'I Wouldnt ride her into battle', 'Her face looks like a bag of bent euros'

kfallon

From the film "I Went Down"

Look at the state of him now, he'd be lucky if some Arab let him finger the arse off his dog....for a fiver!!!

boomkatalog

About saggy tits: their like an orange in a sock.

kfallon

For the unkept 'Lady Garden'

I thought her fanny was a Dubliners Tribute Band

Bobby Baccala

I wouldnt ride her if she came with pedals.

mikemac1

Got a face like a Howth mackeral

Delancey

So bad you wouldn't use her for practice.


Beauty is only skin-deep , in which case she was born inside-out.

marwelie

He used to be schizophrenic but his little voices got fed up and left

Winston has it sorted though.....I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

Bobby Baccala

More men went down on her than on the titanic.

melekalikimaka

he's so unlucky, if he fell into a bag of tits he'd come out sucking his own thumb

phoenix833

She's definitely a two bagger. I wear one as well in case hers falls off.

shaddupayaface

Sweating like a dyslexic kid in a game of countdown

Shelflife

Said to a local publican after he refused to serve a customer,

There are two cu*nts in this town -- and youre both of them !!

little swift

she's like a skateboard,flat and hard to ride.

LiamSevenfold

sancho panza wrote: »

he has a head like a half eaten apple.

Brilliant! Haha

Private Joker

She's like a piebald pony , u wouldn't mind riding her around the estate but u wouldn't bring her into town.

She's had enough pricks to build a hand rail around Dublin

Sweating like fritzel on cribs

I'm that hungry I'd eat the back wheel off a menstrual cycle

My next ride will be like a milk lorry hitting a youghart factory

mikemac1

My fat bird is like a moped, fun to ride but I wouldn't want my friends to know

theteal

She has a face like a camel chewing a wham bar

kfallon

Private Joker wrote: »

Sweating like fritzel on cribs

I'm that hungry I'd eat the back wheel off a menstrual cycle

Sweating like a Fritzel at a family reunion!

So hungry I'd eat the crotch out of a dead leper's jocks

So hungy I'd eat a nun's gee thru a park bench

frag420

She was so ugly even the dog closed his eyes when he humped her leg!!!

She had a face like a carpenters thumb!!

She has a nose like a builders elbow.

She had a fanny like a cave with a swinging monkey in it!!

So hungry I'd eat the plaque of a knackers tooth!!

dcmm

Youre both ends of a bulls's flute:D
The wind from one of her farts would blow a tinker off his wife:rolleyes:

tribalwings

I seen better legs in a snackbox.
That wind would blow a traveler off his sister

Happyman42

'Will you kiss me under the miseltoe'?

'I wouldn't kiss you under an anesthetic!

Skuxx

She's as tight as a nuns cnut!
I wouldnt get up on her to get over her!
Smell off her would knock a tinker off his sister!
Look's like she's been bobbing for apples in a chip pan
She's seen more japs eye than an japanese optician
He's about as useless as tits on a nun
She's a face like a toilet at Oxygen!
I wouldn't trust him as far as I'd piss into the wind

Can't think of anymore right now!

Private Joker

I'm as full as a bingo bus

I'm as sick as a small plane on its way to lourdes

Salty

He's so camp, he'd sh*te tent pegs.

kfallon

Private Joker wrote: »

I'm as full as a bingo bus

Full as a tinker's bra

scary

face like the north end of a south bound badger

Private Joker

She d breast feed a creche with those

event

two ends of the same boll*x

Ruski

"Opening up the window and fúcking the night" is my personal favourite.