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Shortest jokes ever!

1…457910

Comments

  • #182
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    "I like variety in my sex," said Tom indifferently.


  • #183
    gammygils
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,614 ✭✭✭✭gammygils


    Roses are red. Violets are blue
    I'm a schizophrenic
    And so am I


  • #184
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Everyone wants to work at the impotency clinic because it's a soft job.


  • #185
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as an altar boy.


  • #186
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Two gay men had an argument in a gay bar.They went outside to exchange blows.


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  • #187
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.


  • #188
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    'Shortcoming': Premature ejaculation.


  • #189
    tayto lover
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 55,575 ✭✭✭✭tayto lover


    New cheese shop in Nazareth. It's called "Cheeses of Nazareth".


  • #190
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    What's the speed limit of sex? 68; at 69 you have to turn around.


  • #191
    rubadubduba
    Closed Accounts Posts: 152 ✭✭rubadubduba


    why do bald men walk around with greyhounds.?

    ans. to chase the hair from the back of their heads to the front.


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  • #192
    Javan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 265 ✭✭Javan


    Gay Byrne: Go on, say something funny.
    Peter Ustinov: No.


  • #193
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    How can you tell a tough lesbian bar? Even the pool table has no balls.


  • #194
    rubadubduba
    Closed Accounts Posts: 152 ✭✭rubadubduba


    whats the smallest hotel in the world.

    a fanny.

    because you have to leave your bags outside.


  • #195
    dvae
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 335 ✭✭dvae


    whats the difference between a bird and a fly?

    a bird can fly, but a fly can't bird.


  • #196
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Why is it that the first thing we try to do after killing a pig is to cure it?


  • #197
    komodosp
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,657 ✭✭✭komodosp


    How do you make Lady Gaga?
    Poke 'er face.


  • #198
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    What's worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper? Getting fingered by Captain Hook.


  • #199
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    What kind of lights did Noah use on the ark? Flood lights.


  • #200
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Sign on the door of a brothel... Beat IT - we're closed.


  • #201
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Hymen: Males after smoking pot.


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  • #202
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    What do you call a dead athiest?

    All dressed up and no place to go!


  • #203
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No Hard Feelings".


  • #204
    silverwood
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 271 ✭✭silverwood


    I saw a guy carrying a long pole. I said to him "Are you a pole vaulter?".

    He said "No, I'm German and how did you know my name was Walter?".


  • #205
    MonkieSocks
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,393 ✭✭✭MonkieSocks


    My cousin went to Switzerland for assisted suicide and for her last breakfast the tactless bastards gave her a bowl of Cheerio's..!!

    =(:-) Me? I know who I am. I'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude (-:)=



  • #206
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Aspic: Rectal scratching.


  • #207
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Why did the spy pull the sheets over his head? He was an undercover agent.


  • #208
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Dictaphone: Instrument for making obscene calls.


  • #209
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Did you hear about the gay milkman? He never left an empty behind.


  • #210
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    Adam met Eve and turned over a new leaf.


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  • #211
    Bootup
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,912 ✭✭✭Bootup


    What is the difference between medium and rare? Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.


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