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Best/worst/weirdest chat up lines

McChubbin · 2010-02-14 18:35:43

In the spirit of this dubious day of consumerism, let's all offer up the best/worst/ downright weirdest pickup lines you've heard of. I'll start the ball rolling with one I've never actually used: "You melt my chocolate!"

14-02-2010 07:35PM

#1

McChubbin

Closed Accounts Posts: 5,080 ✭✭✭

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In the spirit of this dubious day of consumerism, let's all offer up the best/worst/ downright weirdest pickup lines you've heard of.

I'll start the ball rolling with one I've never actually used:
"You melt my chocolate!"

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Comments

#2 14-02-2010 07:39PM

alwaysadub

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'Here's 20p, call your ma and tell her you won't be home tonight'.
Never used on me thank god cos i would've laughed in his face. Probably obsolete these days too seen as no one uses pay phones anymore

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#3 14-02-2010 07:41PM

christina_x

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one that worked on me was "do i know you?".
its simple but made me stop to respond

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#4 14-02-2010 07:42PM

Diabhal Beag

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"Those jeans make your dick look big" - Unknown blonde female

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#5 14-02-2010 07:42PM

bonerm

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alwaysadub wrote: »

'Here's 20p, call your ma and tell her you won't be home tonight'.
Never used on me thank god cos i would've laughed in his face. Probably obsolete these days too seen as no one uses pay phones anymore

Very popular with Catholic priests.

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#6 14-02-2010 07:42PM

Hank_Jones

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''Do you know what would look good on you?''

''Me''

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#7 14-02-2010 07:43PM

builttospill

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Stick a fork in this thread.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055576975&highlight=chat-up+lines

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#8 14-02-2010 07:47PM

happyoutscan

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Diabhal Beag wrote: »

"Those jeans make your dick look big" - Unknown blonde female

Meaning those jeans are too tight and your man-bag is squashed perhaps?

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#9 14-02-2010 07:47PM

Riddle101

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"Hey you, get in my bed and stay there, i'll be back with another girl in a few mintutes and then we can get crazy" Only joking. I'm not one for chat up lines, but i've heard a few good ones from The Godfather video games.

"I bet you can make me feel like a real man"

"Don't be stingy baby, c'mere"

"Dont' be a tease, kiss me"

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#10 14-02-2010 07:48PM

mikom

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May as well say it, as someone will.

"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"

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#11 14-02-2010 07:51PM

jd007

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You know you have 256 bones in your body?

Want another one?

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#12 14-02-2010 07:52PM

Dartz

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For efficiency's sake

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#13 14-02-2010 07:57PM

brummytom

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IBT"Let's not turn this rape into a murder"

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#14 14-02-2010 08:02PM

Midnight_EG

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jd007 wrote: »

You know you have 256 bones in your body?

Want another one?

Your dick isn't a bone :cool:

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#15 14-02-2010 08:11PM

Atavan-Halen

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*Licks finger and rubs on target*

"Let's get you out of those wet clothes" :cool:

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#16 14-02-2010 08:12PM

bigeasyeah

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'I study psychology'

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#17 14-02-2010 08:16PM

Dubs

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"Hey, wanna come back to mine for a curry and sex?"

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#18 14-02-2010 08:18PM

micosavo

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"your eyes...They are like spanners"

"erm..whay"

"Coz everytime I see them my nuts tighten"

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#19 14-02-2010 08:18PM

bluecatmorgana

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Dance with me or I'll **** in your handbag.

Apparently its worked sometimes

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#20 14-02-2010 08:19PM

Whyno

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"Can i smell you knickers??? No...It must be your feet then"

Naturally if she says yes its a result

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#21 14-02-2010 08:26PM

Wazdakka

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Come back to mine and I'll give you the antidote..

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#22 14-02-2010 08:53PM

Sod'o swords

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'Care to go halves on a bastard?'

'Are you sure you don't work in subway? Cause you're giving me a footlong.'

And the classic.

'You'll do.'

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#23 14-02-2010 08:55PM

epgc3fyqirnbsx

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How would you like to be buried with my people?

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#24 14-02-2010 09:13PM

McChubbin

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"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?"

No, but it'll definately hurt when i kick you in the nads...

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#25 14-02-2010 09:21PM

Krusader

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"Im no Fred Flintstone but i'll certainly make your Bedrock"

"Do you work for An Post, cause I seen you checking out my package"

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#26 14-02-2010 09:46PM

longshanks

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hey there, are you tired?

cos you've been running through my mind all night.................... screaming, bruised, covered in blood...

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#27 14-02-2010 10:14PM

magma69

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Is that a mirror in your knickers? Because I can see myself in there later.

Nice legs. What time do they open?

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#28 14-02-2010 10:16PM

bluto63

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Do you work for Jacobs?

Cause you're a cracker!

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#29 14-02-2010 10:20PM

bonerm

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(when interupting a conversation)
"Hey! Is this guy boring you? Why don't you come talk to me instead? I'm from a different planet. "

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#30 14-02-2010 10:23PM

Capt'n Midnight

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From the moment I first saw you I knew could make you famous.

I'm an anthropologist

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#31 14-02-2010 10:28PM

xw2lj9uspm1eyh

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According to maxim these are the chat up lines that will work for you.

Hi, I’m a decent bloke who thinks you’re gorgeous. Someone said you were looking for me?

I know women usually go for bastards, but do you fancy a drink, anyway? Have I seen you before? Sorry – I’m thinking of the model on that make-up advert.

Do you fancy a dance? (Girl says ‘no’) I suppose a shag’s out of the question, then?

We’ve only just met, but can I say, ‘I’m in love with your bum.’

You’re so pretty, I had to come over and say ‘hi’.

You have an amazing smile.

Are you Jamaican? Cos jer-makin’ me crazy, man.

I bet you £10 you’ll turn me down…

It’s nice to meet a woman who’s beautiful and intelligent.

Hi, do you have a boyfriend? No? Are you taking applications?

I don’t normally approach girls like this…

I don’t want you to think I’m ridiculous or anything, but you are the most gorgeous girl I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you.

Would you like to dance?

I just wanted to give you the pleasure of turning me down. Go ahead – say ‘no’.

Can I buy you a drink?

What would you do if I kissed you right now?

You look like the type of girl who has heard every line in the book. So what’s one more?

That’s quite a nice little nothing you’re almost wearing. I approve…

Sorry to interrupt, but I had to just tell you that you’re lovely.

(Break an ice cube with your teeth) Now I’ve broken the ice, can I buy you a drink?

I know Jedi mind tricks. Go home with me tonight, you will.

There's also a list of ones that dont work on the website few been mentioned already in this thread :P.

http://www.maxim.co.uk/realgirls/sextips/6145/chatup_lines_that_work_plus_some_that_dont.html

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