'I Wouldnt ride her into battle', 'Her face looks like a bag of bent euros'

srm23

She has a face like a rusty bag of hammers

LiamSevenfold

Sir Gallagher wrote: »

I'm sweating like a traveller doing maths.

Hilarious man hah

lotsofthegreen

She's got more chins than a chinese phonebook.....

Peetrik

Tits like two socks full of change taped to her chest

mikemac1

She was so ugly that when she was a kid they had to tie meat to her ankles so the dog would play with her....

That wan, she`s had more pricks than a hedgehog

A rides is a ride, a jokes is a joke but no ride is no joke!

spacecookie555

Youve a head for modelling balaclavas

kfallon

Wouldn't get up on her to hang wallpaper!

If I had a garden full of mickeys I wouldn't even leave her look over the back wall

She's seen more German helmets that Hitler/more Japs eyes than Pearl Harbour/more cockends than weekends

brandon_flowers

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

i left her with a fanny like a painters radio

Its "I left her with a face like a painters radio"

"I left her with an arse like the flag of Japan"

vicwatson

Sweating like a catholic priest at a communion

Randy Anders

She'd lie in nettles for it

hairyprincess

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits and may your arms be too short to scratch.

He's got a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

He's got a head on him like a nail bar.

You're as thick as two short planks.

He's so tight he'd peel an orange in his pocket.

mikemac1

She didn't get those knees from kneeling to pray

LiamSevenfold

Cheers everyone, Im glad to know there are still people out there that have a good sense of humour.. Keep posting

admiralofthefleet

kfallon wrote: »

Wouldn't get up on her to hang wallpaper!

If I had a garden full of mickeys I wouldn't even leave her look over the back wall

She's seen more German helmets that Hitler/more Japs eyes than Pearl Harbour/more cockends than weekends

if i had 13 mickeys i wouldnt give her the unlucky one

Sir Gallagher

Irishwomen have a dispensation from the pope to wear the thick ends of their legs downwards.

FlipperThePriest

If I had a garden full of mickeys I wouldn't give her a look over the back wall.

gary s

You have a face on you their like a bats fanny.


If I had a box of flutes I wouldn give her one of them

builttospill

She's that ugly that whenever she cries, the tears run down the back of her head.

Pyongyang

Face like a bag of lego.

Face like a bucket of smashed crabs.

Randy Anders

I wouldn't even poke her on facebook

My personal favourite

She has a head like a chewed up toffo.

cournioni

She has a face on her like a chimps hole.

Dr Turk Turkelton

He was sweating like a paedophile in a playground...

BIG BAD JOHN

I'll spit in your eye and charge you for an eyewash.

He's about as useful as a one legged man in a penalty shoot-out.

You can't win a farting competition with a skunk.

Rasheed

Fanny like a wizards sleeve.

That lads such a virgin, if he sees a fanny, he'd put a plaster on it.

She's been fingered more times than a tub of Vaseline.

boomkatalog

I wouldn't ride her if she had pedals.

She has all the grace and elegance of a pregnant yak (my father's finest)

Lie down, I think I love you.

FlipperThePriest

You've a face on ya like a pair of tits.....

...well at least that's one pair between us!

LiamSevenfold

whoopsadaisydoodles wrote: »

My personal favourite

She has a head like a chewed up toffo.

Never fails to make me laugh that one haha

darced

This post has been deleted.

Brilliant thread OP, even if it was done before, been cracking up here!