'I Wouldnt ride her into battle', 'Her face looks like a bag of bent euros'

Sir Gallagher · 17-06-2012 10:54PM

Said about anybody with a huge head.

What would you rather? A million quid or her head full of pound coins.

17-06-2012 10:54PM

You were only born cos your da came on his shoe and kicked your ma in the fanny

brummytom · 17-06-2012 10:55PM

I'm sweating like a pregnant nun.

Sweating like a pig in a gang bang.

BIG BAD JOHN · 17-06-2012 10:56PM

Her backside looks like it's chewing caramels.

Varied · 17-06-2012 10:57PM

She's had more cock than a chicken coop.

Randy Anders · 17-06-2012 10:57PM

A bigger cunt, you couldn't find

saintsaltynuts · 17-06-2012 10:59PM

She's a face like a smell a gas.

Varied · 17-06-2012 10:59PM

saintsaltynuts wrote: »

She's a face like a smell a gas.

Italian insults are great.

Randy Anders · 17-06-2012 11:00PM

She has the smelliest beaver in the land

spacecookie555 · 17-06-2012 11:01PM

Ya hava face for the radio

cocalolaman · 17-06-2012 11:01PM

If your were twice as good at life, you'd still be a failure.

Antisocialiser · 17-06-2012 11:02PM

Your face looks like someone tried to put out a forest fire with a screwdriver.

LiamSevenfold · 17-06-2012 11:03PM

Varied wrote: »

She's had more cock than a chicken coop.

Good one haha

mikemac1 · 17-06-2012 11:05PM

She could suck a sliotar up the garden hose

Those boys from the council are breast feeding their shovels again - when you see the local authority boyos hanging around doing nothing and leaning on their shovels

scotchy · 17-06-2012 11:05PM

Tits like a Spaniels ears.

A Gee like a wizards sleeve.

.

GaryIrv93 · 17-06-2012 11:06PM

She had a face like a can of dog food

spacecookie555 · 17-06-2012 11:08PM

She'd b ona cock like a fly ta **** dat one

Fromthetrees · 17-06-2012 11:08PM

“My dear, in the morning I will be sober, but you will still be ugly.”
― Winston

Or

You're such a silly billy flower. :eek: Use this one sparingly

Smeggy · 17-06-2012 11:10PM

If brains were taxed you'd be due a refund!

kfallon · 17-06-2012 11:11PM

Deleted User wrote: »

You were only born cos your da came on his shoe and kicked your ma in the fanny

LOL!!

You don't have a birth cert, you have an apology letter from Durex!

Someone gave her a leg up out of the abortion bucket :eek:

kfallon · 17-06-2012 11:11PM

Smeggy wrote: »

If brains were taxed you'd be due a refund!

If brains were dynamite you wouldn't have enough to blow your fooking hat off

sancho panza · 17-06-2012 11:12PM

he has a head like a half eaten apple.

kfallon · 17-06-2012 11:13PM

scotchy wrote: »

A Gee like a wizards sleeve.

.

It'd be like a lost pen in the Albert Hall

El_Dangeroso · 17-06-2012 11:13PM

I always enjoy Arabic insults:
Elif air ab tizak - A thousand dicks in your ass.

Then again you can't beat a bit of highbrow either:

Once at a social gathering, Gladstone said to Disraeli, 'I predict, Sir, that you will die either by hanging or of some vile disease'. Disraeli replied, 'That all depends, sir, upon whether I embrace your principles or your mistress.'