Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

amacachi · 25-09-2011 06:07PM

"Those Russian dolls are so full of themselves."

I thought it was great. :pac:

Fluorescence · 25-09-2011 06:20PM

Shocking im not goin ou toni!! bu i do deserve a medal for it... Good times at the cinema bu im full of dominos, macyD's, popcorn etc ughhh! ♥

Um, congratulations? Even worse was the guy who posted underneath (her spelling annoyed me, but this comment even more so):

Dude wrote:

Learn to spell dumbass!!!

To which she replied:

OP wrote:

spell wa??

Canard · 25-09-2011 07:07PM

confession:)
i hate wen someone slags u & den u slag them back and they give u the evil look & ur like u started it>:(

She's also posted that PASTE THIS AND FACEBOOK WILL REMAIN FREE thing like 5 times, and every time I hide her on my news feed it seems to unhide her.

nibtrix · 25-09-2011 10:29PM

*** likes "Seeing your ex with an ugly cunt"

and 2 hours later -
*** "Right now I am very happy with my life, it dosen't bother me who is around, who is watching and who is so small minded and unhappy with their own lives that they feel the need to comment on mine.... some very sad people out there but hopefully they will be happy some day. some people just need to grow the **** up!!!!"

I think it was the 2 replies to the second status that made it so delicious:

Comment 1: "Your a big grwon up girl *** with 3 lovely children and as long as you can go to bed at the end of the day and say you have not intentionally hurt anyone you have had a good day so do the hell what you like and enjoy it.xxx"
Comment 2: *** sum ppl are obviously so thick dey really believe people are even remotely interested in der pathetic lives!!!! Xxx"

Laura_lolly87 · 25-09-2011 11:02PM

Savage Tyrant wrote: »

This was posted by a girl I know with a six week old baby...

Do I work? Uhhh yes, I am a Mom! That makes me an alarm clock, a cook, a maid, a waitress, a teacher, a nurse, a handyman, a security officer, a photographer, a counselor, a chauffeur, an event planner, a personal assistant, an ATM, & a comforter. I don't get holidays, sick pay or days off. I work through the DAY & NIGHT. I am on call at ALL hours the rest of my life. Re-post if you are a PROUD MOMMY ♥

CÛNT!

I know someone who put that up as her status but she was talking about her puppy

Chris P. Bacon · 25-09-2011 11:08PM

Laura_lolly87 wrote: »

I know someone who put that up as her status but she was talking about her puppy

A girl i work with who is my friend on fb has a page set up for her dog,and refers to the dog as her child and her and her boyfriend as mam & dad to the dog,she is 24 by the way

Shiner11 · 26-09-2011 12:10PM

I was living with 3 girls for two weeks in August. Everyday after work they would sit down in the living room and spend the next few hours on facebook on their laptops. I just sat there watching TV and very little conversation would happen.

I didn't have a laptop so I would check my facebook in the morning before work. They would have ridiculously long and stupid conversations on facebook and I'm sitting there thinkin, FFS!! Have a real conversation!! Ye're sitting in the same room!!! Get off Facebook!!

az2wp0sye65487 · 26-09-2011 01:01PM

barone wrote: »

'its vino time'

usually posted by a recently single girl/woman on a weeknight

and followed by, 'who's with me girlies'?

Nobody - that's why you're drinking alone on a week night in the first place! :pac:

Gun_Slinger · 26-09-2011 01:12PM

Savage Tyrant wrote: »

Do I work? Uhhh yes, I am a Mom! That makes me an alarm clock, a cook, a maid, a waitress, a teacher, a nurse, a handyman, a security officer, a photographer, a counselor, a chauffeur, an event planner, a personal assistant, an ATM, & a comforter. I don't get holidays, sick pay or days off. I work through the DAY & NIGHT. I am on call at ALL hours the rest of my life. Re-post if you are a PROUD MOMMY ♥

Reminds me of this from Chris Rock (if youre easily offended dont watch, contains Chris saying the N word once or twice)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LaPHPQt91w8

westies4ever · 26-09-2011 01:24PM

"Dirty dishes prove i feed my children, messy floors prove that I let my children have fun, piles & piles of clothes prove I keep my children in clean clothes & a messy bathroom proves that I bath them! So next time you walk into my house and see a mess, think twice before you judge!!! Keep this going if you're a parent"

Seen this one floating around a few statuses this morning - just piss off please!!!!!!!

westies4ever · 26-09-2011 01:26PM

"time to catch some zzzs laters facebookers"

and another - at 3.40am ffs!

westies4ever · 26-09-2011 01:27PM

and finally !

"I'm not hot or gorgeous. I don't have an amazing figure or a flat stomach. I'm far from being considered a model, but I'm ME. I eat food, have curves, love my PJ's, and I go without make up. I'm random and crazy, I don't pretend to be someone I'm not. I am who I am, You can love me or not, I won't change!!! And if I love you, I do it with all my heart. I make no apologies for the way I am. Ladies put this on your status if your proud of who you are"

deathrider · 26-09-2011 01:29PM

westies4ever wrote: »

and finally !

"I'm not hot or gorgeous. I don't have an amazing figure or a flat stomach. I'm far from being considered a model, but I'm ME. I eat food, have curves, love my PJ's, and I go without make up. I'm random and crazy, I don't pretend to be someone I'm not. I am who I am, You can love me or not, I won't change!!! And if I love you, I do it with all my heart. I make no apologies for the way I am. Ladies put this on your status if your proud of who you are"

Why do "ladies" always post such copy and paste bullsh1t?

garysully1986 · 26-09-2011 01:30PM

I Hate stupid Statuses like Facebook gold is being introduced next week, its going to be a subscription that you have to pay for but if you post this status it will stay free.

Or My Feckin Family in America who like to put up feckin Quotes from the bible!!! Nobody gives a sh*t that The lord helped u make the feckin beds!

Stoopid Americans

westies4ever · 26-09-2011 01:32PM

deathrider wrote: »

Why do "ladies" always post such copy and paste bullsh1t?

i really dont know - i am lady btw - these stupid ones about the bra colours etc etc really piss me off as well!

sunflower27 · 26-09-2011 01:36PM

westies4ever wrote: »

and finally !

"I'm not hot or gorgeous. I don't have an amazing figure or a flat stomach. I'm far from being considered a model, but I'm ME. I eat food, have curves, love my PJ's, and I go without make up. I'm random and crazy, I don't pretend to be someone I'm not. I am who I am, You can love me or not, I won't change!!! And if I love you, I do it with all my heart. I make no apologies for the way I am. Ladies put this on your status if your proud of who you are"

God, that is so cringe-worthy.

If you are going to post something as basic and banal as that, you'd think she'd be able to do it herself.... an original.

deathrider · 26-09-2011 01:36PM

westies4ever wrote: »

i really dont know - i am lady btw - these stupid ones about the bra colours etc etc really piss me off as well!

It's not all ladies (as you're mentioned yourself), but the majority of them seem to do this all the time. So you're a girl, a mother, not a supermodel, sometimes you don't wear make-up or clean your house, blah, blah, blah... Why do you need to keep telling us? Chances are we can tell most of that from looking at your profile pic anyways.

onlyrocknroll · 26-09-2011 01:52PM

One in a million status updates are good, but I saw two good ones today.

"I swear, if Facebook changes their layout one more time, I'm going to post a status update about it and then use their site as much as always."

"Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands, they're now called the Islands"

Twee. · 26-09-2011 01:52PM

westies4ever wrote: »

and finally !

"I'm not hot or gorgeous. I don't have an amazing figure or a flat stomach. I'm far from being considered a model, but I'm ME. I eat food, have curves, love my PJ's, and I go without make up. I'm random and crazy, I don't pretend to be someone I'm not. I am who I am, You can love me or not, I won't change!!! And if I love you, I do it with all my heart. I make no apologies for the way I am. Ladies put this on your status if your proud of who you are"

And it's always the ugly ones :pac:

But seriously, that **** just pisses me off no end. Great, you're proud of who are. Good for you. Now, let's get on with life.

westies4ever · 26-09-2011 01:54PM

Twee. wrote: »

And it's always the ugly ones :pac:

you have no idea!!!

Reamer Fanny · 26-09-2011 01:59PM

I wish they would introduce a dislike button instead of only having the option to 'thumbs up' every post, I'd use it all day long on those stupid stupid copy & paste posts arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh! :mad: :mad: :mad:

westies4ever · 26-09-2011 02:05PM

just saw this one!

On September 31st, 2011 Facebook will start charging you for your account. To avoid this you MUST get NAKED, use a PERMANENT marker pen and write on your forehead the word S-U-C-K-E-R and then stand on your dining room table and do the Macarena, all the while singing ”I Will Survive”. After filming and posting it to your Facebook wall and YouTube, then, and only then, will Mark Zuckerberg come down your chimney to tell you that your account will stay free. Pass it on… it must be true because someone on Facebook I hardly know told me

Fluorescence · 26-09-2011 02:22PM

On September 31st, 2011 Facebook will start charging you for your account. To avoid this, you MUST get NAKED, stand on your dining room table and do the Macarena, all the while singing ”I Will Survive”. After filming and posting it to your Facebook wall and YouTube, then, and only then, will Mark Zuckerberg come down your chimney to tell you that your account will stay free. Pass it on, it must be true because someone on Facebook I hardly know told me

I like it :pac:

EDIT: Doh! Didn't notice the post before mine

Borat_Sagdiyev · 26-09-2011 02:32PM

It always amazes me how seriously people take facebook. "If it's on facebook, it must be true".

I signed up with ALL fake details, and when my "birthday" rolls around ( 4 months after my real birthday ) I get all these "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!" posts on my wall.

It's a good way of realising who are real mates.

BBDBB · 26-09-2011 02:34PM

Borat_Sagdiyev wrote: »

It always amazes me how seriously people take facebook. "If it's on facebook, it must be true".

I signed up with ALL fake details, and when my "birthday" rolls around ( 4 months after my real birthday ) I get all these "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!" posts on my wall.

It's a good way of realising who are real mates.

Happy Birthday Borat you old rogue

have a good one mate

cheers

The King of Moo · 26-09-2011 03:08PM

From one person who constantly posts crap, and it's never anything original, always cut and paste nonsense..

(O)Y(O) Ooppppsss, got 2 close 2 the screen when I was cleaning it..;-D..! LOL

I may not be your kind of beautiful;-).But I'm my kind of beautiful and Thats all that really matters..♥

No it's not.

When a girl...
Accepts Your Friend Request It Means She
Accepted Your “Friendship” Not Your
“Proposal”,
When A Girl Sends You A Friend Request It
Means She Wants To Be Your Friend Not Your
Girlfriend,
When She Tag You It Means She Wants To
Share Her Thoughts With You And Not That
She’s Lost In Your Thoughts,
When She Comments On Your Status It Meams
She’s Just Being Social And Not Flirting,
When She Like Your Comment It Means She
Like Your Comment Not You

What men propose to a woman by sending her a friend request on facebook!?

deathrider · 26-09-2011 03:22PM

The King of Moo wrote: »

What men propose to a woman by sending her a friend request on facebook!?

That's how I got all my wives...

SheFiend · 26-09-2011 05:49PM

I came straight to Boards having seen this load of plop.

"GET YOUR TISSUES OUT THIS IS SO SAD ... I was walking around in a supermarket when i saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back, the boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'' The little boy turned to the old woman next to him, ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' She replied, ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. 'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.' I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.' His eyes were so sad while saying this, 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said, 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.' Then he showed me a very nice photo of himself. He was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.' 'I love my mommy and I wish she didn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.' Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll!'' OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said, 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!' Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!'' 'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' 'My mommy loves white roses.' A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state of mind from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine, and in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: (1) Copy & Paste this on your wall (2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart"

Eh.... ???

mfceiling · 26-09-2011 06:10PM

SheFiend wrote: »

I came straight to Boards having seen this load of plop.

"GET YOUR TISSUES OUT THIS IS SO SAD ... I was walking around in a supermarket when i saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back, the boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'' The little boy turned to the old woman next to him, ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' She replied, ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. 'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.' I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.' His eyes were so sad while saying this, 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said, 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.' Then he showed me a very nice photo of himself. He was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.' 'I love my mommy and I wish she didn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.' Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll!'' OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said, 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!' Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!'' 'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' 'My mommy loves white roses.' A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state of mind from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine, and in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: (1) Copy & Paste this on your wall (2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart"

Eh.... ???

The amount of gimpy headed, dopey f*cksticks who posted that dung is unreal.
I'd love a virtual fist which would hop out of their screen and punch them smack bang between the eyes for posting sh*te like this...

ColeTrain · 26-09-2011 06:15PM

SheFiend wrote: »

I came straight to Boards having seen this load of plop.

"GET YOUR TISSUES OUT THIS IS SO SAD ... I was walking around in a supermarket when i saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back, the boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'' The little boy turned to the old woman next to him, ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' She replied, ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. 'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.' I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.' His eyes were so sad while saying this, 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said, 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.' Then he showed me a very nice photo of himself. He was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.' 'I love my mommy and I wish she didn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.' Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll!'' OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said, 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!' Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!'' 'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' 'My mommy loves white roses.' A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state of mind from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine, and in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: (1) Copy & Paste this on your wall (2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart"

Eh.... ???

The Granny is a proper cnut for not buying the doll for him, she left him on his own in a shopping centre to probably go and spend her cash on a bottle of Powers and a pack of major..