Best/worst/weirdest chat up lines

Dublin_Gunner · 15-02-2010 11:04AM

darragh-k wrote: »

I have some tragic news, my cock died. Can I bury it in your ass?

60% of the time, works everytime

??

Me: Happy birthday!
her: Its not my birthday?
Me: It is now

Actually worked for me before...

Like fruit? Well you can suck on my knob its a peach!

similarly.:

Like jewellery? Well you can suck on my knob its a gem!

Darksaga87 · 15-02-2010 11:06AM

Got any irish in ya?

BigDuffman · 15-02-2010 11:18AM

Bonito wrote: »

Me:"Sorry what perfume are you wearing, it smells very nice?"
Her: "What? I smell?
Me: "No, what's your perfume it's nice?"
Her: "Oh, it's addict by Dior"
Me: "I think I'm addicted already" While placing hand on small of her back (not too high and not too low) and giving her a kiss on the cheek

EPIC FAIL! Cheeeeeze. You seemed serious....chat up lines only work if their done with a cheeky grin and NOT being serious about what your actually saying.

My personal Fave

"Get in the van and I'll give you a lollipop"

"Hows your belly for a lodger?"

"hi, I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore uranus"

"Lad:do you like to dance

girl:yeah why

Lad: ok well go over there and dance so I can talk to your friend"

3qsmavrod5twfe · 15-02-2010 11:47AM

I prefer a good 6 to 8 months of stalking first, them BOOM! hit them with the classsic I know everything about you and I am crazy about you even though you have no idea who I am.

If TV has taught me anyhting, this is undoubtedly the only way to go.

That or a "Hi, my name is <insert name here>, what's yours?"

Incidentally, the name "Fukov" is remarkably popular!

bonerm · 15-02-2010 11:51AM

Dublin_Gunner wrote: »

Like fruit? Well you can suck on my knob its a peach!

similarly.:

Like jewellery? Well you can suck on my knob its a gem!

similarily :

Like chicken? Well you can suck on my knob its fowl.

MiciG91 · 15-02-2010 02:14PM

Id love to tickle your bellybutton. . . . .From the inside !

az2wp0sye65487 · 15-02-2010 02:29PM

Get in the van, I have a knife

we'llallhavetea_old · 15-02-2010 04:27PM

lad: "is you're father a thief?"
Me: "no, why?"
lad: "because he must have stolen the stars outta the sky for your eyes"
me: ".........."
lad: " i have more!?"
me: "no, you're alright thanks...."

another lad came up to me and said "how do you feel about lads with land"
i lol'd.

Atavan-Halen · 15-02-2010 04:28PM

"We should mate!"

"What?!"

"I said we should date"

banshee_bones · 15-02-2010 05:10PM

If any of ye get the "I wouldnt go out with/kiss/sleep with you if we were the last two people on earth" all you have to say in return is

"If i was the last man on earth..who would stop me?"

caseyann · 15-02-2010 05:15PM

You arent usually my type i normally go for hot women

OutlawPete · 15-02-2010 05:20PM

I once pulled a girl I had no business even talking to by saying:

"I know your out my league but sure it's Christmas".

I was very drunk too, but then so was she (obviously)

8k2q1gfcz9s5d4 · 15-02-2010 05:20PM

Midnight_EG wrote: »

Your dick isn't a bone :cool:

And that's a natural law!

ScumLord · 15-02-2010 05:20PM

Write "OFF" on the front and back of a t-shirt (tipex would do it) then wander around town telling every woman you see to "**** off". One's bound to bite sooner or later and if they don't you'll more than likely get raped in jail so it's not a complete loss.

8k2q1gfcz9s5d4 · 15-02-2010 05:25PM

say to a girl jokingly "im going to get with you tonight!" when she asks how? look her straight in the eyes with a serious look in you face and say "BECAUSE IM STRONGER THAN YOU ARE!"

mailforkev · 15-02-2010 05:26PM

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I've got a knife,
so get into the van.

Edit: Oh curses, the one page of the thread I skipped had something almost identical.

OutlawPete · 15-02-2010 05:26PM

mailforkev wrote: »

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Pull down your knickers & give us a goo

fyp

fullstop · 15-02-2010 05:30PM

What's the diffference between a Ferrari and an erection?

I haven't got a Ferrari...

podgemonster · 15-02-2010 05:43PM

Walk up to a girl,
spit on her top/dress etc...
then say 'now how about we get you outta those wet clothes!'

GiftofGab · 15-02-2010 05:46PM

Say to a group of girls;

You: Do you know that 78% of girls masterbate in the shower, and the other 22% sing? But do you know what they sing?
Girls: What?
You: Oh well, you must be the ones who masterbate so!

Fago! · 15-02-2010 05:53PM

Roses are red,
Violets are violet,
only an idiot would think the were blue,

It's factually wrong,
that poem above,
so I thought I'd comedically show you my love,

I was gonna play a prank on this valentines day,
by wearing some leather and saying I'm gay,

But then I thought nah, I wanna feel like a king,
so get down on your knees and smile like a ring!

15-02-2010 05:57PM

Guy: "What's bigger than Canada?"
Girl: "I don't know.. What?"
Guy: "My dick".

OutlawPete · 15-02-2010 06:02PM

Fago_25 wrote: »

I was gonna play a prank on this valentines day,
by wearing some leather and saying I'm gay,

But then I thought nah, I wanna feel like a king,
so get down on your knees and lick my ring!

Better

Fago! · 15-02-2010 06:09PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Girl: "What's bigger than Canada?"
Guy: "I don't know.. What?"
Girl: "My dick".

Better

Jordonvito · 15-02-2010 06:10PM

"Hows your pit for silage?"

Darksaga87 · 15-02-2010 08:11PM

Ya dont sweat much for a fat burd.

McChubbin · 15-02-2010 09:10PM

I love this thread so much I wanna donkey punch it.

cock robin · 15-02-2010 11:20PM

Do you like chicken. Well get your lips around this it's foul.

My name is URL · 15-02-2010 11:36PM

"If all else fails, just get your lad out"

that's one I used, I read it on an internet forum... didn't end well

GiftofGab · 15-02-2010 11:42PM

My name is URL wrote: »

"If all else fails, just get your lad out"

that's one I used, I read it on an internet forum... didn't end well

Think the saying is; "If in doubt, whip it out"

Best/worst/weirdest chat up lines

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