Shortest jokes ever!

# People keep telling me I'm beautiful. What vivid imaginations some people have.

# Don't look out of the window, Betty, people will think it's Halloween.

# What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV presenter? The producer said she had the perfect face for radio.

# Did you hear about the witch who did a four year course in ugliness? She finished it in two.

# Why was the cannibal expelled from school? Because he kept buttering up the teacher.

# When do cannibals cook you? On Fried-days.

# I'm not ugly. I could marry anyone I pleased! But that's the problem - you don't please anyone.

If there was a 'Bi-Sexual Pride' parade, would it go both ways?

My name is Will, call me "W" for short

Did you hear about the bloke who lost his left arm and left leg in a car crash? He's all right now.

What did one lesbian say to another? "Your face or mine?"



What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.



What would happen if pigs could fly? Bacon would go up.



What did one lesbian say to another? "Your face or mine?"

Why did Tigger look in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh.

What do you call an Alligator in a vest..an Investigator

The Friesian cow shivered......

Whats brown and sticky?

A stick.

Lance Armstrong should be applauded for being able to ride on bike so well on drugs. I tried it once & hit a dog and fell into a canal.

Q: How does a woman scare a gynacologist? A: By becoming a ventriloquist!

Why does a squirel swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry

How do you disperse an angry Scottish mob? Take up a collection.

Buggery is boring. Incest is relatively boring, Necrophilia is dead boring.



Sodomy puns are sexual in ur endo



If you mated a bull dog and a ****su,you would have a bull****.



Never take a nurse as a lover. They're taught to wait until the swelling goes down.



What do you call 25 lesbians stacked on top of each other? A block of flaps

PREMATURE EJACULATION: The come before the scorn.



Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.



It takes many nails to build a crib, but only one screw to fill it.



My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.



Shortcoming: Premature ejaculation.



Necromancer: Someone who shares a last bier with a loved one.



DONKEY BARBECUE: Where everybody gets a piece of ass.