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What are your funniest Irish sayings?

1…457910…12

Comments

  • #302
    MaybeLogic
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,462 ✭✭✭MaybeLogic


    DrumSteve wrote: »
    do you think i came up the liffey on a sponge?

    No way.
    The sponge would absorb too much water and you'd probably sink.
    I call shenanigans.


  • #303
    damagegt
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,061 ✭✭✭damagegt


    shell be up on your back like a sceartán.


  • #304
    EL_Loco
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 901 ✭✭✭EL_Loco


    "I'll do that now in a minute"

    Saying "yeah" as someone ends a sentence, realising you don't agree and say "no" = "yeahhhNo"

    "Arragh whisht"

    the word "het" e.g. "the baby got all het up and started crying"


  • #305
    Duddy
    Registered Users Posts: 1,134 ✭✭✭Duddy


    "She was Wetter than a Sligo Road!" <--- She's in a state of sexual arousal.

    "S'craic?" <--- How are you?

    "MonTay****!" <---Hurry up!


  • #306
    Bolag_the_2nd
    Registered Users Posts: 1,224 ✭✭✭Bolag_the_2nd


    com'ere to me now you gowel or u'll get a schlap of a stelletto


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  • #307
    Dutchie
    Registered Users Posts: 366 ✭✭Dutchie


    "I've a rod on me that'd beat badgers out of a ditch"

    "She'd get up on a cat going through a skylight"

    "She'd get up on the squeak of a wheelbarrow"

    "She'd get up on clipped hedge"

    "I'm that hungry i'd eat the bear arse of a christian brother through a bramble bush"


  • #308
    fontanalis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,619 ✭✭✭fontanalis


    You can't make honey out of dogs shyte.


  • #309
    DrumSteve
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,798 ✭✭✭✭DrumSteve


    MaybeLogic wrote: »
    No way.
    The sponge would absorb too much water and you'd probably sink.
    I call shenanigans.

    The logicity of the statement is definitely not implicit.


  • #310
    OutlawPete
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,689 ✭✭✭✭OutlawPete


    ColaBeDamned wrote: »
    I don't get it, is that an expression? Thanking you in advance for your explanation! :)

    Yes, tis a Dublin expression.

    If you were Breaking The Law for instance and got caught red handed, that would be Snared Rapid ;)

    Whole thread dedicated to her saying it here:

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055844724


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WqhiJwL5_k


  • #311
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 92,450 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    An tSaoi wrote: »
    What does "Now we're sucking diesel" mean? It's been mentioned a few times.
    something to do with the maintenance of injectors on tractors


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  • #312
    El Siglo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,803 ✭✭✭El Siglo


    "She's got a face on her like a bulldog that's after lickin' piss off a nettle"
    and
    "As thick as pig shite in a bottle"


  • #313
    RustyBeanTin
    Registered Users Posts: 142 ✭✭RustyBeanTin


    That Guinness is after cuttin the hole off me

    jaysus your one is an awful tramp. Fair ****s to her


  • #314
    g5fd6ow0hseima
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,787 ✭✭✭g5fd6ow0hseima


    jeez thats awful cuntish........


  • #315
    RustyBeanTin
    Registered Users Posts: 142 ✭✭RustyBeanTin


    You're an awful eeijet, d'ya know that

    My ma is some geebag

    Bollocks! The car is banjaxed

    Be right out. I'm just taking a ****e

    Alright, loosebit. Any chance of a ride

    Wha do ya mean do I love ya? aren't I riding ya!


  • #316
    Euro_Kraut
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,957 ✭✭✭Euro_Kraut


    "Not since Tuesday was a week!" .....as in a very long time ago

    "I'm so hungry I'd eat the Lamb of God!" ... as in I am hungry presently.


  • #317
    davef1000
    Closed Accounts Posts: 223 ✭✭davef1000


    I'd ate the back door, buttered.


  • #318
    Hagar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,793 ✭✭✭✭Hagar


    Euro_Kraut wrote: »
    "I'm so hungry I'd eat the Lamb of God!"
    Another variant "I'd eat the leg off the Lamb of God".


  • #319
    Irish_wolf
    Registered Users Posts: 267 ✭✭Irish_wolf


    Probably been mentioned before but what the hay

    Fair f***s to ya
    variaton on snared rapid - Stung rapid
    sh**ting meself or sketched to bits (<-kildare one i think)
    Goin' through me like the luas through a bus
    Sweatin' like a blind fanny gobler in a fish shop, friend of mine said this yesterday nearly died laughin
    Ah he's for the birds so he is!
    Jaiz yer man's dead sound, try that one to a non-irish and you get some weird looks


  • #320
    copperfacegaz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 126 ✭✭copperfacegaz


    just used this one last nite then thought of this thread ..... ah you were " caught rapid " !


  • #321
    DonnieBrasco
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 169 ✭✭DonnieBrasco


    its too cold to snow.


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  • #322
    Bolag_the_2nd
    Registered Users Posts: 1,224 ✭✭✭Bolag_the_2nd


    my mates american cousin thaught that "doin your nut" was masterbating! when i said that seanie was at home doin his nut (cos we didnt wait for him) she said. eugh way 2 much information, had to laugh,


  • #323
    Michaelrsh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 640 ✭✭✭Michaelrsh


    F*#~ me pink and call me pony!


  • #324
    Thomas828
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,492 ✭✭✭Thomas828


    "He couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo!" - he's totally incompetent. "He'd eat the legs off the table." - enormous appetite.


  • #325
    Thomas828
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,492 ✭✭✭Thomas828


    Two from Belfast: You want a dig in the head, fella?" - self explanatory. "Come on, have ye a fair dig now!" - let's fight! ('now' rhymes with 'fly')


  • #326
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    69 wrote: »
    Another variant "I'd eat the leg off the Lamb of God".

    and another two:

    i'd eat a cows arse through a hedge

    i'd eat a nuns arse through a keyhole


  • #327
    gent9662
    Closed Accounts Posts: 697 ✭✭✭gent9662


    roughan wrote: »
    Heard a classic over the weekend on a mate describing a one night stand....

    " I left her face like a painters radio" !

    Brilliant!


  • #328
    gent9662
    Closed Accounts Posts: 697 ✭✭✭gent9662


    Go ugly and avoid the rush.

    You don't look at the mantle piece when you're stoking the fire.

    Face like the back end of me bollix!

    Sweatin like a rapist


  • #329
    Mister-M5
    Registered Users Posts: 225 ✭✭Mister-M5


    A girl you don't fancy:
    "I wouldn't ride her into battle"
    "The tide wouldn't take her out"

    If I had only done such a thing:
    "Sure if my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle"

    Being drunk last night:
    "Lads I was never in America but I was in some state last night"

    Describing someone that's bad a soccer, football, rugy etc:
    "He wouldn't get a kick in a horsebox"
    "He wouldn't get a kick in a Jackie Chan film"
    "He wouldn't get a kick in a stampede"


  • #330
    DrumSteve
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,798 ✭✭✭✭DrumSteve


    69 wrote: »
    Yes, yes, yes.

    **** i din't realise that posted 3 times :o


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  • #331
    SlabMurphy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 462 ✭✭SlabMurphy


    " The older the fiddle the sweeter the tune " - ( said by a middle aged man when talking about if he'd be up to it with a younger chick )

    " As rear as hen's teeth " When something is hard to get like tickets for an All Ireland final.


  • #332
    OutlawPete
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,689 ✭✭✭✭OutlawPete


    Anyone ever hear this bad boy?

    "Get the name of early rising and you can sleep till dinner time."


  • #333
    suitseir
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 887 ✭✭✭suitseir


    "You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear!"


  • #334
    Germag
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 96 ✭✭Germag


    Tá sé mahogany gas pipe.


  • #335
    EI111
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 527 ✭✭✭EI111


    I'd eat a horse between two bread vans


  • #336
    steve_
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 956 ✭✭✭steve_


    "I wouldnt get up on her to get over a wall"

    "sure go on, its the last friday of the week"


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  • #337
    Azhrei
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 308 ✭✭Azhrei


    Something you'll often hear in Cork -

    "Look at tha' there, 'la."

    What?!


  • #338
    Thomas828
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,492 ✭✭✭Thomas828


    I've thought of one more: "Yer beat out all roads!" (beat rhymes with 8) You're stymied. There's nothing you can do.


  • #339
    partyguinness
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,203 ✭✭✭partyguinness


    On shagging a 'loose' girl....

    "It was like a dog wagging it's tail in a bucket of water."

    Still cracks me up...:D


  • #340
    Rebelheart
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,077 ✭✭✭Rebelheart


    Look at the head on that fella and the price of turnips.


  • #341
    ItsAWindUp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,325 ✭✭✭ItsAWindUp


    When someone is wearing fairly summery clothes :"I hope we get the weather your looking for!". Always gets me haha!


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  • #342
    RustyBeanTin
    Registered Users Posts: 142 ✭✭RustyBeanTin


    You're an awful eeijet, d'ya know that

    My ma is some geebag

    Bollocks! The car is banjaxed

    Be right out. I'm just taking a ****e

    Alright, loosebit. Any chance of a ride

    Wha do ya mean do I love ya? aren't I riding ya!

    that guiness is cuttin the hole of me


  • #343
    scrappycoco
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭scrappycoco


    Describing women:
    -I wouldn't ride her if she had peddles
    -She's as raw as bacon


  • #344
    we'llallhavetea_old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,971 ✭✭✭we'llallhavetea_old


    "help the wear" - my da says this everytime ye get new clothes.... ?

    he is from cavan though....


  • #345
    civis_liberalis
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,772 ✭✭✭civis_liberalis


    I started a sentence the other day among friends by saying "muise" (muh-shah).

    They thought it was a right culch thing to say. My first language is Irish so I sometimes slip in the odd word unbeknownst to myself.

    Them lads off the RTÉ Storyland thing, "Hardy Bucks" are a goldmine for Hiberno-Anglicisms.


  • #346
    Dyr
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,246 ✭✭✭✭Dyr


    dere's currants for cakes but dere's raysons for many things


  • #347
    shapez
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 724 ✭✭✭shapez


    Apologies if they were mentioned and if you find them offensive. I've heard of the following......

    "So hungry, I'd eat the ar*e off a low flying duck!"

    "So hungry, I'd eat a farmers ar*e through a hedge!"

    "Sick as 10 episodes of ER!"

    "She's goin' like a wh*re on rails!"

    "I'd leave a face on her like a painters radio!"

    "I'd whitewash her bowels!"

    "Leave a load in her the size of a cowsh*te!"


  • #348
    BigDuffman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,512 ✭✭✭BigDuffman


    Yer wan was kissing me like a horse eating an apple through a letter box.

    *watching girls trying to walk in heels* "she's like a newborn girraffe on roller skates"

    *Bouncer to a short chap in a suit acting the muppet* "Here listen shorty, f*ck off back on top of that wedding cake*

    *Chinese lad gives a chinese girl a jockey back out of club* Bouncer goes "here look a chinese take away"

    Scaldy Balls
    Short arms long pockets - Tight
    He'd line his pockets with rubber to steal soup - Tight / Light fingered
    "Here mate you dropped a triangle" - To a chap thats shaping / strutting
    "have you ever picked up teeth with broken fingers...?"
    Pick a window your leaving
    Good Jaysus- (Colm Meaney does it best!)
    How'd you get the black eye....? "Yer owl one man, she poked me in the eye with her cock"


  • #349
    Optimum
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 146 ✭✭Optimum


    Shaking like a ****ting dog


  • #350
    orourkeda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,918 ✭✭✭✭orourkeda


    Go on ourrrrra dat


  • #351
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    stick/work it up the eye of your prick


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