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'I Wouldnt ride her into battle', 'Her face looks like a bag of bent euros'

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    #572
    markfla
    Registered Users Posts: 335 ✭✭markfla


    She'd suck the mattress through your hole


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    #573
    Yurt2
    Registered Users Posts: 9,381 ✭✭✭Yurt2


    stefan idiot jones wrote: »
    Parking my breakfast.

    Feeding the fishes.

    Laying a cable.

    Liberating Mandela.

    Giving birth.

    Taking James Brown to the Superbowl

    Gordon Brown is about to leave office


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    #574
    toastedpickles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,607 ✭✭✭toastedpickles


    Heard this in work tonight, "jaysis that lad's as thick as porridge!"


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    #575
    jacksie66
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,988 ✭✭✭jacksie66


    This post has been deleted.


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    #576
    fatknacker
    Registered Users Posts: 2,342 ✭✭✭fatknacker


    TheShizz wrote: »
    I wouldn't give you a bone if your name was Rex.

    The only thing I'd put inside you would be a grenade.

    I'd only take you up the aisle if it was the aisle of a plane and we were going to the doors so I could push you out and you'd die.

    I wouldn't shift you if my caps lock button was broken.

    I wouldn't get up on you if you were one of those rodeo bull yokes you see in Spain and the top prize for staying on the longest was a grand.

    I wouldn't bring you to bed if you were a hot water bottle which **** me off.

    The only thing I'd put on your finger would be one of those yokes you chop the end of cigars with.

    I wouldn't shag you if your gee leaked penis enhancement cream.

    Am I doing this right?

    You smell like a very old fish that's been left on an old fishing boat in the hot sun for about 3 weeks or more.

    I wouldn't get up on you if you were a small and accessible mountain made out of sweets and XBOX's newest games.

    If I had a really big winkie and magic fingers and a tongue, I'd surely still not have sex with you because I don't think I fancy you and wouldn't enjoy it very much, even though you would love it.


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    #577
    Pat D. Almighty
    Registered Users Posts: 668 ✭✭✭Pat D. Almighty


    Face like a bag of sick


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    #578
    fatknacker
    Registered Users Posts: 2,342 ✭✭✭fatknacker


    He's so stupid he got lots of F's in his school tests.

    If she had an empty bag of gees, she'd still be a gee bag.



    I wish I could sleep now.


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    #579
    MrStuffins
    Registered Users Posts: 19,148 ✭✭✭✭MrStuffins


    fatknacker wrote: »
    He's so stupid he got lots of F's in his school tests.

    BUUUUURN!!!!


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    #580
    Splinter
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 3,331 ✭✭✭Splinter


    heard one of the weekend that's more useful when directed at someone.

    "I haven't got the time, patience, nor the crayons to explain this to you again"


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    #581
    Mick55
    Registered Users Posts: 335 ✭✭Mick55


    Jaysus I'm Sweating like Josef Fritzl on MTV Cribs

    edit: Bollox posted already a few pages back..

    Head on her like a chewed toffee


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    #582
    Saipanne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,882 ✭✭✭Saipanne


    Fanny like a burst couch.


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    #583
    TheOtherBloke
    Registered Users Posts: 232 ✭✭TheOtherBloke


    This my old account thread. Im suprised its still on here.. aah good times. Everyone who's posted gave us all a good laugh


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    #584
    Gran Hermano
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,330 ✭✭✭Gran Hermano


    She'd a minge like a badly deployed airbag.


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    #585
    PDAhunter
    Registered Users Posts: 30 ✭PDAhunter


    Jaysus der a wind outside dat would blow a traveller of his sister


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    #586
    blackwave
    Registered Users Posts: 819 ✭✭✭blackwave


    She wouldnt get a ride in Tramore


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    #587
    superelliptic
    Registered Users Posts: 395 ✭✭superelliptic


    "I wouldn't touch her with yours".

    -Love that one!


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