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Best/worst/weirdest chat up lines

24

Comments

  • #32
    Piriz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,269 ✭✭✭Piriz


    is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven?
    she said; im not wearing tights, its a scar from when i was stabbed during a sexual assault:eek:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpttKzgZ7yU&feature=channel


  • #33
    dublin 16 lad
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 143 ✭✭dublin 16 lad


    Hi have you ever been to India?

    Cause I want to get it into ya!


  • #34
    thetonynator
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,234 ✭✭✭thetonynator


    mendusa wrote: »

    Would you like to dance?



    Can I buy you a drink?

    Not at all original!!!!



    Here's one: I've lost my treasure, can I look at your chest???


  • #35
    dublin 16 lad
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 143 ✭✭dublin 16 lad


    Any chance of sex?


  • #36
    magma69
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,629 ✭✭✭magma69


    Very nice! How much?

    Works a charm.


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  • #37
    Closed ac
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,347 ✭✭✭Closed ac


    I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talkin' to you.


  • #38
    Bonito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 ✭✭✭Bonito


    Me:"Sorry what perfume are you wearing, it smells very nice?"
    Her: "What? I smell?
    Me: "No, what's your perfume it's nice?"
    Her: "Oh, it's addict by Dior"
    Me: "I think I'm addicted already" While placing hand on small of her back (not too high and not too low) and giving her a kiss on the cheek ;)


  • #39
    jd007
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,094 ✭✭✭jd007


    NOW!


  • #40
    Closed ac
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,347 ✭✭✭Closed ac


    Bonito wrote: »
    Me:"Sorry what perfume are you wearing, it smells very nice?"
    Her: "What? I smell?
    Me: "No, what's your perfume it's nice?"
    Her: "Oh, it's addict by Dior"
    Me: "I think I'm addicted already" While placing hand on small of her back (not too high and not too low) and giving her a kiss on the cheek ;)

    Jeez, that's a bit much, all we want is some ass?


  • #41
    Bonito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 ✭✭✭Bonito


    DKZ wrote: »
    Jeez, that's a bit much, all we want is some ass?
    Well I didn't go home alone that night ;) In fact, I didn't go home at all :D


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  • #42
    Atavan-Halen
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,183 ✭✭✭✭Atavan-Halen


    Bonito wrote: »
    Well I didn't go home alone that night ;) In fact, I didn't go home at all :D

    You spent a night in the hospital after a severe kick to the groin didn't you


  • #43
    tony1kenobi
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,752 ✭✭✭tony1kenobi


    Best chat up line ever is:

    "Hi,I'm Bruce Willis"

    But it only works for Bruce Willis.

    Best chat up line I ever heard:

    "Do you ****?"

    Dude only needed one girl to say yes,and one did.


  • #44
    Bonito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 ✭✭✭Bonito


    atavan-halen wrote: »
    You spent a night in the hospital after a severe kick to the groin didn't you

    NO











    /yes


  • #45
    ch252
    Closed Accounts Posts: 668 ✭✭✭ch252


    I have some tragic news, my cock died. Can I bury it in your ass?


    60% of the time, works everytime:p


  • #46
    Westwood
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 535 ✭✭✭Westwood


    two friends at the bar, one bowler one good looking the usual. approach the fat bowler and ask her would she like to dance. she replies ''id love to'' well fcuk off and do so I can talk to your mate!!!


  • #47
    sesna
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,229 ✭✭✭sesna


    Midnight_EG wrote: »
    Your dick isn't a bone :cool:

    The humerus is though


  • #48
    epgc3fyqirnbsx
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,228 ✭✭✭epgc3fyqirnbsx


    I've got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give you the keys


  • #49
    Ferris_Bueller
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,738 ✭✭✭Ferris_Bueller


    Roses are red,
    Weeds are green,
    I love your legs,
    and whats in between


  • #50
    McChubbin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,080 ✭✭✭McChubbin


    Ferris_Bueller wrote: »
    Roses are red,
    Weeds are green,
    I love your legs,
    and whats in between

    Roses are red,
    Violets are blue....















    ....I'll f'uck you with a rake.


  • #51
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 95,758 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    no ones mentioned this classic



    Nice shoes.
    Wanna Fúck ?


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  • #52
    ddef
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 426 ✭✭ddef


    "What do you say we go out on a date? Have some chicken, maybe some sex... You know, see what happens"


  • #53
    Lockstep
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,026 ✭✭✭Lockstep


    Hey baby, my name isn't Jesus, but the size of it is a miracle and you don't have to wait until the third day for it to rise again.


  • #54
    Midnight_EG
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,801 ✭✭✭Midnight_EG


    kickoutthejams wrote: »
    Hey baby, my name isn't Jesus, but the size of it is a miracle and you don't have to wait until the third day for it to rise again.
    Your ego? :D


  • #55
    Midnight_EG
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,801 ✭✭✭Midnight_EG


    sesna wrote: »
    The humerus is though
    Hence the whole funny bone thing :P


  • #56
    Gone West
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,374 ✭✭✭Gone West


    Bonito wrote: »
    Me:"Sorry what perfume are you wearing, it smells very nice?"
    Her: "What? I smell?
    Me: "No, what's your perfume it's nice?"
    Her: "Oh, it's addict by Dior"
    Me: "I think I'm addicted already" While placing hand on small of her back (not too high and not too low) and giving her a kiss on the cheek ;)
    Thats not a chat up line, your "punchline" depended on her answer. Unless you knew what she would say. Either way I am so embarrassed for you :pac:

    Theres the XKCD pickup gag (which technically isnt a chat up line either!)
    http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/psychic.png

    only works 1% of the time :D


  • #57
    Bonito
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,399 ✭✭✭Bonito


    el judìo wrote: »
    Thats not a chat up line, your "punchline" depended on her answer. Unless you knew what she would say. Either way I am so jealous of you :pac:

    Fixed that ;)


  • #58
    dylano_k
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 809 ✭✭✭dylano_k


    Its 2.25, im your last chance of a shag tonight love...


  • #59
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 18,046 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    "You know how I know we're gonna make love tonight?... Because I'm stronger than you."


  • #60
    Alan_007_
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 362 ✭✭Alan_007_


    Are you a chicken farmer? Cos you sure know how to raise a cock.

    Are you a computer expert? Cos you've just turned my software into hardware.


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  • #61
    Darksaga87
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,990 ✭✭✭Darksaga87


    Wanna go halfs on a bastard?


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