Ever caught letting off some knuckle children

scruff321 · 18-08-2007 07:43PM

Anto McC wrote:

Never been caught bellyboxing thankfully.QUOTE]

bellyboxing love it!!

gyppo · 19-08-2007 05:57PM

Mossy Monk wrote:

Knuckle children?

Caught four times. Twice by my mother, once by my brother and once by my sister. Very awkward.

Silly wanker.

thefinalstage · 19-08-2007 06:30PM

gyppo wrote:

Silly wanker.

Silly Wabbit, Jip is for (making) kids!

The guy · 20-08-2007 12:53AM

Since this thread is already off-topic:
Peter griffin:
This place doesn't have porn; they think it's immoral. You know, that really grinds my gears. Where exactly in the Bible does it say a man can't fire off some knuckle-children in the privacy of his own neighbor's living room while his neighbor's at work because I don't have a DVD player? Well, I don't know where it says it because the Bible is way too long to read!

8k2q1gfcz9s5d4 · 20-08-2007 09:18AM

a lot of people have picked the playstation 3. does that mean they would rather play a playstation 3 than bashing the bishop?

Duggy747 · 20-08-2007 09:37AM

Melissa Big Bus wrote:

a lot of people have picked the playstation 3. does that mean they would rather play a playstation 3 than bashing the bishop?

Fúckin' nerds!!

*Insightful Post Of The Day Nomination*

matt-dublin · 20-08-2007 09:48AM

Melissa Big Bus wrote:

a lot of people have picked the playstation 3. does that mean they would rather play a playstation 3 than bashing the bishop?

no it means they haven't been caught!

everyone plays with the trouser python, not everyone gets caught, and not everyone admits it.

For all those who picked playstation 3 we are assumming you do it but haven't been caught!

8k2q1gfcz9s5d4 · 20-08-2007 12:24PM

matt-dublin wrote:

everyone plays with the trouser python, not everyone gets caught, and not everyone admits it.

cant really understand why people dont admit to it. i mean who is going to believe them anyway!

matt-dublin · 20-08-2007 12:28PM

i vote that an admin should take out the playstation 3 option, and put all the votes from it into the no option!

mcauley · 20-08-2007 12:31PM

Duggy747 wrote:

Supose none of you saw a program that was on Bravo some years ago, it covered the topic of how some men like to stick things INTO their mickey. It was horrible, the show was just flashing images of things.............jammed down the jap eye like the entire handle of a fork, entire heel of a stiletto shoe.............*shudders while writing this* and the stem of a plant that had torns on it which, unsuprisingly, dug into his inner cock flesh as the wierdo tried taking it out again. Much surgery and laughter ensued

*shudders*

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrgggh!!!!!!!

Jesus.

*WINCES IN SEVERE PAIN*

AARRRGH · 20-08-2007 01:20PM

CantGetNoSleep wrote:

is there not a game called mam or something?

you have to call yer ma when ur **** and see if you can finish before she gets to you

Haha, actually laughed out loud

Plissken1 · 20-08-2007 02:27PM

I used to be in digs in Dublin, with this family. The family had a daughter, and she had a computer in her room that I also used. One day I walked in to use it, and she going at it on the bed, I pretended I didnt see what was going on and left the room. I mean she was only 14 for feck sake !! neither of us ever brought the subject up, it's best just to let these things go, sure it could happen to anyone.

Steve_o · 20-08-2007 03:17PM

Plissken1 wrote:

I used to be in digs in Dublin, with this family. The family had a daughter, and she had a computer in her room that I also used. One day I walked in to use it, and she going at it on the bed, I pretended I didnt see what was going on and left the room. I mean she was only 14 for feck sake !! neither of us ever brought the subject up, it's best just to let these things go, sure it could happen to anyone.

Ah yea...

Fad · 20-08-2007 03:19PM

i heard my mates mum whinging to my mum about catching with his knob ''polished'' with her expensive moisturiser, i didnt hear my mums reply (thankfully no doubt itd be something incriminating:rolleyes: )

mcauley · 20-08-2007 03:20PM

Fad wrote:

i heard my mates mum whinging about catching with his knob ''polished'' with her expensive moisturiser, i didnt hear my mums reply (thankfully no doubt itd be something incriminating:rolleyes: )

Surely mothers wouldnt use such language!!!

Fad · 20-08-2007 03:26PM

oh! of course not, some poetic liscense involved

Steve_o · 20-08-2007 03:26PM

mcauley wrote:

Surely mothers wouldnt use such language!!!

YORE MA does.....

sorry!!!

Duggy747 · 20-08-2007 03:34PM

Plissken1 wrote:

One day I walked in to use it, and she going at it on the bed, I pretended I didnt see what was going on and left the room. I mean she was only 14 for feck sake !! neither of us ever brought the subject up, it's best just to let these things go, sure it could happen to anyone.

Ah come on, man!! If porn movies have taught me anything is that when a guy walks in on a girl furiously jamming it into herself then he whips out his lad and she gives him thorough service.

I only assume this happens in real life!!

Fad · 20-08-2007 03:38PM

Duggy747 wrote:

Ah come on, man!! If porn movies have taught me anything is that when a guy walks in on a girl furiously jamming it into herself then he whips out his lad and she gives him thorough service.

I only assume this happens in real life!!

(she was 14 though:rolleyes: )

Poxyshamrock · 20-08-2007 05:50PM

Nope never caught THANK F**K!!!
Still only 16 though

What's the PS3 about?

thefinalstage · 20-08-2007 06:05PM

Fad wrote:

(she was 14 though:rolleyes: )

Maybe the computer should be moved elsewhere...

Hermy · 21-08-2007 01:22AM

Almost caught a few years ago but in my haste to conceal the evidence said evidence got caught in the trouser zipper:eek: and me had to sit there in agony till the other person left the room. Much more careful in future!:rolleyes:

ciano1 · 21-08-2007 01:59AM

loooool....the first thread i ever actually bothered to read in AH

I never got caught but had close shaves....concealed the evidence with the duvet most of the time and hid the aftermath in some kleenex

Senna · 21-08-2007 02:43AM

in secondary school, many years ago, there was an outside toilet block that all the fellas used to smoke in. the teachers would 'raid' it every so often, usually some kids outside would shout in whenever a teacher came near. on one of these 'raids' somebody shouted and all the fellas put the fags in the toilet and walked out, a few seconds later a first year student came rushing out of one of the stalls and the teacher stop him and said 'what were you at', the young fella started crying and said ' i was having a w@nk'. the teacher just went bright red and walked away.
i felt sorry for him and he never heard the end of it.

davyjose · 21-08-2007 02:46AM

grumpytrousers wrote:

the version of the urban myth i've heard is "opened my eyes and there was a nice cup of tea by my bed"

There's also the one about the guy who dresses up in his missus' knickers and highheels when she's out shoppin with the girls, stumbles on the heel going down the stairs, breaks his ankle and can only lie there waiting for the missus and her mates to come home.

al-007 · 21-08-2007 09:12AM

davyjose wrote:

There's also the one about the guy who dresses up in his missus' knickers and highheels when she's out shoppin with the girls, stumbles on the heel going down the stairs, breaks his ankle and can only lie there waiting for the missus and her mates to come home.

Your a bad man..... bet she wasnt impressed!!!

Stephen · 21-08-2007 10:05AM

Senna wrote:

in secondary school, many years ago, there was an outside toilet block that all the fellas used to smoke in. the teachers would 'raid' it every so often, usually some kids outside would shout in whenever a teacher came near. on one of these 'raids' somebody shouted and all the fellas put the fags in the toilet and walked out, a few seconds later a first year student came rushing out of one of the stalls and the teacher stop him and said 'what were you at', the young fella started crying and said ' i was having a w@nk'. the teacher just went bright red and walked away.
i felt sorry for him and he never heard the end of it.

Could he not just have said he was having a dump? 0_o

thefinalstage · 21-08-2007 12:28PM

Stephen wrote:

Could he not just have said he was having a dump? 0_o

I guess the truth just got blurted out. It wouldn't be a big deal in my old school though. Some whipped it out in class. Not pretty.

matt-dublin · 21-08-2007 12:43PM

thelastangryman wrote:

I guess the truth just got blurted out. It wouldn't be a big deal in my old school though. Some whipped it out in class. Not pretty.

all boys gay school i presume?

Keyzer · 21-08-2007 12:43PM

I caught someone knocking one out before, it was disgusting....

I was 16 at the time (I'm now 29) and working in fast food establishment.
On the late shift one night, the store closed so nipped to the crew room, which was up about 9 flights of stairs, for a quick smoke.
I walk into the crew room and discover a bloke there, about twice the size of me and a good few years older, furiously polishing his knob to the 5 minute free view on the fantasy channel that came on at midnight (we had a decoder and telly in the crew room).

I was mortified and I thought he was going to beat the living crap out of me.

Dirty bastard had the cheek to get pissed off with me for catching him, then turns around and says "You missed the best bit".

Like I was going to join in?

Ugggh, makes me sick now even thinking about it....

Ever caught letting off some knuckle children

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