Those 'Oh God, I'm an Idiot' moments.

brummytom · 13-04-2010 02:55PM #1

You know the ones I mean, where you end up thinking "I can't believe I've just done that".

What ones of your own can you remember?

Obviously I have to add my own:

Yesterday, I was dragged down to Bristol by my mate to audition for an E4 show, 'Skins'. After a few hours travelling (with an annoying delay); we got down to Bristol station.

Now we knew what bus to get, we just didn't know where to get it from. We walked left out of the station towards the main road and looked at a few of the bus stops. None of them, however, had the number bus that we needed.

So we cross the road to the other side to see if it's there. Nope. Not there. But there was a board with a map of all the bus stops in the area and what buses stopped there. Finally, we found the one we needed. We were on Temple Gate Road, Near Clarence Rd and needed to get to Approach Rd.

We looked everywhere for this road, but just couldn't find it. Eventually, we ended up about a mile away at a petrol station. "Ask in here where it is, he'll know". Going up to the counter, we asked the man behind where this road was. "Approach Rd? I'll have a look" he said, in a thick farmer accent.

He spent 10 minutes scouring the A-Z, but alas, had no look. It wasn't there.
"Where do you need to get to?" he asked.

"Bristol Grammar School, I think it's a fair way from here" my mate replied.
He told us that further down the road, opposite the train station was a row of bus stops that would have our bus on. We knew there wasn't, because we'd already been there, but we said thank you and left.

We got back to where we started at the map. "I don't get where this Approach Road is" I said. I think at that point, both my mate and I realised we'd been completely stupid. "It's not a road name, it's an instruction isn't it?" We eventually found the bus stop - it was within yards of the train station, and we'd completely walked past it.

Anyway, that was a long story for nothing. I'm sure you can do better

xzanti · 13-04-2010 02:57PM

I once called my boyfriend in a panic, pulled over on the hard shoulder of the M50 convinced my car was on fire...

Turns out it was just steam rising off the bonet from the rain..

Doh

enda1 · 13-04-2010 03:00PM

tl:dr?

Instruction: "Press Any Key"

Tom: "Where's the Any Key???"

The Saint · 13-04-2010 03:01PM

brummytom wrote: »

You know the ones I mean, where you end up thinking "I can't believe I've just done that".

What ones of your own can you remember?

Obviously I have to add my own:

Yesterday, I was dragged down to Bristol by my mate to audition for an E4 show, 'Skins'. After a few hours travelling (with an annoying delay); we got down to Bristol station.

Blah Blah Blah........

No one cares about your little getting lost story. Tell us if you got the part? Did you make an arse of yourself during the auditions? Did you have to finger a girl in front of the judges (I know what sort of a depraved dirty show that 'Skins' is)?

Corruptedmorals · 13-04-2010 03:03PM

The most recent one would have to be while on the tills in work, shouting at the queue 'do you have a clubcard?' instead of 'next please'. Oh god the embarrassment, the queue was really long and there was loads of people and managers on tills ughh..

Whispered · 13-04-2010 03:03PM

When my OH joined boards he wanted to know who sticky was and why he was posting everywhere. :rolleyes::o

Sanjuro · 13-04-2010 03:04PM

Was chopping an onion on Friday. Friend tripped up in front of me. I laughed, then sliced open my thumb. It bled for 25 minutes.

we'llallhavetea_old · 13-04-2010 03:07PM

well i kinda twigged where that story was going when i read "approach road"

i was driving to work one night and realised the boot was open, pulled in, kinda scared, very dark etc. so i jumped out slammed the boot shut and leapt back into the car, trapped my hair in the door (fairly close to the root) and tore off like a fcuking maniac with my head jammed against the window.

it took me a minute to compose myself and unleash the hair...

gaz wac · 13-04-2010 03:17PM

I was telling people in work this morning about the top 5 Youtube clips that were shown on Rudetube last night;

" great clip of a bloke who lost his arm to a tiger" !!

" no way,what the name of the site"

"Redtube" :eek:

totally sent them to the wrong site

*

* btw i dont look at redtube, it was for a college project !

Fago! · 13-04-2010 03:19PM

I made a bowl of cheerios and when I sat down on the couch, realised I made them in a cup.

Couple of weeks ago I tried to thank a post but couldn't see the button. I was trying to figure out why I couldn't thank that post, then realised that I had posted it 5 minutes before.

I intended on walking to town (I live in Pearse Street) but for some reason in my daydreaming state, I walked the opposite way from town. An hour after walking, I kinda woke up from my daydream and ended up in Dun Laoghaire.

An hour into playing GTA 4 I realise I was originally meant to put in a Metallica DVD, not a game.

13-04-2010 03:24PM

I made a cup of tea, then put the teabag in the sink and the spoon in the bin. D'oh!

admiralofthefleet · 13-04-2010 03:25PM

brummytom wrote: »

You know the ones I mean, where you end up thinking "I can't believe I've just done that".

What ones of your own can you remember?

Obviously I have to add my own:

Yesterday, I was dragged down to Bristol by my mate to audition for an E4 show, 'Skins'. After a few hours travelling (with an annoying delay); we got down to Bristol station.

Now we knew what bus to get, we just didn't know where to get it from. We walked left out of the station towards the main road and looked at a few of the bus stops. None of them, however, had the number bus that we needed.

So we cross the road to the other side to see if it's there. Nope. Not there. But there was a board with a map of all the bus stops in the area and what buses stopped there. Finally, we found the one we needed. We were on Temple Gate Road, Near Clarence Rd and needed to get to Approach Rd.

We looked everywhere for this road, but just couldn't find it. Eventually, we ended up about a mile away at a petrol station. "Ask in here where it is, he'll know". Going up to the counter, we asked the man behind where this road was. "Approach Rd? I'll have a look" he said, in a thick farmer accent.

He spent 10 minutes scouring the A-Z, but alas, had no look. It wasn't there.
"Where do you need to get to?" he asked.

"Bristol Grammar School, I think it's a fair way from here" my mate replied.
He told us that further down the road, opposite the train station was a row of bus stops that would have our bus on. We knew there wasn't, because we'd already been there, but we said thank you and left.

We got back to where we started at the map. "I don't get where this Approach Road is" I said. I think at that point, both my mate and I realised we'd been completely stupid. "It's not a road name, it's an instruction isn't it?" We eventually found the bus stop - it was within yards of the train station, and we'd completely walked past it.

Anyway, that was a long story for nothing. I'm sure you can do better

did you get a ride off effy?

karlm37 · 13-04-2010 03:28PM

Don't know how many times I've been having a smoke, my phone rings, I take the phone outta my pocket, put the smoke in my ear and say 'Hello'!!:o

bonerm · 13-04-2010 03:28PM

Fago! wrote: »

I made a bowl of cheerios and when I sat down on the couch, realised I made them in a cup.

Couple of weeks ago I tried to thank a post but couldn't see the button. I was trying to figure out why I couldn't thank that post, then realised that I had posted it 5 minutes before.

I intended on walking to town (I live in Pearse Street) but for some reason in my daydreaming state, I walked the opposite way from town. An hour after walking, I kinda woke up from my daydream and ended up in Dun Laoghaire.

An hour into playing GTA 4 I realise I was originally meant to put in a Metallica DVD, not a game.

I'm pretty sure you qualify as a danger to yourself ... and possibly society.

ribbongirl · 13-04-2010 03:30PM

Donated a pair of curtains to the homeless!

......not as bad as my friend giving money to a homeless person and saying "safe home."

Fago! · 13-04-2010 03:31PM

bonerm wrote: »

I'm pretty sure you qualify as a danger to yourself ... and possibly society.

Don't I know it. :pac:

GavRedKing · 13-04-2010 03:35PM

Woke up one night in December at about 3:10 AM and mis-read my phone and though it said 8:10 AM, was getting dressed and about to head off downstairs to head to work when my sister informed me what time it was.

.

/ Facepalm

NothingMan · 13-04-2010 03:42PM

Fago! wrote: »

I intended on walking to town (I live in Pearse Street) but for some reason in my daydreaming state, I walked the opposite way from town. An hour after walking, I kinda woke up from my daydream and ended up in Dun Laoghaire.

Sorry, but I have to call bollocks on this Fago!, Unless you were day dreaming on a 10KM/H run but that would just be dangerous. :P

Dunjohn · 13-04-2010 03:45PM

Speaking of GTA4, I've had to stop playing that until I pass my driving test. I was out doing corner reverses one night with my Dad, and we were were starting to head home when he said, "Okay, that went alright, but why are you driving on the wrong side of the road?"

Just this morning I've realised that I got the wrong CD to go with my teaching book. The CDs cost €50 each and I've had it two weeks now.

ejmaztec · 13-04-2010 03:49PM

xzanti wrote: »

I once called my boyfriend in a panic, pulled over on the hard shoulder of the M50 convinced my car was on fire...

Turns out it was just steam rising off the bonet from the rain.. Doh

I was driving down the Tralee road half-asleep one morning, and had to slow down after coming out of a bend. There was a car in front of me doing about 30mph, and it was completely engulfed in flames, the fire roaring out through the windows.

I followed it for a couple of minutes, as if giving the driver a chance to pull in, before coming to my senses. "How the fuck would there be a driver in that, you stupid twat?" I said to myself.:o

I decided to overtake it and give it a wide berth, then spotted an oil tanker delivering oil to a bungalow further along. I just hoofed it and kept looking in the rearview mirror to see where the burning car was heading to. It eventually rolled into a garden wall and stopped, thankfully on the opposite side to the tanker.

I later found out that it had gone up in flames when the driver was in it, and that she'd kicked it into gear when she made her escape. It was strange that it travelled in a straight line for such a long time with no-one steering it.:eek:

sam34 · 13-04-2010 03:50PM

there was a thread in tLL recently about the seemingly huge number of women that are pregnant these days

someone posted "i know at least 13 women who are having 2010 babies"

when i read that, i thought they meant 13 women were having 2010 babies between them, and i started trying to mentally divide 2010 by 13 to see how many babies each woman would be having..... then i realised the op meant she knew 13 women who were having babies in 2010

i needed to lie down in a darkened room after that...

Fago! · 13-04-2010 03:51PM

sam34 wrote: »

there was a thread in tLL recently about the seemingly huge number of women that are pregnant these days

someone posted "i know at least 13 women who are having 2010 babies"

when i read that, i thought they meant 13 women were having 2010 babies between them, and i started trying to mentally divide 2010 by 13 to see how many babies each woman would be having..... then i realised the op meant she knew 13 women who were having babies in 2010

i needed to lie down in a darkened room after that...

Ha. I laffed

brummytom · 13-04-2010 04:20PM

The Saint wrote: »

No one cares about your little getting lost story. Tell us if you got the part? Did you make an arse of yourself during the auditions? Did you have to finger a girl in front of the judges (I know what sort of a depraved dirty show that 'Skins' is)?

Naah of course I didn't. Only went down for a laugh.
I didn't get to finger a girl either, unfortunately

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

did you get a ride off effy?

I don't watch Skins so I've no idea who that is... we did meet some bloke who plays 'JJ'? Nice bloke

Kiera · 13-04-2010 04:31PM

I have these moments all the time. Last weekend:

I went out to my car and it was gone. 2 of my neighbours were there and they're messers so i thought they moved is as they have done with one of the other girls before. But i drive a big car so they wouldnt have been able to lift mine. So here i am searching the carpark asking them where the hell have they put it and they cant stop laughing saying i must have left it somewhere else. *ping* i remembered i'd left it down at my friends on Friday night

bp1989 · 13-04-2010 04:40PM

gavredking wrote: »

Woke up one night in December at about 3:10 AM and mis-read my phone and though it said 8:10 AM, was getting dressed and about to head off downstairs to head to work when my sister informed me what time it was. .

/ Facepalm

Same kind of thing happened to me before. I woke up (and without even checking the time) was suddenly sure it was morning. I got up, dressed, but it was only when I opened my blind and saw it was pitch black out that I looked at my phone and saw it was 4:00am :pac:

MrStuffins · 13-04-2010 04:44PM

Fago! wrote: »

I made a bowl of cheerios and when I sat down on the couch, realised I made them in a cup.

Couple of weeks ago I tried to thank a post but couldn't see the button. I was trying to figure out why I couldn't thank that post, then realised that I had posted it 5 minutes before.

I intended on walking to town (I live in Pearse Street) but for some reason in my daydreaming state, I walked the opposite way from town. An hour after walking, I kinda woke up from my daydream and ended up in Dun Laoghaire.

An hour into playing GTA 4 I realise I was originally meant to put in a Metallica DVD, not a game.

Without trying to sound hostile, and making an exception for the GTA 4 one...........

... each of these stories is ballocks!

I posted this in another thread a while back.....

I was on the phone to the missus, on my mobile. The conversation was very long and wasnt really about anything, it was just a chat!

During the call i wondered what the time was. I don't wear a watch, i use my phone to tell the time. So i checked my pocket for it.. it wasn't there! It wasn't on the chair! I went to my bedroom, it wasn't there! I said "Oh feck". My girlfriend asks "what's wrong?"

I say "I can't find my phone!"

What makes it worse is that she laughed uncontrolably for 5 minutes before i realised what she was laughing at!

Dr. Baltar · 13-04-2010 04:47PM

When I was about 16 I had just lost my job and was talking to my cousin who's brother had commited suicide by drowning.
He asked me (on the quay) "So what're you going to do now?"
I jokingly replied (without thinking) "Either find a new job, and if not... there's always a river there"

I think part of me died seconds after that comment.

Another time, I commented to my Dad's friend how I thought the Romanians on the street "were knackers" until I heard them talk.
He looked at me sternly and walked away.

When I asked my Dad about it later, he told me that the guy is married to a traveller.

salad dodger · 13-04-2010 04:52PM

While driving around town, with my brother and his g/f, looking for parking and finding none I exclaimed (jokingly of course) that 'those disabled people get all the best spaces'!! Completely forgeting that the brother's g/f's own brother had a serious biking accident which has left him in a wheelchair for the rest of his life with only minimum use of one of his hands:eek:!!!

:oIt still make me cringe thinking about it:o:o

gagiteebo · 13-04-2010 05:01PM

These happened a while ago.......I was a thick child

Decided to pour myself a big glass of ribena, was really thirsty so just attempted to gulp it down...was wondering why it tasted a bit funny....I'd forgotten to dilute it

The first time I made myself a cup of tea I couldn't figure out why the water wasn't turning the lovely golden brown colour it usually did....I hadn't actually put a tea bag into the cup :rolleyes: I really don't know how I made it to 27 years old in one piece

uncleoswald · 13-04-2010 05:02PM

I was about to give a presentation in college when I looked down at my feet and noticed I was wearing odd shoes. Not even similar, one was red and one was blue. I told the lecturer I hadn't finished my report and took the fail..... I have since done the same thing twice in work.

Once when I was getting ready for work I realised my shirt was downstairs in the dryer, so in the mean time I put my zip top on to hide my embarrassment. It was only when I noticed the breeze on my chest and many an odd look on the bus did I remember my shirt was still in the dryer....

brummytom · 13-04-2010 05:04PM

Kiera wrote: »

I have these moments all the time. Last weekend:

I went out to my car and it was gone. 2 of my neighbours were there and they're messers so i thought they moved is as they have done with one of the other girls before. But i drive a big car so they wouldnt have been able to lift mine. So here i am searching the carpark asking them where the hell have they put it and they cant stop laughing saying i must have left it somewhere else. *ping* i remembered i'd left it down at my friends on Friday night

Reminds me of a story my mom told me about her uncle:

After an afternoon of drinking, he realised he'd ran out and made his way down to the off-licence in the car (this was the 70s, drink-driving wasn't a deadly sin like it is now; and it was only round the corner). Anyway, he comes out of the off-licence, and as it's a nice evening he decides to leave the car there and walk home. No one else in the house knew any of this, though.

So he drank the rest and fell asleep. Woke up the next morning and screamed. "SOMEONE'S STOLEN THE FUCKING CAR!!". The police were called, and within five minutes had located the car outside the offie. Her uncle had suddenly remembered what had happened; "Ah so the buggers didn't get very far then".

Those 'Oh God, I'm an Idiot' moments.

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