'I Wouldnt ride her into battle', 'Her face looks like a bag of bent euros'

From the film "I Went Down"

Look at the state of him now, he'd be lucky if some Arab let him finger the arse off his dog....for a fiver!!!

For the unkept 'Lady Garden'

I thought her fanny was a Dubliners Tribute Band

He used to be schizophrenic but his little voices got fed up and left

Winston has it sorted though.....I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

Sweating like a dyslexic kid in a game of countdown

She has a face like a camel chewing a wham bar

She was so ugly even the dog closed his eyes when he humped her leg!!!

She had a face like a carpenters thumb!!

She has a nose like a builders elbow.

She had a fanny like a cave with a swinging monkey in it!!

So hungry I'd eat the plaque of a knackers tooth!!

I seen better legs in a snackbox.
That wind would blow a traveler off his sister

She's as tight as a nuns cnut!
I wouldnt get up on her to get over her!
Smell off her would knock a tinker off his sister!
Look's like she's been bobbing for apples in a chip pan
She's seen more japs eye than an japanese optician
He's about as useless as tits on a nun
She's a face like a toilet at Oxygen!
I wouldn't trust him as far as I'd piss into the wind

Can't think of anymore right now!

He's so camp, he'd sh*te tent pegs.

face like the north end of a south bound badger

two ends of the same boll*x