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Shortest jokes ever!

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    #152
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    At what time of day was Adam created? A little before Eve


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    #153
    bdoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 574 ✭✭✭bdoo


    Growing up, people would say to me "baa baa"

    I was a bit of a black sheep alright.


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    #154
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Gynecologist: A spreader of old wives' tails.


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    #155
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Safe Sex: A padded headboard.


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    #156
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Do bisexuals have two track minds?


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    #157
    Denis Horan
    Registered Users Posts: 41 ✭Denis Horan


    Why did the duck cross the road?
    For the quack.


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    #158
    Denis Horan
    Registered Users Posts: 41 ✭Denis Horan


    What is black and white and red all over?
    A sunburnt penguin.


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    #159
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.


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    #160
    paddy kerins
    Site Banned Posts: 1,856 ✭✭✭paddy kerins


    Gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys


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    #161
    Witcher
    Registered Users Posts: 14,472 ✭✭✭✭Witcher


    Dyslexic goes to a toga party dressed as a goat.


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    #162
    donegal_man
    Registered Users Posts: 5,707 ✭✭✭donegal_man


    What's black and white and doesn't fit in an elevator?



    A penguin carrying a javelin


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    #163
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.


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    #164
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    We are hosting a charity concert for people who struggle to reach orgasm. If you can't come let me know.


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    #165
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Diarrhea is hereditary. It runs in your jeans.


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    #166
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Impotent Loser: A guy who can't even get his hopes up.


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    #167
    blastman
    Registered Users Posts: 5,449 ✭✭✭blastman


    Possibly the world's shortest physics joke:

    Schroedinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.


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    #168
    Supermensch
    Registered Users Posts: 270 ✭✭Supermensch


    Short-ish maths joke.

    f(x) walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry, we don't cater for functions".


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    #169
    f1dan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,002 ✭✭✭f1dan


    Bootup wrote: »
    How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

    Then he sells it for prophet.


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    #170
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    When you make music using a pair of metallic dildos, you are using phallic cymbals.


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    #171
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    If you sneeze without a tissue, you take matter into your own hands.


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    #172
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Black holes really suck...


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    #173
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    "Daddy, Daddy, what's a transvestite?" “Shut up and unhook my bra!"


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    #174
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil...


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    #175
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Why is a joke like a pussy? Neither is any fun if you don't get it.


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    #176
    ART6
    Registered Users Posts: 2,632 ✭✭✭ART6


    Gravity is a myth. The earth sucks.


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    #177
    tossy
    Registered Users Posts: 9,588 ✭✭✭tossy


    Bootup wrote: »
    Why is a joke like a pussy? Neither is any fun if you don't get it.

    If pussy is in anyway like your jokes i think i'm going to have to jump ship :D


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    #178
    ART6
    Registered Users Posts: 2,632 ✭✭✭ART6


    Innuendo is an Italian suppository.


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    #179
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    A vasectomy means never having to say you're sorry.


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    #180
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Without nipples, breasts would be pointless.


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    #181
    Bootup
    Registered Users Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    What do you call two lesbian skunks locked in a 69? oder eaters


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