Best/worst/weirdest chat up lines

McChubbin

In the spirit of this dubious day of consumerism, let's all offer up the best/worst/ downright weirdest pickup lines you've heard of.

I'll start the ball rolling with one I've never actually used:
"You melt my chocolate!"

alwaysadub

'Here's 20p, call your ma and tell her you won't be home tonight'.
Never used on me thank god cos i would've laughed in his face. Probably obsolete these days too seen as no one uses pay phones anymore

christina_x

one that worked on me was "do i know you?".
its simple but made me stop to respond

Diabhal Beag

"Those jeans make your dick look big" - Unknown blonde female

bonerm

alwaysadub wrote: »

'Here's 20p, call your ma and tell her you won't be home tonight'.
Never used on me thank god cos i would've laughed in his face. Probably obsolete these days too seen as no one uses pay phones anymore

Very popular with Catholic priests.

Hank_Jones

''Do you know what would look good on you?''

''Me''

builttospill

Stick a fork in this thread.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055576975&highlight=chat-up+lines

happyoutscan

Diabhal Beag wrote: »

"Those jeans make your dick look big" - Unknown blonde female

Meaning those jeans are too tight and your man-bag is squashed perhaps?

Riddle101

"Hey you, get in my bed and stay there, i'll be back with another girl in a few mintutes and then we can get crazy" Only joking. I'm not one for chat up lines, but i've heard a few good ones from The Godfather video games.

"I bet you can make me feel like a real man"

"Don't be stingy baby, c'mere"

"Dont' be a tease, kiss me"

mikom

May as well say it, as someone will.

"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"

jd007

You know you have 256 bones in your body?

Want another one?

Dartz

For efficiency's sake

brummytom

IBT"Let's not turn this rape into a murder"

Midnight_EG

jd007 wrote: »

You know you have 256 bones in your body?

Want another one?

Your dick isn't a bone :cool:

Atavan-Halen

*Licks finger and rubs on target*

"Let's get you out of those wet clothes" :cool:

bigeasyeah

'I study psychology'

Dubs

"Hey, wanna come back to mine for a curry and sex?"

micosavo

"your eyes...They are like spanners"

"erm..whay"

"Coz everytime I see them my nuts tighten"

bluecatmorgana

Dance with me or I'll **** in your handbag.


Apparently its worked sometimes

Whyno

"Can i smell you knickers??? No...It must be your feet then"

Naturally if she says yes its a result

Wazdakka

Come back to mine and I'll give you the antidote..

Sod'o swords

'Care to go halves on a bastard?'

'Are you sure you don't work in subway? Cause you're giving me a footlong.'

And the classic.

'You'll do.'

epgc3fyqirnbsx

How would you like to be buried with my people?

McChubbin

"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?"

No, but it'll definately hurt when i kick you in the nads...

Krusader

"Im no Fred Flintstone but i'll certainly make your Bedrock"

"Do you work for An Post, cause I seen you checking out my package"

longshanks

hey there, are you tired?

cos you've been running through my mind all night.................... screaming, bruised, covered in blood...

magma69

Is that a mirror in your knickers? Because I can see myself in there later.

Nice legs. What time do they open?

bluto63

Do you work for Jacobs?

Cause you're a cracker!

bonerm

(when interupting a conversation)
"Hey! Is this guy boring you? Why don't you come talk to me instead? I'm from a different planet. "

Capt'n Midnight

From the moment I first saw you I knew could make you famous.

I'm an anthropologist

xw2lj9uspm1eyh

According to maxim these are the chat up lines that will work for you.

Hi, I’m a decent bloke who thinks you’re gorgeous. Someone said you were looking for me?

I know women usually go for bastards, but do you fancy a drink, anyway? Have I seen you before? Sorry – I’m thinking of the model on that make-up advert.

Do you fancy a dance? (Girl says ‘no’) I suppose a shag’s out of the question, then?

We’ve only just met, but can I say, ‘I’m in love with your bum.’

You’re so pretty, I had to come over and say ‘hi’.

You have an amazing smile.

Are you Jamaican? Cos jer-makin’ me crazy, man.

I bet you £10 you’ll turn me down…

It’s nice to meet a woman who’s beautiful and intelligent.

Hi, do you have a boyfriend? No? Are you taking applications?

I don’t normally approach girls like this…

I don’t want you to think I’m ridiculous or anything, but you are the most gorgeous girl I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you.

Would you like to dance?

I just wanted to give you the pleasure of turning me down. Go ahead – say ‘no’.

Can I buy you a drink?

What would you do if I kissed you right now?

You look like the type of girl who has heard every line in the book. So what’s one more?

That’s quite a nice little nothing you’re almost wearing. I approve…

Sorry to interrupt, but I had to just tell you that you’re lovely.

(Break an ice cube with your teeth) Now I’ve broken the ice, can I buy you a drink?

I know Jedi mind tricks. Go home with me tonight, you will.


There's also a list of ones that dont work on the website few been mentioned already in this thread :P.

http://www.maxim.co.uk/realgirls/sextips/6145/chatup_lines_that_work_plus_some_that_dont.html

Piriz

is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven?
she said; im not wearing tights, its a scar from when i was stabbed during a sexual assault:eek:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpttKzgZ7yU&feature=channel

dublin 16 lad

Hi have you ever been to India?

Cause I want to get it into ya!

thetonynator

mendusa wrote: »

Would you like to dance?



Can I buy you a drink?

Not at all original!!!!



Here's one: I've lost my treasure, can I look at your chest???

dublin 16 lad

Any chance of sex?

magma69

Very nice! How much?

Works a charm.

Closed ac

I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talkin' to you.

Bonito

Me:"Sorry what perfume are you wearing, it smells very nice?"
Her: "What? I smell?
Me: "No, what's your perfume it's nice?"
Her: "Oh, it's addict by Dior"
Me: "I think I'm addicted already" While placing hand on small of her back (not too high and not too low) and giving her a kiss on the cheek

jd007

NOW!

Closed ac

Bonito wrote: »

Me:"Sorry what perfume are you wearing, it smells very nice?"
Her: "What? I smell?
Me: "No, what's your perfume it's nice?"
Her: "Oh, it's addict by Dior"
Me: "I think I'm addicted already" While placing hand on small of her back (not too high and not too low) and giving her a kiss on the cheek

Jeez, that's a bit much, all we want is some ass?

Bonito

DKZ wrote: »

Jeez, that's a bit much, all we want is some ass?

Well I didn't go home alone that night In fact, I didn't go home at all

Atavan-Halen

Bonito wrote: »

Well I didn't go home alone that night In fact, I didn't go home at all

You spent a night in the hospital after a severe kick to the groin didn't you

tony1kenobi

Best chat up line ever is:

"Hi,I'm Bruce Willis"

But it only works for Bruce Willis.

Best chat up line I ever heard:

"Do you ****?"

Dude only needed one girl to say yes,and one did.

Bonito

atavan-halen wrote: »

You spent a night in the hospital after a severe kick to the groin didn't you

NO











/yes

ch252

I have some tragic news, my cock died. Can I bury it in your ass?


60% of the time, works everytime:p

Westwood

two friends at the bar, one bowler one good looking the usual. approach the fat bowler and ask her would she like to dance. she replies ''id love to'' well fcuk off and do so I can talk to your mate!!!

sesna

Midnight_EG wrote: »

Your dick isn't a bone :cool:

The humerus is though

epgc3fyqirnbsx

I've got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give you the keys

Ferris_Bueller

Roses are red,
Weeds are green,
I love your legs,
and whats in between

McChubbin

Ferris_Bueller wrote: »

Roses are red,
Weeds are green,
I love your legs,
and whats in between

Roses are red,
Violets are blue....















....I'll f'uck you with a rake.

Capt'n Midnight

no ones mentioned this classic



Nice shoes.
Wanna Fúck ?