IRA vs the Taliban - who would win? US TV goes in search of the answer....cringe

darkman2 · 30-05-2009 07:03PM #1

IRA versus Taliban - who would win?

Who would win in a fight between the IRA and the Taliban?

The makers of an American television show have created a computer simulator to provide the answer to a question no-one was asking, outside of a school playground or in a pub after a few too many drinks.

Deadliest Warrior pitches hypothetical fights between historical figures, assessing the strengths and weaknesses of factors such as weaponry and tactics, like a hi-tech version of playground card game Top Trumps.

The analysis is used to create a computer model where the battle plays out to the death.

It is broadcast by Spike, a cable channel owned by MTV aimed at "young adult males", and the pitch for Sunday's programme is suitably dramatic.

"The Taliban - deadly extremists battling in the mountains of Afghanistan, versus the IRA - elusive, hard-hitting masters of Ireland's urban jungles.

"It's a battle to the death, between two lethal guerrilla warriors, armed to the teeth with flamethrowers, rocket launchers, carbines, mines and a devastating home-made bombs."

..........

Previous episode titles include Viking vs Samurai, Spartan vs Ninja and Pirate vs Knight.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/northern_ireland/8073845.stm

lol! That is all....

johnnyskeleton · 30-05-2009 07:04PM

Ireland's urban jungles?

dlofnep · 30-05-2009 07:04PM

Here we go again..

javaboy · 30-05-2009 07:04PM

Wouldn't they just team up and kill the British?

seanybiker · 30-05-2009 07:07PM

The IRA wouldnt stand a chance. They would bitch up and surrender after 2 minutes. Then spend years killing their own people. Numpties

CHD · 30-05-2009 07:07PM

I'd back the IRA if its in a urban setting.

Durka Durka shirpa shir.

markok84 · 30-05-2009 07:09PM

"It's a battle to the death, between two lethal guerrilla warriors, armed to the teeth with flamethrowers, rocket launchers, carbines, mines and a devastating home-made bombs."

Everything homemade is always better..... jam, bread, cakes, bombs.

minidazzler · 30-05-2009 07:09PM

The Taliban aren't afraid to die, the IRA are. Therefore the Taliban would win through sheer brute force.

It's utter Bull though, I saw one Episode and laughed my hole off at how stupid it was!

Mmcd · 30-05-2009 07:09PM

seanybiker wrote: »

The IRA wouldnt stand a chance. They would bitch up and surrender after 2 minutes. Then spend years killing their own people. Numpties

And what does suicide bombing do then?

DublinWriter · 30-05-2009 07:13PM

The IRA would infiltrate the Taliban using an agent called Abdul Abhaile.

Dyr · 30-05-2009 07:16PM

Should be easy enough to spot the talibans efforts to infiltrate west belfast, then fire irish breakfast mortars at the sausage dodging nutters

Irjudge1 · 30-05-2009 07:19PM

Sweet mother of jesus. This sounds like they may start looking for WMD's upnorth soon. I'm moving away from the border. Those american **** heads are nuts.

My name is URL · 30-05-2009 07:22PM

Tiochaidh ar Durka

hacx · 30-05-2009 07:23PM

How would the yanks feel if we made a progam called; 2 Boeing 747s vs. The World Trade Centre.

Archeron · 30-05-2009 07:24PM

Oooh, hypothetical battles. I wanna see the Smurfs V the Fraggles.

Smurfs can't use Gargamel and Fraggles aren't allowed use doozers as cannon fodder.

Armin_Tamzarian · 30-05-2009 07:31PM

CHD wrote: »

I'd back the IRA if its in a urban setting.

Durka Durka shirpa shir.

Hmmm lets see.

The IRA failed to win the battle for a corner of our tiny island.
The Taliban are still holding against the joint US and British forces in Afghanistan and are currently advancing on the capital of Pakistan,
one of the most highly populated countries in the world.

The Taliban is funded by oil rich Saudis and the heroin trade.
The IRA was funded by sales of dodgy fags, Wolfetones gigs and some starry eyed Yanks.

But most importantly.
The IRA killed by using complicated hit-and-miss bombing/sniping strategies that could be described as difficult to pull off at best.
The Taliban walk up to their targets and detonate themselves.

Tough one to call alright.

trout · 30-05-2009 07:38PM

Grizzly Bear versus the dumbass who came up with this idea.

In the interest of fairness, I would coat the dumbass with a dog friendly combo of Jack Daniels BBQ sauce and Pedigree Chum

triseke · 30-05-2009 07:40PM

all i can say is im surprised it took them this long to come up with something like this

phasers · 30-05-2009 07:40PM

Apparently the next episode is the Nazis against the Decepticons

dlofnep · 30-05-2009 07:46PM

minidazzler wrote: »

The Taliban aren't afraid to die, the IRA are.

Hunger Strikes, hello?

Mint Sauce · 30-05-2009 07:46PM

Armin_Tamzarian wrote: »

Hmmm lets see.

The IRA failed to win the battle for a corner of our tiny island.
The Taliban are still holding against the joint US and British forces in Afghanistan and are currently advancing on the capital of Pakistan,
one of the most highly populated countries in the world.

The Taliban is funded by oil rich Saudis and the heroin trade.
The IRA was funded by sales of dodgy fags, Wolfe Tones gigs and some starry eyed Yanks.

But most importantly.
The IRA killed by using complicated hit-and-miss bombing/sniping strategies that could be described as difficult to pull off at best.
The Taliban walk up to their targets and detonate themselves.

Tough one to call alright.

plus the IRA told the police/security forces where the bomb was, and when it was going to go off, the taliban, dont.

BlitzKrieg · 30-05-2009 07:48PM

This must get onto youtube.

IT MUST!

markok84 · 30-05-2009 07:49PM

phasers wrote: »

Apparently the next episode is the Nazis against the Decepticons

As long as it's not the Nazis versus the Jews, we all know how that one ended.

af_thefragile · 30-05-2009 07:53PM

BlitzKrieg wrote: »

This must get onto youtube.

IT MUST!

Its not...

But if you find it, lemme know!!:pac:

BlitzKrieg · 30-05-2009 07:58PM

it doesnt air until tomorrow in the us, after that I am hoping someone puts it up (or at least a preview) for us all to point and laugh and p*ss off posters on the us politics forum by redoing the whole *dumb americans* routine that gets then so worked up

*in a premptive strike for the reported post I do not subscribe to the dumb american idelogy I just apply to logic that while a number of them are unable to master the geography of world nations, I am unable to name all 50 states of the US, likewise over the same landmass size of the US I cannot name all the counties of the UK or the provences of France etc etc, different geography focus.

stevoslice · 30-05-2009 08:03PM

Armin_Tamzarian wrote: »

Hmmm lets see.

The IRA failed to win the battle for a corner of our tiny island.
The Taliban are still holding against the joint US and British forces in Afghanistan and are currently advancing on the capital of Pakistan,
one of the most highly populated countries in the world.

Which IRA are we talking about here, the one which succesfully fought a rebellion against the largest organised army in the world.

30-05-2009 08:03PM

When I was in London with my girlfriend we were amused to see it was Buddha's birthday and there were tents set up in Leicster square. After a short while we could hear bells and chanting and there appeared the Hare Krishnas.

Now that would have made for a good fight. I kept getting a West Side Story-esqe image in my head of the Buddhist squaring up against the Krishnas.

bobmalooka · 30-05-2009 08:09PM

I'd love to know what possible reason the taliban and the IRA would have to go to war with each other.

Now that would make a godd show

markok84 · 30-05-2009 08:14PM

af_thefragile wrote: »

Its not...

But if you find it, lemme know!!:pac:

well I hope that it's as impartial and as accurate as when Captain planet visited Belfast.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQJrovKgrTw

Armin_Tamzarian · 30-05-2009 08:16PM

bobmalooka wrote: »

I'd love to know what possible reason the taliban and the IRA would have to go to war with each other.

Now that would make a godd show

At an international terrorist convention trouble brews in the hotel bar.
A Taliban member disses an IRA member's headdress, telling him that
the balaclava is "sooo last season" and that turbans are where it's at.

The IRA man reacts badly to the slur and throws down to the Taliban member.
Once the Taliban member has been served there's no turning back and things just escalate from there.

hacx · 30-05-2009 08:19PM

Waitwaitwait. On RTE2 today the Columbo movie had some IRA fella in it trying to get a boatload of Mac-9's into Ireland. Maybe he was gearing up for a Taliban assault?

IRA vs the Taliban - who would win? US TV goes in search of the answer....*cringe*

Comments

IRA vs the Taliban - who would win? US TV goes in search of the answer....cringe