If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)

Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Shortest jokes ever!

14-03-2012 06:28PM

#1
DogsFirst

Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 360 ✭✭

Join Date: September 2011

Posts: 356
Venison's dear isn't it?

That's all I got.

Tagged:

funny

humour

jokes

short jokes

5

Comments

#2 14-03-2012 06:36PM

tayto lover

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 53,880 ✭✭✭✭

Join Date: April 2011

Posts: 53817

Are people who jump into the river in Paris insane ? (in seine)

0
#3 14-03-2012 07:37PM

Bootup

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭

Join Date: February 2012

Posts: 6805

The leper went to the gun dealer to buy some arms.

The dyslexic dog? He barked, "Krab! Krab! Fur! Fur!"

0
#4 14-03-2012 07:39PM

jackdock88

Closed Accounts Posts: 34 ✭

Join Date: March 2012

Posts: 34

Man walks into a bar and says ouch

0
#5 14-03-2012 07:58PM

Bootup

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭

Join Date: February 2012

Posts: 6805

The cross-eyed dog? He kept barking up the wrong tree.

0
#6 14-03-2012 08:00PM

fungun

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,120 ✭✭✭

Join Date: July 2009

Posts: 1100

yore ma

0
Advertisement
#7 14-03-2012 08:16PM

Bootup

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭

Join Date: February 2012

Posts: 6805

Half the people you know are below average.

0
#8 14-03-2012 08:20PM

Koloman

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,630 ✭✭✭

Join Date: December 2008

Posts: 2602

A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says, "Why the long face?"

0
#9 14-03-2012 09:25PM

Bearhunter

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 656 ✭✭✭

Join Date: October 2008

Posts: 652

Dyslexic bloke walks into a bra...

0
#10 14-03-2012 09:55PM

tayto lover

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 53,880 ✭✭✭✭

Join Date: April 2011

Posts: 53817

The dyslexic protest march to the Dail ended in chaos when they all arrived at Aldi.

0
#11 14-03-2012 09:57PM

[Deleted User]
Posts: 50,630 ✭✭✭✭

Join Date: -

Posts: 50630

Six out of seven dwarves aren't happy

0
Advertisement
#12 14-03-2012 09:57PM

tonedef

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 220 ✭✭

Join Date: August 2005

Posts: 198

Dwarf shortage

0
#13 14-03-2012 10:12PM

Hunchback

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,629 ✭✭✭

Join Date: January 2009

Posts: 1590

.

0
#14 15-03-2012 11:57AM

Bootup

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭

Join Date: February 2012

Posts: 6805

Headquarters: The room where enlisted women blow the officers.

0
#15 16-03-2012 03:29AM

Mellor

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,259 ✭✭✭✭

Join Date: May 2006

Posts: 39928

Stationary shop moves

0
#16 16-03-2012 03:34AM

Paulie Gualtieri

Closed Accounts Posts: 420 ✭✭

Join Date: March 2012

Posts: 403

Old McDonald was dyslexic a,e,p,m,x

0
#17 16-03-2012 04:35AM

Paulie Gualtieri

Closed Accounts Posts: 420 ✭✭

Join Date: March 2012

Posts: 403

Enda Kenny

0
#18 16-03-2012 10:21AM

Bootup

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭

Join Date: February 2012

Posts: 6805

Headquarters: The room where enlisted women blow the officers.

0
#19 16-03-2012 10:23AM

BunShopVoyeur

Closed Accounts Posts: 1,268 ✭✭✭

Join Date: February 2011

Posts: 1243

Bono

0
#20 16-03-2012 10:26AM

saintsaltynuts

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,122 ✭✭✭

Join Date: June 2010

Posts: 1119

How do ye cook a monkey?
Gorilla.

0
#21 16-03-2012 10:26AM

Bootup

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭

Join Date: February 2012

Posts: 6805

Contrary to popular belief, Grape Nuts is not a venereal disease.

0
Advertisement
#22 16-03-2012 10:27AM

LoanShark

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 949 ✭✭✭

Join Date: December 2007

Posts: 890

D'ya hear about the missing Romanian? Well, there will be no Big Issue..

0
#23 16-03-2012 01:32PM

Bootup

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭

Join Date: February 2012

Posts: 6805

Another name for pickled bread is Dill-dough.

0
#24 16-03-2012 02:55PM

Nothingbetter2d

Closed Accounts Posts: 4,037 ✭✭✭

Join Date: January 2007

Posts: 3979

what do you call a confused chinese man? Hu Yu

0
#25 16-03-2012 02:56PM

Nothingbetter2d

Closed Accounts Posts: 4,037 ✭✭✭

Join Date: January 2007

Posts: 3979

what do you call a chinese man that was arrested by mistake? Won Gai

0
#26 16-03-2012 03:02PM

dak

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,577 ✭✭✭

Join Date: October 2006

Posts: 1943

That cow joke is a load of Bull!

0
#27 16-03-2012 03:05PM

Bootup

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭

Join Date: February 2012

Posts: 6805

Taxidermist: A man who mounts animals.

0
#28 16-03-2012 03:05PM

PhantomShrimp

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 42 ✭

Join Date: December 2010

Posts: 37

RTE

0
#29 16-03-2012 03:07PM

Bootup

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭

Join Date: February 2012

Posts: 6805

Trust: Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob

0
#30 16-03-2012 03:09PM

Mongarra

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,119 ✭✭✭

Join Date: December 2009

Posts: 1110

Conversation between 2 gay cowboys - "Yup?". "Yep".

0
Advertisement
#31 16-03-2012 03:12PM

Bootup

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭

Join Date: February 2012

Posts: 6805

Optics researchers have lots of light reading.

0
#32 16-03-2012 03:15PM

Plumpynuter

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 112 ✭✭

Join Date: November 2011

Posts: 110

Leaper says to hooker,

Keep the tip

0
#33 16-03-2012 03:17PM

Plumpynuter

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 112 ✭✭

Join Date: November 2011

Posts: 110

Went to the zoo with only one dog in it

It was a shiatsu

0
#34 16-03-2012 03:18PM

Plumpynuter

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 112 ✭✭

Join Date: November 2011

Posts: 110

Ahern

0
#35 16-03-2012 05:59PM

Bootup

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭

Join Date: February 2012

Posts: 6805

There’s a repair shop for baroque musical instruments.

0
#36 16-03-2012 05:59PM

Bootup

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭

Join Date: February 2012

Posts: 6805

A pyromaniac was quite disappointed when he checked out Match.com

0
Advertisement
#37 16-03-2012 06:03PM

blindpilot

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,346 ✭✭✭

Join Date: February 2008

Posts: 1333

Velcro. What a rip off!!

0
#38 16-03-2012 06:06PM

Bootup

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭

Join Date: February 2012

Posts: 6805

The wise never marry, and when they marry they become otherwise.

0
#39 17-03-2012 02:39PM

Bootup

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭

Join Date: February 2012

Posts: 6805

A nurse is a pan handler.

0
#40 18-03-2012 02:19PM

Bootup

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭

Join Date: February 2012

Posts: 6805

do they get virgin wool from Ugly sheep.

0
#41 18-03-2012 02:23PM

TheIrishGrover

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,344 ✭✭✭

Join Date: July 2005

Posts: 6102

Yore knob

0
Advertisement
#42 18-03-2012 07:05PM

Bootup

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭

Join Date: February 2012

Posts: 6805

The leper lost the poker game when he threw in his hand.

0
#43 19-03-2012 04:22PM

Bootup

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭

Join Date: February 2012

Posts: 6805

Dammit i'm mad is Dammit i'm mad spelled backwards

0
#44 19-03-2012 09:26PM

LoanShark

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 949 ✭✭✭

Join Date: December 2007

Posts: 890

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

0
#45 20-03-2012 11:37AM

POINTBREAK

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,135 ✭✭✭

Join Date: August 2009

Posts: 2121

http://i.imgur.com/9R3cx.jpg

0
#46 20-03-2012 01:07PM

Bootup

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭

Join Date: February 2012

Posts: 6805

When women enter middle age, it gives men a pause.

0
#47 20-03-2012 01:09PM

blatantrereg

Closed Accounts Posts: 2,743 ✭✭✭

Join Date: November 2011

Posts: 2612

Hemingway was famed for his "For sale: baby shoes, never worn."
Bit of a sick bastard really; that's not funny at all.

0
#48 20-03-2012 01:12PM

lmao

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 386 ✭✭

Join Date: June 2009

Posts: 381

N B G A..... That's bang out of order.

0
#49 20-03-2012 02:04PM

Bootup

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭

Join Date: February 2012

Posts: 6805

Curiosity Killed the Cat: that's the dog's story, and he's sticking to it

0
#50 20-03-2012 06:11PM

theoneeyedman

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,056 ✭✭✭

Join Date: July 2010

Posts: 6995

shortest joke in history.....Irish rugby's record of grand-slam wins over the last 70 odd years!

0
#51 21-03-2012 04:36PM

rgmmg

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 541 ✭✭✭

Join Date: February 2012

Posts: 526

3 testicled russian - whodyounik abollickov

0
Advertisement