'I Wouldnt ride her into battle', 'Her face looks like a bag of bent euros'

Kev_2012

I wouldn't hop a brick off her.

She had a face like a busted Crunchie.

He'd get up on a cold morning.

She'd suck a snooker ball through a length of Wavin.

ShagNastii

I swear he was conceived through anal sex. There is no way being that much of an asshole is natural.

chughes

She's so fat, ridin' her would be like throwing a sausage up O'Connell Street.

Keephercountry

Im so hungry id ate a nuns arse through a convent gate

She had a a set a teeth on er shed ate an apple through a tennis racket/letterbox

She had a face only her mother could love

Im as sick as a small plane to lourdes!!

I seen better legs hangin outa a snackbox

She had more teeth than a ferrari gearbox!!

Hed get up on a scuttery hen that lad!!!

Haha

GiftofGab

A face on her that would stop on invasion (when angry)

mikemac1

I'm so hungry I'd eat a scabby Ethiopian - haven't heard that one since the early nineties.

Keephercountry

She had a head on er shed turn back a tinkers funeral!! Haha

Keephercountry

Shes had more cock that hot dinners!!

Shed take mickey outa boilin water

frag420

She was so ugly that when she threw a boomerang it didnt return!!

mikemac1

Give her a good ridin like Charlie Swan

Lads I was like Stephen Roche last night, just ridin for hours

Keephercountry

Shed suck the chrome off a ball hitch!!

Vicxas

Id eat 3 miles of her ****e to get to her arse!

She got a shockin beatin' of the ugly stick

I woudnt ride you into battle

She could suck a golf ball through a garden hose..


To name a few!

Tazium

If I'd a bag full of willies, I wouldn't give her one.

CiaranMcDCFC

She would eat cock off a conveyor belt!

Cee-Jay-Cee

He/she is that miserable that if he/she dropped 10c it would hit them on the back if the head as they bent down to pick it up.

As stupid as mud.

Ah god love him he went to school on a special bus, he missed it most days and was hit by it several times too.

Macers

She's seen more helmets than Hitler.

_pure_mule_

shes nice from far but far from nice!

7ofBrian

She's a face like a bucket of smashed crabs!

Crooked Jack

Ya couldnt love him in you breast fed him

And that's the craic she said, with one leg up on the dashboard and nothing on but the radio

I also like the terms Flesh Lettuce, Meat Curtains and Axe Wound

PogMoThoin

She's got a fanny like a torn wellie

ilovelamp2000

She's seen more Japs eyes than a Tokyo optician.

Wibbs

If your face was your fortune you'd owe your arse a fiver.

You should learn from your parents mistake and wear a condom.

Duggy747

Those lips would suck the milk out of your tea.

starbelgrade

She speaks eight languages and can't say "no" in any of them.

Wibbs

Go on, please enlighten us with what you know on the subject, we've all got 10 seconds to spare. I've used that one before.

Or once while on the piss, this very irritating woman, with a large and over reaching sense of her own beauty and self importance asked me at the end of the evening; "oh I suppose you want my phone number now" I replied, "It's OK I saw it on the wall in the gents earlier"

neil_hosey

if id a garden full of mickeys, i wouldnt let her look over the wall..

Elessar

She's got a face that would turn a funeral down a side street.

Plazaman

He's so unlucky...

....if he was an albino, he'd have black dandruff
....if he had ducks, they'd drown


She was only a wrestlers daughter, but ya shoulda seen her box.

gman2k

She has a box like a ripped out fireplace.

She doesn't have a face, she has two arses.

Zebra3

She's bet down with hammers.