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Shortest jokes ever!

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    #182
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    "I like variety in my sex," said Tom indifferently.


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    #183
    gammygils
    Registered Users Posts: 17,236 ✭✭✭✭gammygils


    Roses are red. Violets are blue
    I'm a schizophrenic
    And so am I


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    #184
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Everyone wants to work at the impotency clinic because it's a soft job.


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    #185
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as an altar boy.


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    #186
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Two gay men had an argument in a gay bar.They went outside to exchange blows.


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    #187
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.


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    #188
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    'Shortcoming': Premature ejaculation.


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    #189
    tayto lover
    Registered Users Posts: 51,509 ✭✭✭✭tayto lover


    New cheese shop in Nazareth. It's called "Cheeses of Nazareth".


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    #190
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    What's the speed limit of sex? 68; at 69 you have to turn around.


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    #191
    rubadubduba
    Closed Accounts Posts: 152 ✭✭rubadubduba


    why do bald men walk around with greyhounds.?

    ans. to chase the hair from the back of their heads to the front.


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    #192
    Javan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 265 ✭✭Javan


    Gay Byrne: Go on, say something funny.
    Peter Ustinov: No.


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    #193
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    How can you tell a tough lesbian bar? Even the pool table has no balls.


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    #194
    rubadubduba
    Closed Accounts Posts: 152 ✭✭rubadubduba


    whats the smallest hotel in the world.

    a fanny.

    because you have to leave your bags outside.


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    #195
    dvae
    Registered Users Posts: 335 ✭✭dvae


    whats the difference between a bird and a fly?

    a bird can fly, but a fly can't bird.


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    #196
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Why is it that the first thing we try to do after killing a pig is to cure it?


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    #197
    komodosp
    Registered Users Posts: 1,657 ✭✭✭komodosp


    How do you make Lady Gaga?
    Poke 'er face.


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    #198
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    What's worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper? Getting fingered by Captain Hook.


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    #199
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    What kind of lights did Noah use on the ark? Flood lights.


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    #200
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Sign on the door of a brothel... Beat IT - we're closed.


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    #201
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Hymen: Males after smoking pot.


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    #202
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    What do you call a dead athiest?

    All dressed up and no place to go!


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    #203
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No Hard Feelings".


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    #204
    silverwood
    Registered Users Posts: 269 ✭✭silverwood


    I saw a guy carrying a long pole. I said to him "Are you a pole vaulter?".

    He said "No, I'm German and how did you know my name was Walter?".


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    #205
    MonkieSocks
    Registered Users Posts: 8,271 ✭✭✭MonkieSocks


    My cousin went to Switzerland for assisted suicide and for her last breakfast the tactless bastards gave her a bowl of Cheerio's..!!

    =(:-) Me? I know who I am. I'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude (-:)=



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    #206
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Aspic: Rectal scratching.


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    #207
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Why did the spy pull the sheets over his head? He was an undercover agent.


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    #208
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Dictaphone: Instrument for making obscene calls.


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    #209
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Did you hear about the gay milkman? He never left an empty behind.


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    #210
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Adam met Eve and turned over a new leaf.


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    #211
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    What is the difference between medium and rare? Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.


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