The try harder if ye want a second joke thread thread.

puzzle factory

not even gavin from autoglass can fix whitney hustons crack problem.

Daniel S

puzzle factory wrote: »

not even gavin from autoglass can fix whitney hustons crack problem.

You've stooped as low as Facebook "likes" to get bad jokes?


Humanity's screwed... :pac:

longshanks

A German guy approaches one of the ladies of the night.

'I vish to buy ze sex vit shoo.'

'OK,' says the girl, 'I'll charge £50 an hour.'

'..ist gootte, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky, ja?'

'No problem,' she replies cautiously, 'I can do a little kinky.'

So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller.

'I vant zat you tie ze springs to each of your Hans und knees.'

The girl finds this most odd, but complies, fastening the springs as he had said, to her hands and knees..

'Now you vill get ont your Hans und knees.'

She duly does this, balancing precariously on the springs.

'You vill please to blow zis kwacker as I maken ze love to you.'

She finds it odd, but figures it's harmless (and after all, the guy is paying.)

She finds the sex is fantastic, as she is bounced all over the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duck caller.

Her climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced and it is several minutes before she has enough breath to say,

Wow!!! That was totally amazing, what do you call that position ?'


'Ah,' says the German . . .'zat is ze....



Four-sprung Duck technique!!

The Master.

Twi Irish are walking down the street and one irish says i made an new invention....a inflatible dartboard and the other irish says i made a invention too.... a chocolate teapot or fireguard lol

longshanks

In the latest twist to the phone hacking scandal Rupert Murdoch is said to be saddened and deeply touched by the messages from family and friends left on Whitney Houstons phone.

sReq | uTeK

longshanks wrote: »

A German guy approaches one of the ladies of the night.

'I vish to buy ze sex vit shoo.'

'OK,' says the girl, 'I'll charge £50 an hour.'

'..ist gootte, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky, ja?'

'No problem,' she replies cautiously, 'I can do a little kinky.'

So off they go to the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller.

'I vant zat you tie ze springs to each of your Hans und knees.'

The girl finds this most odd, but complies, fastening the springs as he had said, to her hands and knees..

'Now you vill get ont your Hans und knees.'

She duly does this, balancing precariously on the springs.

'You vill please to blow zis kwacker as I maken ze love to you.'

She finds it odd, but figures it's harmless (and after all, the guy is paying.)

She finds the sex is fantastic, as she is bounced all over the room by the energetic German, all the time honking on the duck caller.

Her climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced and it is several minutes before she has enough breath to say,

Wow!!! That was totally amazing, what do you call that position ?'


'Ah,' says the German . . .'zat is ze....



Four-sprung Duck technique!!

Don't get it

Ledger

sReq | uTeK wrote: »

Don't get it

Audi

billymitchell

The Master. wrote: »

Twi Irish are walking down the street and one irish says i made an new invention....a inflatible dartboard and the other irish says i made a invention too.... a chocolate teapot or fireguard lol

You can do better Robbie

DoubleD

Whats green and slimy and smells of bacon?

Kermit the frogs finger

ringadingding

Whats 6" long and wont be sucked on this valentines?


Whitneys crack pipe

ringadingding

ringadingding wrote: »

Whats 6" long and wont be sucked on this valentines?


Whitneys crack pipe

Whats Black and cant get out of the bath ?


A spider ............ye racist bastards

Major Lovechild

After my father had a stroke we covered him in vaseline.

He went downhill very quickly after that

Capt'n Midnight

The Master. wrote: »

and the other irish says i made a invention too.... a chocolate teapot

http://www.thenakedscientists.com/HTML/content/kitchenscience/exp/how-useless-is-a-chocolate-teapot/

The tea was slightly unusual and sweet, but not unpleasant.

niallo27

My wife just called me.She said, "Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentines Day, they are absolutely gorgeous.

I said, "That's probably why they've received flowers then."

niallo27

I've dedicated my life to getting under age prostitutes off the streets.

For an hour or so usually.

niallo27

'It's not right, but it's okay'...sings Whitney Houston's coroner as he slowly unbuckles his belt.

tiernanobrien

What's 6 inches long and didn't get sucked on valentines day?

Whitney Houston's crack pipe

summerskin

Wow, someone's discovered Sickipedia on twitter from the looks of it.....

Daniel S

summerskin wrote: »

Wow, someone's discovered Sickipedia on twitter from the looks of it.....

Meh, I think that's just another facebook one... :rolleyes:

Galway K9

Why did the mushroom go to the night club?
He was a Fun-guy!

Why wasnt he allowed in?
Theres wasnt much-room!:D

44leto

Galway K9 wrote: »

Why did the mushroom go to the night club?
He was a Fun-guy!

Why wasnt he allowed in?
Theres wasnt much-room!:D

Groan
Just grab your jacket and go.:)

cruiser178

Galway K9 wrote: »

Why did the mushroom go to the night club?
He was a Fun-guy!

Why wasnt he allowed in?
Theres wasnt much-room!:D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WppV_l8gaYw

Galway K9

Its bad but still makes me snigger!

Two kids got arrested by the gaurds, one got arrested for drinking battery accid and the other for eating fireworks....One was charged, and the other got let off!!

Curly Judge

My wife does bird impressions.
She watches me like a hawk.

Coriolanus

Curly Judge wrote: »

My wife does bird impressions.
She watches me like a hawk.

Mine likes to roleplay.
She dresses up as herself and then acts like a total bitch.

Curly Judge

While we're on the subject of fowl....
This guy walks into a theatrical agent looking for a job.
The agent asks him what he specializes in.
The man says that he does bird impressions.
"Bird impressions, bloody bird impressions", the agent roars.
"I'm up to here with bird impressions, now get out"
"Feck you anyway",says the man,and flies out the window.

hefferboi

Limerick guy goes to Amsterdam & meets a hooker! He asks how much? She says €100 an hour. He asks do u do it limerick style? She says NO. He says I'll give u €200, she says NO. He says Ok then €500 2 do it limerick style, i've bein in the business 10yrs & been asked 2 do everythin but never limerick style she says, den agrees. After makin passionate love she says, that was da best sex ever but wats the limerick style. He replies Can I give u dat money next week.

token101

What has four legs and more money than Rangers?
Harry Redknapp's dog

Sam Vimes

A talent agent is sitting in his office. A family walks in: Man woman, their two kids, and their little dog. The agent asks: "What kind of an act do you do?"

The father starts fucking his wife, the wife starts jerking off the son, the son starts going down on the sister, the sister starts fingering the dog's asshole. Then the son starts blowing his father.

The daughter starts licking out the father's asshole. Then the father shits on the floor, the mother shits on the floor. The dog pisses and shits on the floor. They all jump down into the shit and piss and cum and they start fucking and sucking each other, and then they take a bow.

And the talent agent says "Well, that's an interesting act. What do you call yourselves?"

And they say "The aristocrats!"

Ledger

What does Hans Solo's girlfriend sing in bed?

I'm Ridin' Solo, Ridin' Solo, Soooolooooooo!

will I get my coat?