as a child, not beaten.

I agree. It is the look of horror on some people's faces when you say you would have no problem smacking a naughty child that I find hilarious. :pac:

The threat of a smack kept me on the straight and narrow.

jigglypuffstuff

NothingMan wrote: »

I got a clatter if I was being a little shit and it done me no harm.

It probably did subconciously

major bill wrote: »

If a child is been a little bollox then a slap is needed

No it isn't

cantdecide wrote: »

A parent is not to know the long term consequences of smacking their kids.

This is made clearly evident by some of the uneducated opinions fired out here.

Tasden wrote: »

Some people are able to raise kids properly with no violence and still have the child respect them.

That should say every person is, Some just couldnt be bothered!!

sunflower27 wrote: »

I would never ever smack my child' brigade bl**dy annoying as fcuk. They seem to have these airs and graces that they are somehow 'better' parents.

Because they are, any parents who resort to physical violence or the threat of it clearly lack parenting skills, In particular... patience

RikkFlair wrote: »

A swift single slap across the back of the head when they've done something wrong. What's wrong with that?

Don't overdo it obviously, but equally don't give me some bull**** like "I'm letting my child explore his own boundaries etc etc"

Thats no BS its the truth children need to explore boundaries to learn whats right and wrong, physical violence is never needed or the threat of it

sunflower27 wrote: »

I agree. It is the look of horror on some people's faces when you say you would have no problem smacking a naughty child

Would you blame them? Hate it or love it thats an act of physical abuse and always unnecessary. You can clearly see that smacking was a prevalent thing when the majority of posters here (including myself) were young.

We must learn from history, not repeat it.

DesperateDan

NothingMan wrote: »

People equating a disciplinary smack on the backside with "beating" is hilarious. I was smacked as a child, not beaten.

At the end of the day you are still hurting a defenseless child no matter how it's described.

Boombastic

pone2012 wrote: »

...............
We must learn from history, not repeat it.

But we're still tripping over ourselves to get our children institutionalised as young as possible.

4zn76tysfajdxp

I used to get smacked around as a kid and it didn't never did me no harm. Well, except I'm angry all the time. So I can't wait to start beating the **** out of my kids.

The Backwards Man

It always amuses me that those who advocate never disciplining children raise the most obnoxious twats you are ever likely to meet. You would almost think the two were correlated.