The try harder if ye want a second joke thread thread.

ringadingding wrote: »

Whats 6" long and wont be sucked on this valentines?


Whitneys crack pipe

Whats Black and cant get out of the bath ?


A spider ............ye racist bastards

I've dedicated my life to getting under age prostitutes off the streets.

For an hour or so usually.

What's 6 inches long and didn't get sucked on valentines day?

Whitney Houston's crack pipe

summerskin wrote: »

Wow, someone's discovered Sickipedia on twitter from the looks of it.....

Meh, I think that's just another facebook one... :rolleyes:

Its bad but still makes me snigger!

Two kids got arrested by the gaurds, one got arrested for drinking battery accid and the other for eating fireworks....One was charged, and the other got let off!!

Curly Judge wrote: »

My wife does bird impressions.
She watches me like a hawk.

Mine likes to roleplay.
She dresses up as herself and then acts like a total bitch.

Limerick guy goes to Amsterdam & meets a hooker! He asks how much? She says €100 an hour. He asks do u do it limerick style? She says NO. He says I'll give u €200, she says NO. He says Ok then €500 2 do it limerick style, i've bein in the business 10yrs & been asked 2 do everythin but never limerick style she says, den agrees. After makin passionate love she says, that was da best sex ever but wats the limerick style. He replies Can I give u dat money next week.

A talent agent is sitting in his office. A family walks in: Man woman, their two kids, and their little dog. The agent asks: "What kind of an act do you do?"

The father starts fucking his wife, the wife starts jerking off the son, the son starts going down on the sister, the sister starts fingering the dog's asshole. Then the son starts blowing his father.

The daughter starts licking out the father's asshole. Then the father shits on the floor, the mother shits on the floor. The dog pisses and shits on the floor. They all jump down into the shit and piss and cum and they start fucking and sucking each other, and then they take a bow.

And the talent agent says "Well, that's an interesting act. What do you call yourselves?"

And they say "The aristocrats!"

Sam Vimes wrote: »

A talent agent is sitting in his office. A family walks in: Man woman, their two kids, and their little dog. The agent asks: "What kind of an act do you do?"

The father starts fucking his wife, the wife starts jerking off the son, the son starts going down on the sister, the sister starts fingering the dog's asshole. Then the son starts blowing his father.

The daughter starts licking out the father's asshole. Then the father shits on the floor, the mother shits on the floor. The dog pisses and shits on the floor. They all jump down into the shit and piss and cum and they start fucking and sucking each other, and then they take a bow.

And the talent agent says "Well, that's an interesting act. What do you call yourselves?"

And they say "The aristocrats!"

Nicely done. That your own version of it?

An old Kerryman takes a trip to Dublin to watch his county win it's umpteenth All Ireland.
Before catching his train home he makes his way into a city center pub and eventually pushes his way to the counter.
Catching the very busy young barman's eye he orders a "1914 pint".
Being very busy, but not wanting to appear ignorant, the barman asks his boss, "There's an old redneck at the counter looking for a 1914 pint, what'll I do"?
"Give him an ordinary pint and tell him it's a 1914 pint. Sure how's he going to know the difference" his boss advises.
Feeling very pleased with himself the barman hops up the pint to the Kerryman with a great flourish and shouts loudly, "There you Sir, one 1914 pint!
The Kerryman pushes two old pennies across the counter saying, "God bless you son, I didn't think there was any of them left"

I got sacked from my job as a bingo caller the other day
Apparently, 'A meal for two with a terrible view'

Isn't the best way to announce number 69