IRA vs the Taliban - who would win? US TV goes in search of the answer....*cringe*

darkman2

IRA versus Taliban - who would win?




Who would win in a fight between the IRA and the Taliban?

The makers of an American television show have created a computer simulator to provide the answer to a question no-one was asking, outside of a school playground or in a pub after a few too many drinks.

Deadliest Warrior pitches hypothetical fights between historical figures, assessing the strengths and weaknesses of factors such as weaponry and tactics, like a hi-tech version of playground card game Top Trumps.

The analysis is used to create a computer model where the battle plays out to the death.



It is broadcast by Spike, a cable channel owned by MTV aimed at "young adult males", and the pitch for Sunday's programme is suitably dramatic.

"The Taliban - deadly extremists battling in the mountains of Afghanistan, versus the IRA - elusive, hard-hitting masters of Ireland's urban jungles.

"It's a battle to the death, between two lethal guerrilla warriors, armed to the teeth with flamethrowers, rocket launchers, carbines, mines and a devastating home-made bombs."

..........

Previous episode titles include Viking vs Samurai, Spartan vs Ninja and Pirate vs Knight.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/northern_ireland/8073845.stm

lol! That is all....

johnnyskeleton

Ireland's urban jungles?

dlofnep

Here we go again..

javaboy

Wouldn't they just team up and kill the British?

seanybiker

The IRA wouldnt stand a chance. They would bitch up and surrender after 2 minutes. Then spend years killing their own people. Numpties

CHD

I'd back the IRA if its in a urban setting.

Durka Durka shirpa shir.

markok84

"It's a battle to the death, between two lethal guerrilla warriors, armed to the teeth with flamethrowers, rocket launchers, carbines, mines and a devastating home-made bombs."

Everything homemade is always better..... jam, bread, cakes, bombs.

minidazzler

The Taliban aren't afraid to die, the IRA are. Therefore the Taliban would win through sheer brute force.


It's utter Bull though, I saw one Episode and laughed my hole off at how stupid it was!

Mmcd

seanybiker wrote: »

The IRA wouldnt stand a chance. They would bitch up and surrender after 2 minutes. Then spend years killing their own people. Numpties

And what does suicide bombing do then?

DublinWriter

The IRA would infiltrate the Taliban using an agent called Abdul Abhaile.

Dyr

Should be easy enough to spot the talibans efforts to infiltrate west belfast, then fire irish breakfast mortars at the sausage dodging nutters

Irjudge1

Sweet mother of jesus. This sounds like they may start looking for WMD's upnorth soon. I'm moving away from the border. Those american **** heads are nuts.

My name is URL

Tiochaidh ar Durka

hacx

How would the yanks feel if we made a progam called; 2 Boeing 747s vs. The World Trade Centre.

Archeron

Oooh, hypothetical battles. I wanna see the Smurfs V the Fraggles.

Smurfs can't use Gargamel and Fraggles aren't allowed use doozers as cannon fodder.

Armin_Tamzarian

CHD wrote: »

I'd back the IRA if its in a urban setting.

Durka Durka shirpa shir.

Hmmm lets see.

The IRA failed to win the battle for a corner of our tiny island.
The Taliban are still holding against the joint US and British forces in Afghanistan and are currently advancing on the capital of Pakistan,
one of the most highly populated countries in the world.

The Taliban is funded by oil rich Saudis and the heroin trade.
The IRA was funded by sales of dodgy fags, Wolfetones gigs and some starry eyed Yanks.

But most importantly.
The IRA killed by using complicated hit-and-miss bombing/sniping strategies that could be described as difficult to pull off at best.
The Taliban walk up to their targets and detonate themselves.

Tough one to call alright.

trout

Grizzly Bear versus the dumbass who came up with this idea.

In the interest of fairness, I would coat the dumbass with a dog friendly combo of Jack Daniels BBQ sauce and Pedigree Chum

triseke

all i can say is im surprised it took them this long to come up with something like this

phasers

Apparently the next episode is the Nazis against the Decepticons

dlofnep

minidazzler wrote: »

The Taliban aren't afraid to die, the IRA are.

Hunger Strikes, hello?

Mint Sauce

Armin_Tamzarian wrote: »

Hmmm lets see.

The IRA failed to win the battle for a corner of our tiny island.
The Taliban are still holding against the joint US and British forces in Afghanistan and are currently advancing on the capital of Pakistan,
one of the most highly populated countries in the world.

The Taliban is funded by oil rich Saudis and the heroin trade.
The IRA was funded by sales of dodgy fags, Wolfe Tones gigs and some starry eyed Yanks.

But most importantly.
The IRA killed by using complicated hit-and-miss bombing/sniping strategies that could be described as difficult to pull off at best.
The Taliban walk up to their targets and detonate themselves.

Tough one to call alright.

plus the IRA told the police/security forces where the bomb was, and when it was going to go off, the taliban, dont.

BlitzKrieg

This must get onto youtube.

IT MUST!

markok84

phasers wrote: »

Apparently the next episode is the Nazis against the Decepticons

As long as it's not the Nazis versus the Jews, we all know how that one ended.

af_thefragile

BlitzKrieg wrote: »

This must get onto youtube.

IT MUST!

Its not...

But if you find it, lemme know!!:pac:

BlitzKrieg

it doesnt air until tomorrow in the us, after that I am hoping someone puts it up (or at least a preview) for us all to point and laugh and p*ss off posters on the us politics forum by redoing the whole *dumb americans* routine that gets then so worked up




*in a premptive strike for the reported post I do not subscribe to the dumb american idelogy I just apply to logic that while a number of them are unable to master the geography of world nations, I am unable to name all 50 states of the US, likewise over the same landmass size of the US I cannot name all the counties of the UK or the provences of France etc etc, different geography focus.

stevoslice

Armin_Tamzarian wrote: »

Hmmm lets see.

The IRA failed to win the battle for a corner of our tiny island.
The Taliban are still holding against the joint US and British forces in Afghanistan and are currently advancing on the capital of Pakistan,
one of the most highly populated countries in the world.

Which IRA are we talking about here, the one which succesfully fought a rebellion against the largest organised army in the world.

When I was in London with my girlfriend we were amused to see it was Buddha's birthday and there were tents set up in Leicster square. After a short while we could hear bells and chanting and there appeared the Hare Krishnas.

Now that would have made for a good fight. I kept getting a West Side Story-esqe image in my head of the Buddhist squaring up against the Krishnas.

bobmalooka

I'd love to know what possible reason the taliban and the IRA would have to go to war with each other.

Now that would make a godd show

markok84

af_thefragile wrote: »

Its not...

But if you find it, lemme know!!:pac:

well I hope that it's as impartial and as accurate as when Captain planet visited Belfast.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQJrovKgrTw

Armin_Tamzarian

bobmalooka wrote: »

I'd love to know what possible reason the taliban and the IRA would have to go to war with each other.

Now that would make a godd show

At an international terrorist convention trouble brews in the hotel bar.
A Taliban member disses an IRA member's headdress, telling him that
the balaclava is "sooo last season" and that turbans are where it's at.

The IRA man reacts badly to the slur and throws down to the Taliban member.
Once the Taliban member has been served there's no turning back and things just escalate from there.

hacx

Waitwaitwait. On RTE2 today the Columbo movie had some IRA fella in it trying to get a boatload of Mac-9's into Ireland. Maybe he was gearing up for a Taliban assault?

ejmaztec

thebhoy wrote: »

Which IRA are we talking about here, the one which succesfully fought a rebellion against the largest organised army in the world.

So why did they fight the Chinese?

Dartz

What about NATO -v- USSR?

Or for that matter, Limerick -v- Finglas?

Denerick

markok84 wrote: »

well I hope that it's as impartial and as accurate as when Captain planet visited Belfast.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQJrovKgrTw

What a bizarre 5 minutes that was.

professore

Has to be a major new video game !!!

Capt'n Midnight

markok84 wrote: »

As long as it's not the Nazis versus the Jews, we all know how that one ended.

The Jews now have nuclear weapons and the Germans don't.

Capt'n Midnight

javaboy wrote: »

Wouldn't they just team up and kill the British?

The PLO used to have Idi Amin as a guest and hold training camps for the IRA so yes.

Capt'n Midnight

Aren't the Wolf Tones a Tallaght band ?

General Zod

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

The PLO used to have Idi Amin as a guest and hold training camps for the IRA so yes.

Taliban hate the PLO actually. Don't think they are wahabbi enough for their liking.

Rented Mule

hacx wrote: »

How would the yanks feel if we made a progam called; 2 Boeing 747s vs. The World Trade Centre.

We're already seen that one.

We need to see the sequel,sort of a cross between Star Wars and Lord of the Rings.

Revenge of the Two Towers.

Irjudge1

hacx wrote: »

How would the yanks feel if we made a progam called; 2 Boeing 747s vs. The World Trade Centre.

They'd be very upset because we had mispelt Center. Arseholes.

book smarts

dlofnep wrote: »

Hunger Strikes, hello?

Once again your pro-IRA stance is revealed. You will never have a united Eire. Never. How do you like those apples?

General Zod

Rented Mule wrote: »

We're already seen that one.

We need to see the sequel,sort of a cross between Star Wars and Lord of the Rings.

Revenge of the Two Towers.

For the sequel they could crash a plane into the pentagon.


wait.....

Denerick

book smarts wrote: »

Once again your pro-IRA stance is revealed. You will never have a united Eire. Never. How do you like those apples?

*coughTrollcough*

Diogenes

Deadliest Warrior is a guilty pleasure of mine.

Previous Episodes have included;

Pirate V Knight (Pirate for the Win)

Shaolin Monk V Maori Warrior (Monk with Steel weapons wins)

Spartan V Ninja (Surprisingly Spartan)

Mafia V Yakuza (Mafia, but it was close)

Green Beret V Spenatz (Spenatz but it was v close)

---

Since it's an American program I'm thinking IRA, those Arran jumpers can soak up loads of damage.

Happy Monday

Armin_Tamzarian wrote: »

Hmmm lets see.

The IRA failed to win the battle for a corner of our tiny island.
The Taliban are still holding against the joint US and British forces in Afghanistan and are currently advancing on the capital of Pakistan,
one of the most highly populated countries in the world.

The Taliban is funded by oil rich Saudis and the heroin trade.
The IRA was funded by sales of dodgy fags, Wolfetones gigs and some starry eyed Yanks.

But most importantly.
The IRA killed by using complicated hit-and-miss bombing/sniping strategies that could be described as difficult to pull off at best.
The Taliban walk up to their targets and detonate themselves.

Tough one to call alright.

Well said!

The Taliban also forced the a massive Soviet Union military presence to leave Afghanistan in the mid 1980s.

You could have counted the amount of British army casualties on one hand coming into the 1990s.

Ri_Nollaig

Happy Monday wrote: »

The Taliban also forced the a massive Soviet Union military presence to leave Afghanistan in the mid 1980s.

that was the Mujahideen. the taliban came to power in the mid 90's

Diogenes

Happy Monday wrote: »

Well said!

The Taliban also forced the a massive Soviet Union military presence to leave Afghanistan in the mid 1980s.

You could have counted the amount of British army casualties on one hand coming into the 1990s.

The IRA did at times go out of their way to avoid civilian casualties, as their technical ability approved they often actively targeted civilian infrastructure to cause massive financial disruption. Look at Manchester or the Heathrow mortar attacks.

I'm no IRA apologist, and they kneecapped many children, and murdered many innocents who they claimed were "touts", but the IRA never used football stadiums as execution forums, and never blew themselves up in order to kill civilians.

The difference is while the IRA ruled catholic areas through terror, they were also protectors, of a sort, the Taliban rule by complete fear a masssive indifference to civilian live. That doesn't make them better fighters. The IRA nearly killed Thatcher in Brighton, and Lobbed 3 mortars into 10 downing streets backyard, as well as firing a rocket at Mi5 headquarters and walked away and no one was ever captured for any of these attacks.

Dyr

NEXT on deadliest keyboard warrior:

west brits vs holocaust deniers, who's awesome ignorance of history will prevail?

Stay tuned!!

Diogenes

Ri_Nollaig wrote: »

that was the Mujahideen. the taliban came to power in the mid 90's

The difference is semantic, the Taliban drew itself from the ranks of the Mujahideen.

Dyr

Diogenes wrote: »

T. The IRA nearly killed Thatcher in Brighton, and Lobbed 3 mortars into 10 downing streets backyard, as well as firing a rocket at Mi5 headquarters and walked away and no one was ever captured for any of these attacks.

Some fella did time for brighton.